AIBU to be reluctant to get married?

[Pollyskettle]

We plan on buying a house and I plan on getting pregnant within the next year. That's The Plan. With capitals and all.

My DP is quite traditional and has made numerous comments in the past about getting married. Since we first met, I made it clear that I'm not a big fan of marriage, having lived through my parents' messy divorce.

I will marry him if he really wants it, but AIBU to be reluctant? Is there any real point in getting married?

Please make sure when you buy a house together if you take out any kind of life insurance that you are the benficiaries. There have been cases of unmarried couples where the man has died and the money that was supposed to go to his partner to pay off the mortgage goes to his mother instead.

A lot of the comments on how marriage affords greater protection to you should you split don't take account of the relatively common scenario if you, as the woman, bring more capital/property into the relationship. On that basis, theres quite a good case for not getting married if it doesn't appeal...

either I have my dad's surname and am his possession, or my husband's. I don't want either

But surely you have your Dad's name, whether you marry or not? And when you marry, you can keep your Dad's name? I think it is a shame that you see it as your Dad's name and not yours, but you do have the option of changing your name altogether, or to your Mum's maiden name. I don't see this as a reason not to marry.

I also don't see not wanting to be the centre of attention as a reason not to marry, as you don't even have to have anyone esle you know there!

YANBU to be apprehensive about getting married. But I always think that if one person really wants to, and the other is not bothered one way or the other, then marriage is the way forward. However, if one person is violently opposed, then no wedding.

Hope you decide what's right for you.

"and I plan on getting pregnant"

I think that this part of the OP is more worrying than the getting married part

why is that part more worrying, Boney?