To think I could never earn as much.....

[frannie1981]

..... As I do now if I take a few years out to be a SAHM.

I'd LOVE to stay at home until DS goes to school, could afford this on DPs wage but I want a career of my own once DS is at school.

Current industry does not take kindly to career breaks. I earn 80k at present.

AIBU to think there's not a hope in hell of me retraining as something else when off and expect to earn this (eventually) again, and before I'm due to retire (I'm 30).

Not looking for people to slate my salary, just opine whether or not I could consider this.....I've pretty much ruled it out.....

Yes you can.
My salary is not that different to yours.

I took two years off and ended up coming back in with a 30% payrise 3 months ago.

Really depends what you do and how much demand there is for what you do.

I'll be honest, I couldn't believe my luck when I went back to work and started on much higher than I had been on previously after having had over two years off, but I did.

You might be able to too.

'Tis not impossible.

yanbu, it's not fair but it's the way of the world.

if you love your job stick at it, staying at home isnt all its cracked out to be ime

That said, had i not, I wouldn't have regretted the time off with my children and regardless, my circumstances didn't allow for me to work at all.

damn- there is a big difference between 2 and 5 years out in career terms

Does current industry take kindly to a period of working PT? Would that be a workable compromise?

FWIW - and as someone who gave up work when I had DC4 and then found it very hard to get back into anything (I have managed it recently), despite bucketloads of voluntary work etc etc - I do think I didn't think long and hard enough about the effect my wish to just stop and be at home for a while would have on the long-term, and you're right to be thinking beyond the immediate future.

A four year gap is not much if you have a niche cv and ensure you keep in touch with colleagues in the field, as well as any changes in relevant legislation if it applies. I would say it is unrealistic to expect to retrain from scratch and build up again to that level easily although it depends on what you do.

She doesn't say how old her child is.

You're right, there is a difference, but I still maintain it depends on what you do for a living.

Can you disclose what you do OP?

Absolutely squeaky, that's exactly what I did.

It was actually 2.5 years now I think about it.

Thanks for replies, do you mind if I ask what you do and if you went back through contacts or just applied for a vacancy. I'm in banking sales.

Ah x post :-)

80k?? OMG what do you do!?

YABU, I think it's possible especially if you do some CPD while you're off. I'm an accountant and will be keeping my hand in doing some small business accounts as a favour and helping with the Finance stuff for my church.

I'm highly specialised OP in clinical sciences but in the private sector (work in the food industry) and I also specialise in legislation and research.

I am very very niche and whislt not in paid employment, as squeaky says, I kept in touch and kept up to date on my own time.

I took 6 years out and came back to the job at only 40% of my hours compared to before children but I was on the same net wage I'd left behind.

I worked in payroll computer systems, and went out of it for about five years due to personal circumstances, but kept an eye on changes in employment law, did a bit of temping now and again to keep a hand in.. and went back in at the same level I had left.. it can be done.

So OP, clearly several of us think YABU (which given your question, probably pleases you I guess )

It may be possible in other industries but I think it would be very difficult in IT.

Do you need to earn as much when you go back though? You could earn a lot less and still be well off, so it's really just a question of whether the continued high salary matters more to you, or being a big part of your child's early years matters more. I don't mean that in a horrible way btw, I'm just being blatant about what this descision boils down to for you. There is no reason why your salary should be slated, you must work hard for it and your boss obviously thinks you are worth it!

It's crap that we can't take time out and pick up where we left of when the reason for leaving is as fundamental as children, but that's just the way it is for now. Depending on what you decide to retrain in and how much time you are prepared to put into it, there is no good reason why you couldn't work your way up again.

Hmmm good replies. Can't do pt as practically unheard of. Not niche, just been in industry a long time so know it inside out. DS is coming up to 2. In any other economy, can see how could go back but not with unemployment levels etc, bankers looking gor work are ten a penny :-(

So it'd be 2-3 years off (depending on how old DS is when you start school).

Could you go freelance for your current employers?

Is that an option?

Wheremommagone..... Although we could afford for me to SAH, obviously now we enjoy benefits of both salaries and am weighing up reducing that by mine.

Thanks for thinking of all options but no to freelance either, its quite highly regulated so all through perm.

Such hard decisions at every corner!!

Ah well, you just have to show CPD during your time off and make sure you interview well when you return, otherwise, it sounds like it might be difficult for you.

Well, I had 8 years off and when I became a SAHM I was and had been earning 6 figures since my mid to late 20s. Was a Eurobond dealer. Went back to work in 2003 - started on £8k part-time, retrained and took professional qualifications. I now earn about £45k BUT, I love what I do, it's public sector, local, and I can juggle a family with a professional job.

I could not do that if I still worked in the City and had to be in by 7.30am and wasn't home before 8.30pm. That would be a dreadful life for all of us and by the time I had factored in a nanny, travelling time and quality of life it wouldn't have been worth it.