AiBU unreasonable to not want to take responsibility for DS's girlfriend

[BlueBirdsNest]

I posted quite a bit about the situation with my my DS1 and his girlfriend living here

They left after a difficult few days, and my DS1 has been staying at her mothers.

Now the girlfriends mother has been told her landlord she needs to move out

My DS1 can come back here , but his girlfriend is going to be on the streets unless I take her in because her mum is going to move in with a man until she sorts out her home and won't take her daughter with her

If you had listened to the advice on every thread you have ever posted on this matter then you would not even be CONSIDERING taking either of them in-she is not your responsibility and you know that but hey some people love the drama

I read your previous posts; don't be tempted...she is not your responsibility. And I hope to goodness you don't give in to your son either. They are clearly using the guilt trip card with you. Be strong and say no. You are not being a shitty person . It is your house, and they treated you abysmally. I don't think a second chance is in order.

thanks all .. just was a bit confused and worried about whether I'd be the one sending the girlfriend off to homeless.

I know the last thing that would healthy would be letting her move in again

Dear God. No.

I remember reading your previous threads and being revolted by the attitude your son and his girlfriend displayed towards you. Ungrateful, rude and abusive... I was horrified that you allowed it to go for so long and cheered you on when you chucked them out. But now this.

Has your son apologised for his behaviour? Does he plan to give you any form of rent? Do you think he will behave? Anyhow I wouldn't even entertain the idea of having him back let alone the girl. Sod her. And in your shoes I would tell her exactly that.

The son has already moved back in I would say.

You're bloody mad Creamola. This won't end well.

BlueBirdsNest, she wont be homeless. She will go to the homeless department and be housed with immediate effect. She may start off in a B&B but they will find her somewhere more perminent. She will be ok. Your son will be homeless though and wont be housed unless he is substance dependent. He is your concern, not the girl.

I was going to say it might be nice to let her stay for a bit, my MIL did the same for me when I was younger and it was a very big help. But realising the back-story here, I think you should just say no. In fact I wouldn't even let your son back to stay with you, unless there's been a massive apology and change in behaviour/attitude.

Can't they rent a flat together? They're adults and it should be their responsibility to sort out their own accommodation. Failing that, maybe the girlfriend has a friend who can let her have the sofa or some floor space? Or go to her father or another relative?

Not your problem, really.

Charge your son rent! He's an adult fgs. He can go and stay with daddykins if he doesn't like it. Although judging from your previous thread, your ex's paternal instincts only stretch as far as criticising you .

yes my son has apologised for his behaviour , and it was an apology I accepted.

He's not living here but if he does there is a clear cut ....you'll need to pay this in digs/rent and hoover/do the dishes etc

I just feel a bit 'soft' to be honest because even although I know she did my tits in I don't want anyone not having a home

You're a glutton for punishment, aren't you?

They won't be homeless.

If you want to help, point them in the direction of a letting agency, or if they don't have the funds for that then your local council's housing dept.

You already saved their bacon by not prosecuting for assault.

Tbh you are being more than a bit soft.

I can see this ending with them throwing you out...

So how long do you think it will take before she's staying overnight at yours? I give it 2 days. Max.

What part of "she wont be homeless" do you not understand?

When did he apologise? When he discovered he needed somewhere to live?

I need to leave this thread. It is pissing me off too much.

I agree with the poster who said some people just love the drama. I don't think you have listened or are listening to a single bloody thing that's been said to you on here - and you've had some cracking good advice. That being so please don't be surprised that when you start the inevitable next thread about these two feckless disrespectful wasters you'll get called on it.

Look, I can see you weakening again. Please desist immediately and keep reminding yourself of what happened when she did share your home. Plus, you are not responsible for her potential homelessness. That's her mother's doing and if anyone should take responsibility for someone over 18, then her mother should step up to the plate. Ultimately, the girl needs to sort herself out though. So, for the last time No. No. And a Thousand Times No.

I am listening to the advice.

Pardon me for expressing my true feelings eh.

What do you want me to say 'their little fucking bastards and they will never darken my doorstep again'

It's not gonna happen

I have a scenario I wanted to discuss as a grownup, and many posts here and before have been helpful and helped me in forming a view

There's a few though that are just trying to have a pop at me....all I can say to those posters is I hope you never encounter people as judgemental when you ever find yourself on here to ask a question

If she genuinely is going to be made homeless then the local authority have a statutary duty to house her even whilst they asses her suituation.
Again it is not your problem

How and why is it YOUR fault or responsibility that: (i) she is so awful you understandably don't want to live with her; and (ii) her own mother has let her down?

You seem to have a compulsion to put yourself at the centre of this drama. Please don't kid yourself it is because these two would be lost without you though. The two of them were pretty cunning playing you all that time-they will be fine left to their own devices. They should cough up for a room in a shared house like most kids their age.

No dont take her in i take it they are over 18 I don't want to speculate who you are but no she isnt your responsibility she is her mothers she won't be homeless she will have to sort herself out ,

Did you forget you had posted in AIBU op?

You don't have to swear, no. There is a middle ground between swearing at them, and taking an emotional and physical beating from them everytime your pandering to their whims is deemed insufficiently acquiescent.

You can let them take responsibility for themselves. They are grown ups. And you pay taxes so that those who are homeless get support from professionals.