Proposed home curfews/ travel bans for Mothers banning their ex's from seeing the children?

[WorraLiberty]

AIBU to think that the proposed amendments to the Children's Act is a bit strange when they're talking about 'Home Curfews' for Mothers who break court orders over contact?

How would this help?

I'm absolutely all for fairness and equal parenting but how will a Curfew help and I wonder how it would be Policed?

Link here

Unworkable reactionary Tory wank.

So instead of going after feckless absent parents who pay nothing for their children they're going after the resident parent who denies access? Wow they really don't like women having freedom do they? FFS! Is this Saudi Arabia? Why aren't they putting travel bans on parents who pay nothing for their children?

I too am all for equal parenting most definitely. But sometimes access is denied for a reason, usually because the non resident parent is abusive. God I absolutely fucking hate the Tories and their draconian view of women!

We stopped DSD's mum from having access as best we could we she was young as she was abusive. We couldn't stop it when she was a teenager though, and DSD would go stay there (but tell us she was at a friend's) so she could have boys sleep over, this was when she was 13! This was why we didn't want her to have access. She never paid a penny in maintenance either!

And why does it talk only of 'divorced' Mothers?

Surely it should simply say 'Parents who refuse'?

Why aren't they putting travel bans on parents who pay nothing for their children?

That's a very good point.

There are a few resident parents who withhold contact wrongly to punish the ex. But there are so many more resident parents who really want contact and the non-resident parent walks away. Plus, resident parents who limit contact to protect their dcs. It's just so wrong to take a scenario that applies to a minority and apply a "remedy" that makes things worse for everyone.

Burn the witches, eh?

I think they do need to come down hard on the arrogant resident parents who play God with contact and blackmail the NRP.

But this is far too 'blanket' in its remedy for me and probably quite unworkable.

Hmm, the link says "Divorced mothers who refuse to give their former husbands access to their children could be banned from travelling abroad, driving or even leaving their homes"
Ha ha when I was a single parent I had no chance of paying for a holiday abroad or driving lessons let alone a car. And I barely left the house without the dc except for work because babysitters were so expensive. So I can't see it as much of a deterrent anyway.

I am all for this, but then I have a witch-in-law.

She got my db arrested (false accusations)
He was ordered to stay away.
She moved new partner in (found out later the affair had been going on for a while)
Refused contact, made excuses to miss court dates to prolong keeping kids away., 6 months before he/we were able to see them.
DB gets kids every weekend and takes them extra now if allowed by her during holidays.
He pays CSA and provides majority of clothing/shoes etc. eg: 4 year old daughter came last week in a skirt that was 'hurting her', skirt was age 12-18mths, this happens with all three kids regularly.
It is now two years on, she has tortured all of us, made allegations, etc. and she contacted today, this made me laugh - she is going to take him to court to MAKE him take the kids more! She must have fucking alzheimers!!

Gosh did you see that their poll indicates that most people are in favour. Oh well, it is the Torygraph I suppose, but depressing.

A curfew would help because it woudo mean that the Parent with residency has to be at home when the parent without residency wants to visit. I think - at least I'm sure I heard that being said on the news last night.

I think it's a good idea as long as it is targeted correctly. The sad fact is that there are parents who deny their children access to the other parent out of nothing but spite, and that is clearly very wrong so something should be done about it.

The fact that there are feckless parents that don't want to see or pay for their children is irrelevant because it's a separate issue. Something should be done about that too, but the two things aren't mutually exclusive. They could try and do something about both problems.

This type of stuff all to often seems to be about the parents forgetting that the children are the key people in the middle of all the fighting.

Now of course a doting father shouldn't be stopped from seeing their children by a mother who is being a bitch to upset him but if it's a case where there are genuine concerns then they need to be taken into account. Sometimes a "meaningful" relationship with both parents just isn't possible

I hope they're going to apply the same punishments to fathers who don't show up for contact

Don't agree that absent parents who don't pay maintenance is a separate issue.

Clegg is quoted as saying: 'Both parents have a responsibility and a role to play in their children's upbringing and we want to make sure that, when parents separate, the law recognises that'.

The key word here is responsibility.

A caring resident parent will facilitate access, because it is in the best interests of the child, regardless of whether they get maintenance, but one can't mention responsibilities and take maintenance out of the equation.

Plus, the focus should be on the child, not the parents - so Clegg should really be saying 'every child has the right to both parents being involved etc'.

I agree that the focus should be on the child - obviously- but I think they are separate issues in that different measures have to be used to tackle each problem.

It is about responsibility, but a child shouldn't be denied the chance to see their parent if that parent won't pay, or had an affair or whatever. Any parent who stops the other parent having access is just as bad as any parent who doesn't pay.

Having been through the court system myself because I was wirhildibg contact, I am in favour of this in principle

Haven't read the link yet. Cafcass will surely be pushed further though? And they are already so overstretched

*withholding

Gosh did you see that their poll indicates that most people are in favour. Oh well, it is the Torygraph I suppose, but depressing

This issue has spawned one of the fastest growing campaign areas over the last decade or so, it is clearly unjust, and HMG is merely reacting to this.

I hope they're going to apply the same punishments to fathers who don't show up for contact

Or mothers...but yes, i agree - it would be nice to see some "official persuasion" being used for all defecting parents.

Where is the statistical information which supports all the statements made about this being a massive problem? I just can't find any - if anyone has them I'd be very interested to read them.

How do those numbers compare with the problem of parents who pay the bare minimum or nothing at all towards their children's upkeep, or walk out of their lives without a backward glance?

As far as I can see it's a purely cosmetic exercise. We all know that mothers usually get more contact after divorce because they are the main carers before divorce.

The right of children to maintain a meaningful relationship with a non-resident parent is already enshrined in law. It is never enforced when non-resident parents do not want contact with the children they have left.

How will this change anything?

What is stopping Mothers driving going to Achieve?

I would like to know the proposed advantages to this, through their eyes?

Well contact in contact centres, halfway meets or sharing transport etc simply can't happen easily if the driving licence is removed

I moved away after my divorce, and ended up being told that I HAD to bring the children back to visit their father because he said 'I'm not the one moving, so why should it be up to me to visit my children? I want them brought to me.' Because finances and contact are kept absolutely separate, all the judge would say was that he had to make a contribution to my travel expenses, which were upwards of £100 each visit. And you know what he said '£1 is a contribution'. And blow me, if he wasn't absolutely within his rights to do that!!! So when I had to say to him that I couldn't afford to get the children to him, he just started quoting the law at me. The only time I was tempted to deny contact was because I couldn't afford to keep to my side of the order. If a judge had kept me at home, XH would have had to come and collect his children, and I wouldn't now be in debt. Bring it on!

surely they need to be convicted of a crime before you can impose such curfews?

and I think feckless nrp are a bigger problem volume wise than spiteful withholding of contact - surely tackle the bigger problem 1st!

Yes i know there are some mothers who deny their children their father but this new 'law' wont work. It will be like punishing the children.

What about all those absent fathers who dont see or support their children financially. When do they get punished.
In conversation with my 8yr old i ended up mentioning fathers day. Her reaction was 'I hate my dad'. My reply was 'Thats understandable'.
He has dont nothing but muck her around for years. He sees her when he feels like it and in the end i decided that the only thing for it was to put a stop to the little contact they had. I feel that this was the best decision for my child not for me.
Does this mean that i am going to end up slapped with a curfew coz one day her 'father' decides that he wants to see her again. And then ignore her 2 weeks later as normal.

I dont drive, dont have a passport and hardly go out after 6pm (as my child is in her bed) so what are the government going to do with me. Throw me in jail?? where will my daughter end up then. Scared for life probably.