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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this was horrible behaviour and not want anything to do with my friend ever again?

67 replies

BellaBahBooBoo · 16/06/2012 15:30

I have a friend that I've known for a few years, and to be fair she's always been nice enough but had a bit of a snobby outlook. In the past she has made comments aimed towards me about not being able to afford the same types of shops as her for clothes for the DCs. She likes Boden, Fat Face and John Lewis and I go to H&M and Primark as my budget is small. She has referred to me in the past as a bargain hunter, which I'm not sure I find all that flattering. It's not a choice of bargain hunting for a little fun but more because I have to bargain hunt.

She also often brings a friend when we meet up, who she sees a lot more frequently when she sees me and to be honest she creeps and crawls to this other friend and treats her like the queen, then I get sidelined whilst we're out and ignored, they sometimes walk along arm in arm and talk about things that I know nothing about and am not party to, things like expensive holidays they have booked together or nights out they have been on.

We met up on Wednesday last week. We live about an hour's drive away from each other so we meet in a city which is a halfway point for us both and we each get the train there. On Wednesday she turned up with this friend again, which I didn't mind too much, but they did their usual chatting away and I may as well not have been there. We then went into a big department store and my friend said to me "M and I are going to go off and have a look at the baby clothing so we'll come and find you in, maybe, half an hour?". I was a bit put out but as I don't have a baby and her friend does, I thought maybe they thought they were being nice and that I'd want to look at other things. After about an hour of me looking around the store they came and found me. We then went into another large store and at the entrance my friend said again "We're going to go off and have a wander, we'll find you in a little while". I was feeling quite upset but I didn't say anything, I don't know why I didn't. It was a shop I wanted to go in so I looked around, bought a couple of things, then had a look for them both and couldn't find them anywhere so I thought "fuck this" and left the store, got a taxi to the station and went home as they clearly didn't want me there.

My friend didn't text or contact me but when I got home she had sent me a PM on Facebook saying that clearly I had gone off without them and she was very disappointed as she'd travelled a long way to meet me. I haven't replied to her as I think our friendship is over, and I don't like the way she is turning it all round back to being my fault when she acted in a nasty way towards me.

OP posts:
PissyDust · 16/06/2012 17:02

Delete and ignore.

pigletmania · 16/06/2012 17:10

I would have replied, that shame you dident want to go shopping with me. Why dident you phone or text her when you were in the shop to see where they are. That's what I do with friends I'm out with. Personally your best without her, I would cool off th frienship

ImperialBlether · 16/06/2012 17:35

I would have sent her a message saying she was incredibly rude and that you didn't want to see her again. Then block, delete, ignore.

manicbmc · 16/06/2012 17:37

Tell her that all those posh shops don't seem to sell any manners. Maybe she should see if she can find some in the bargain bin? Grin

She sounds vile. Why bother going to see someone and then ignore them?

lovebunny · 16/06/2012 17:43

your friend's behaviour is shockingly rude. you don't need her in your life. ditch her.

Bunbaker · 16/06/2012 17:45

DD is in year 7. This happens all the time at school. It makes me very sad to read that some people continue to behave like this into adulthood.

NovackNGood · 16/06/2012 17:46

These kind of threads always make me laugh at the number of people who say they would send a snidy comment then delete the person as a friend etc. What a childish response that is. If you don't want to continue a friendship then just don't participate in it and if another invite comes your way just decline it. The bitchiness of sending a snidy remark etc seems very coronation street or towie and makes you out to be a toddler.

Do the snidy remark crew really think that the other party gets put out by the bitchiness. I doubt they do. Al you are doing is making yourself look like you think and act as if you re starring in your own reality z list show.

manicbmc · 16/06/2012 17:53

I have no idea about these programmes you're going on about as I don't watch them Hmm

Sometimes it feels good to get a bitchy comment in.

fuzzpig · 16/06/2012 17:57

A comment such as "you were very rude by inviting me to meet up and then wandering off without me" would not be snide or bitchy though, it would merely be stating the truth.

Anyway, you're well rid now :)

Very weird that she would always bring her other friend along when she wasn't invited Confused

sawseesaw · 16/06/2012 18:16

How awful, you could have been taken ill, fallen under a bus... she didn't call because she knew she was playing some bizarre bitchy game. What a f'ed up cow. Well rid!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 16/06/2012 18:55

Have you posted before? The bargain hunter bit sounds very familiar and your friend still sounds like a complete cow.

HecateTrivia · 16/06/2012 19:05

flashback! I have certainly heard this story before.

good that you've got rid.

skybluepearl · 16/06/2012 19:46

PM her back - Was under the impression that you didn't really want to spend time with me as you kept going off and excluding me from conversations.

rainydaysarebad · 16/06/2012 20:54

I thought of the exact same old thread when I read this!! Must be same OP.

QueenMaeve · 16/06/2012 22:02

She sounds horrible and tbh I think she just liked showing off to you. Onwards and upwards my dear Smile

Krumbum · 17/06/2012 03:41

Wow, how old are these women? I just can't imagine anyone over the age of 16 acting like this. What a weirdo, I'd send a message back but I'm too argumentative Grin

fawkeoff · 17/06/2012 04:02

firstly i think its completely rude that she thinks so little of you to just FACEBOOK you!!!!!!!!!!...........there was a life before social networking.
you are obviously well rid.....i wont pretend that i have never been friendly with a person who makes me feel better about myself.....judge if you like, but
i would never in a million years dump a friend in favour of another..........good riddance fuck her, get new friends, she's not worth the petty mither tbh

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