WIBU to call the police?

[loveulotslikejellytots]

I went out last night for a family meal, lots of us there as it was my Brothers 21st Birthday (DB1). Everyone was drinking except DH, we live 20 minutes away, taxi's are too expensive so we always take it in turns to drive.

My Younger Brother (DB2 - not Birthday one!) was drinking all night, from 7pm until he left at 10:30pm, so he'd had at least 4-5 pints. As he got up to leave I asked him how he was getting home, he said he was driving. I told him he was being stupid and asked (in front of everyone, but quietly) why my Mum and Dad weren't trying to stop him or why they hadn't taken his keys off of him when they arrived. My Brother started sulking a usual and walked off, I was told not to make a scene.

This is a regular thing with my Brother, and my parents refuse to do anything about it. The main reason for that is my Dad will also drive home after a night out. His arguement being it's only about a mile (true) and he's been driving for years and never had an accident (also true). But it still doesn't make it ok!!!!!

So I went outside and phoned the non emergency Police number. I gave them all his car details and where he was going. Unfortunately he wasn't pulled over, the police probably didn't have time to see him driving as it is only a short distance home.

My Dad found out that I phoned the police and called me this morning. He's really angry with me and has told me it was "a bit twattish" to do that to my Brother. He also drove home (and had quite a bit to drink) and if I'd known that I would have given them his details too, but I thought they were getting a taxi. He's really angry at me.

I dont think i've done anything wrong here. My Brother will one day either kill himself or god forbid kill someone else. My Dad's lucky he hasn't already, it's pure chance he hasn't been caught either. I just dont understand them, they do this on a regular basis and let it bloody happen!!!! Beside the risk to themselves and other people on the roads etc. my Dad could lose his Job if he lost his licence.

DH and my Nan agree with me, but WIBU and apparently a twat to call the police? To be honest I dont really care if I am, I am just so angry with them all.

Or should be, as adults. I'm glad you phoned.

YANBU - I hope I would do the same if in that situation.

My DH is a fireman, he's told DB's about some of the incidents he'd been too, some involved drink some didn't. DB1 listened but the other one just shrugs it off. It is pure laziness that he drives, the same as my dad. Neither of them can be bothered to do the whole taxi thing and having to pick cars up the next day.

Drink drivers caused 380 fatalities in 2008.

Tell your DB that
? Driving or attempting to drive whilst above the legal limit or unfit through drink carries a maximum penalty of 6 months' imprisonment, a fine of up to £5,000 and a minimum 12 months driving ban.

? An endorsement for a drink-driving offence remains on a driving licence for 11 years, so it is 11 years before a convicted driver will have a "clean" licence again.

? Being in charge of a vehicle whilst over the legal limit or unfit through drink could result in 3 months' imprisonment plus a fine of up to £2,500 and a driving ban.

? The penalty for refusing to provide a specimen of breath, blood or urine for analysis is a maximum 6 months' imprisonment, up to £5000 fine and a driving ban of at least 12 months.

? Causing death by careless driving when under the influence of drink or drugs carries a maximum penalty of 14 years in prison, a minimum 2 year driving ban and a requirement to pass an extended driving test before the offender is able to drive legally again.

Of course you did the right thing and cannot believe some of the comments you have got on here.

I don't care who you rang the police about - immediate family or random stranger. You did confront your brother. He and your Dad are selfish idiots. I hope they don't kill/maim anyone

YANBU. I'm starting to suspect my DSD (19) (actually I'm pretty certain) is drink driving. I have talked to her and she flat out denies out, I think I may end up having to do what you did.

YWNBU and I would have done the same thing. They are adults who are putting other people's lives at risk and you did absolutely the right thing.

YANBU at all, you'd already tried to stop him and he wouldn't listen, what else could you have done? It doesn't matter that he's your brother - he was doing something stupid, dangerous and illegal.

If it was 'only a mile' then surely a taxi wouldn't have cost much, or he could have walked! There's no excuse.

Well done, YWNBU and I can't believe your dad inasmuch called you a twat.

For anyone saying that you don't dob your family in, well, I don't want to be killed by your family, thnks. In fact, I'd rather your family were caught by the police than mine killed.

A good friend of mine who I love dearly (even though he's an idiot) is currently serving six years for manslaughter having driven home drunk. He also has to live with that for the rest of his life. If one of the many people who were with him that night had called the police a life might have been saved and, while he might still have gone to jail, he would not have to wake up every morning knowing that he took a mother/grandmother away from her family.

YANBU. I'm sorry your family can't appreciate what you tried to do.

YANBU!

If your DB ends up killing someone all your family will have that person's blood on their hands. And I think you were right to tell your family because they need to realise how serious this is.

My argument exactly Ephiny.

NoFear - DH is trying to get permission from the brigade to bring my DB in and show him some incident photos. You could try and see if your local police or fire brigade could do something similar. I'v seen a couple of the photos of crumpled cars (nothing gory) and it is shocking. DH's station do an open day every year aimed at young drivers, maybe see if there's one near you. My DB won't go to the one near us

YWNBU. At all.

However - a word of warning from a drinky family survivor. Your family know they are doing wrong but they are in denial. That means that when they are called on their behaviour they are going to be very, very angry about you phoning the police. They are of course wrong, but I'm just warning you that this won't just go away. Find a strategy that's going to work for you (ie hanging up if they phone to give you a hard time) and make sure you get support from your DH. And work out what you're going to do on the next family night out.

And well done.

YADNBU

Thank you for doing the right thing, and please keep calling every time you know they are driving drunk. Innocent people could be killed :(

Just a few weeks ago a teenage boy round here killed himself and mangled three of his friends after no-one stopped him from leaving a party whilst drunk. Looking at the pictures of the car it is a miracle anyone got out alive.

I bet his poor parents wished someone had called the police before he had left...

You did the right thing.

If he has a habit of doing that sort of thing, you are able to put some of the responsibility on to the pub / restaurant - there have been instances of those serving the booze being responsible if i remember right (definitely in France, where the host of a dinner was convicted for allowing a pissed guest to drive home) - let them know at the start of the night he's driving and therefore shouldnt' be served. If they are fond of their licence, they may well stop pulling pints.

Thanks Wilson. I can handle
My Dad. The rest of them bury their heads in the sand. My family don't do confrontation, and they like to ignore things. That way they don't have to take any responsibility. This isn't the first time I've challenged their way of thinking, they don't like it but it's tough.

YANBU

Which is worse;

The reaction from your parents or the guilt of not doing anything and there is an accident with injuries or fatalities?

I know which one I could live with.

I never knew that Bobbi. The problem I have is that I don't live near them and wouldn't necessarily speak to them every day. I sometimes here about it after the fact. Although I could put money on my DB going out on a Friday or Saturday night, my parents go out randomly on week nights etc.

YWNBevenslightlyU! Hold your head high on this one.

OP, YANBU and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is just plain wrong.

YABU to have called the non-emergency number because that won't get an immediate response.
You should have called 999, and I hope you will next time.

YWDNBU My best friend was killed by a drink driver 17 years ago at the age of 16.

I did wonder Sally. The non emergency one put me through to our local control room, they had 2 cars in the area. They said they were sending one to his address in the hopes they would see him. I have no idea of they got there in time, if he was already home, or of he had gone somewhere else. I'll never know I suppose.