To have screamed at DH that he doesn't find it tiring because he doesn't do it right!!??

[LittleBlackCurlyHair]

So DH tells me he wants to lose weight and get fitter. I tell him "oh ok, come to my karate class with me."

So he does. He's never done it before so they had him doing very basic stuff. I'm 2 grades off black belt so by the end of the lesson I'm pretty much dying with sweat pouring off my face and my legs feeling like they're about to fall off. We leave, get in the car and DH announces "hmm, I don't think karate is for me". I ask why and he says it's "Boring" fair enough but a few weeks later he says something about "ha! karate to lose weight and get fit? no way, it's nowhere near intense enough, it's easy - anyone could do it." yeah because you spent the entire lesson stood in one spot learning how to form very basic moves!! He disagrees with me and tells me looked around and even the harder grade stuff looked easy. I feel he's just disrespecting me totally here and downgrading what I actually do.

2nd example was that we started horse riding. I picked it up fairly quickly and by the end of my 6th lesson was trotting pretty fast (rising up and down, kills your legs as any horse rider will tell you) and cantering. He on the other hand was still sat on the bloody thing like a sack of spuds bouncing around. Whenever I mentioned how my legs hurt he announced "god you're so unfit, it doesn't hurt me, I'm fine!" yes because you're not fucking doing it properly!!!!

Final example - swimming. We get in the pool. I set off doing my lengths (olympic sized pool) and I am NOT a great swimmer so I stay close to the bars and take my time, rest at each end as I have asthma but generally keep moving. He on the other hand bobs around in the shallow end, manages one length and then says he's bored/cold and we leave after an hour or so. I'm knackered by the time we get out. DH slumps into the car and says "don't know why swimming tires you out so much, it doesn't affect me" yes because you don't fucking do anything when you're in there!!!!

Anyway, he's just asked me if I wanted to take up Squash with him. I refuse because a) he'll get bored and quit on me again and b) I just know he'll stand there and then later announce it is easy and he doesn't know why I'm so tired.

He thinks I'm being a total mardy bitch about it. I am known for being quite mardy so I'll let you decide. AIBU??

Your not being unreasonable- that would drive me mad!

Surely if he's doing basic moves to learn it, it's never going to be as intense as what you're doing?

I think screaming at him is BU, but then I've shouted at my husband for far less when I've been tired & frazzled so I'm not really one to talk!

Sorry but your post made me howl,, typical competitive blole, take up squash and whip his cheeky arse.

Your description of him as a sack of spuds on a horse made me laugh out loud..

I agree with thebody. Just sounds like a typical competitve bloke who doesn;t like to admimt his missus is better than him.
I dont think YNBU but maybe just accept that you are more sporty than him and just do something for fun together rather than have to make it into a serious sport and competition all the time.

I guess YANBU to be wound up by this. And what he says is quite dismissive/undermining of your skill, fitness and sweat. Does he usually not stick to stuff? How he could say that about a martial art is astonishing - was he just winding you up?

Why not keep doing your own thing (and your sanity) and leave him to exercise by himself or with a friend? I doubt he would give out this kind of nonsense to a mate - and if he did he might be surprised by their response.

I never understand couples who want to do everything together - I like to have a few moments in my life to do something alone, without DP/DC.

for gods sakes dont get a tandem cycle, and let him be sat on the back... I can see it now..

him "well I dont know how this helps you get fit, I am not even breaking out a sweat"

you (gasping for breath) "maybe you should try pedalling too"

So, he wants you to lose weight and get fitter, but doesn't actually engage properly in any of the fitness activities that you are already doing? (sounds pretty hard core to me TBH, 2 grades off black belt you must be massively fit already!). Sounds like a cheeky sod who is envious of your ability to pick up new sports quickly and easily. See if he's any good at darts

And this is why I swim and DP runs.

We're partners not competitors - and if he wants to get fit I suggest you find him a nice strict sergeant major personal trainer to sort out his attitude training programme

The thing is I'm really not a sporty person - I'm good at Martial arts because there is no team work involved and I only have myself to compete against! I got overtaken by little old women in the swimming pool and I'm not all that great at horse riding but I do it because I love it. Stick me on a football pitch and I'd be a laughing stock! My friend keeps trying to get me to join him triathalon club and I find the idea laughable! I'd still be trying to get into my swimming stuff whilst the rest of the team would be the other side of the lake!

So I'm not a competative, sporty person by nature and I don't like to do everything with DH at all, he keeps wanting me to do stuff with him but then he can never be arsed to keep it up so says it was shit anyway. Drives me insane.

disappointed. Thought this one was going to be about sex.

Bobbi

I would tell him you don't have time for squash, what with the karate, swimming and horseriding, and suggests he joins a club himself. but best not to tell the other members how easy the game is on the first go

YANBU

I'm always dripping in sweat when I get off a horse after riding lessons.

Your DH sounds really irritating :P

OP, may I suggest you sign you both up for a boot camp type fitness club such as BMF?

Having an ex-army PT instructor shouting at you and pushing you each lesson will ensure he sweats his bollocks off and won't be stood there doing nothing. You won't be the bad guy then and can raise a smile when he's unable to walk properly the next day.

oops. Link was supposed to be: BMF

Just tell him he is weak and you will be impressed when he bench presses over 100Kilos

Me too bobbi. Curious now...

What Niceguy said.

Sounds like he is unsecure about you being a lot fitter than him and needs to put you down to make him feel better.

I thought it was going to be housework

Well, I think you sound pretty darned amazing for being 2 grades off black belt. Doesn't your dh commend you for the dedication, focus and commitment that takes?

He sounds like a prat.

Do the squash. Make him agree not to give it up just because he thinks you're not good at it. Make him sprint about that court.

Oh you should SO do the squash - because it's something you can beat him at. Karate/Swimming/Horseriding there is no scorecard, at squash you can (hopefully) trounce him!