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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have suggested to this mother she requested a side room for her to sit with her son at ante-natal clinic?

58 replies

ontheedgeofwhatever · 11/06/2012 21:59

Because her son had chicken pox? I was very polite and said I was sorry but didn't really want to be exposed to chicken pox while pregnant and because it can be dangerous for pregnant women it may be a good idea to try to ask for a side room while waiting. Her son was 5 or 6 and covered in spots. We were at a very crowded hospital ante-natal clinic.

She completely lost her temper with me and I should be the one to ask for a side room if I was going to discriminate and her son had every right to be there. Thankfully a midwife realised what was going on and took them off somewhere but now I'm wondering if I was over stepping the mark and should just have moved away.

I think now I'd have been better to mention it to a member of staff and keep my gob shut

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 11/06/2012 22:24

YANBU but if you've had chickenpox yourself you should be immune and it's very unlikely that you would catch it again. HappyCamel, I'm not sure what you are saying is correct. I don't think the baby is at risk if you are immune.

OTTMummA · 11/06/2012 22:27

Some people are not immune from chicken pox even if they have had it before, I have had it 5 times and shingles twice.

CharltonHairstyle · 11/06/2012 22:30

YANBU - but I would of moved myself or asked the receptionist for a room to wait in to avoid this sort of confrontation.

Anything for an easy life Grin

ReallyTired · 11/06/2012 22:30

I suppose that pregnancy hormones have gone mad. Ofcourse a child with chickenpox should not attend an ante natal clinic.

Prehaps this woman has a serious problem with her pregnancy and its vital that she gets to the ante natal appointment. Certainly ante natal appointments in the later stages of pregnancy can save lives.

I feel that the mother should have phoned before hand explaining the situation. If necessary the midwife should visit her in a home to minimise infection. Prehaps a home visit had already been refused. Who knows?

bumbleymummy · 11/06/2012 22:33

That is quite unusual though OTT. Most people are immune to CP after they've had it once but obviously there's no way of knowing who is/is not immune in a waiting room so they should have been kept separate.

Northernlurker · 11/06/2012 22:39

Ahh - she confirmed it was CP? In that case I agree an infectious child with CP should not be in a hospital waiting room.

Rabbitee · 11/06/2012 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EmmaCate · 11/06/2012 22:46

'Discriminate' - I'm sorry, but stupid f-ing bint leaps to mind. YANBU; she would possibly have had a point if you were the only pregnant woman in the place but that's it.

I agree though you could have got the staff to deal with it - but if she had twigged it may have been worse; her POV may then have been you were not deigning to talk to her.

Pochemuchka · 11/06/2012 22:47

Argh! Hope you're not right, Happycamel as both my two have had/have chicken pox now and I am about 11-12 weeks pregnant. I thought it'd be fine as I've had it and doctors/midwives seemed unconcerned when I told them.
Am all worried now! Confused

SarahStrattonIsBack · 11/06/2012 22:57

Really? People would get arsey if asked about CP when it's something else.

Both DDs suffer very badly from urticaria, and I mean very badly. I've been asked more than once if they've got CP, and it wouldn't occur to me to be offended. I just explain what it really is. Hmm

edam · 11/06/2012 22:58

You were right, woman was wrong to bring a child with CP to an antenatal clinic and should not have been aggressive. Maybe - being charitable - she was under a lot of stress and didn't realise that it's a serious risk. Staff should have noticed but you say the clinic was crowded so maybe they missed it.

Bagofholly · 12/06/2012 00:03

Goodness me, some people are so thick. With the exception of a NICU and an oncology unit I'm struggling to think of a more stupid place to take a CP child. I hope this woman got the education and kick up the arse she so richly deserved.

Doomfinger · 12/06/2012 00:04

bumbleymummy - whether or not the mother is immune, the baby is not. When a virus you're immune to is circulating, your system doesn't stop it entering your body, it fights it off INSIDE your body, so the virus can get to the baby even without the mother showing symptoms. As higgle has sadly pointed out, CP can cause the baby to miscarry - that's CP in the baby, not the mother - if the baby doesn't miscarry it can still be affected by the virus in other ways which obviously you don't want a developing baby being affected by anything.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/06/2012 00:12

yanbu. That strikes the fear into me! I have never had chicken pox and was terrified of that kind of situation when pregnant!

bogeyface · 12/06/2012 00:36

It has always been one of the first things said to me when my kids have been diagnosed with CP, to not go near pg women.

Having said that, it does make me wonder whether she had a major problem in her pregnancy that sent her over the edge. Her thoughtlessness and reaction may be due to that.

I would be questionng why, if it was so obvious that the OP spotted it, that the staff that booked her in didnt ask her and seperate them though.

CouthyMow · 12/06/2012 00:45

Some people are not immune no matter how many times they get CP. My baby was SB at 6 months due to CP (story on here many times but under an old name). Purely because some selfish woman took two infectious toddlers to the supermarket.

And even people who are generally immune can become susceptible to it when on certain medications, like my DS2, who gets immune suppressed through strong asthma meds a few times a year.

Krumbum · 12/06/2012 01:41

No Yanbu. If people are sick they should stay at home. It's so selfish to just think its fine to infect other people. This really bothers me.

cfc · 12/06/2012 01:51

We have the pox, check out the time people! My boy had it and I knew from the serious dose he gotthe'girl'woud get it too. U til these spots scab over, we ain't going anywhere. I'm 18 weeks PG but immune. Why would I take her out and risk any immuno-deficient person catching it, never mind a PG lady.

It made for a dull two weeks waiting for her to get it from the boy, ESP trying to stay away from crowded places in the rain!

A bit of thought for others goes a long way in this world.

If however he was all scabbed over then he was the safest to be around!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 12/06/2012 07:14

poche talk to your MW. I believe doom is incorrect in claiming that even an immune pregnant woman will pass a virus to her baby. If that were the case why were we all immunized against rubella?

Issue might be though that even having had varicella/chicken pox one might not be immune, and therefore neither will the baby be.

McKayz · 12/06/2012 07:20

Happycamel I am quite sure you are wrong. My boys have recently had chicken pox and I am 38+5. Midwife and doctors said there was no way for it to affect my baby unless I gave birth while they were contagious and baby caught it.

They weren't bothered at all and said the baby was perfectly safe as I have had chicken pox

HappyCamel · 12/06/2012 07:34

At 38 weeks you'd be fine, the baby is just growing not still developing, the danger is really in the first trimester. There are enough medics in my family and they all told me the same thing when my friend's child had it.

bumbleymummy · 12/06/2012 07:35

Doom finger, I really think you're wrong. Have a look on the NHS website here. Apparently it's fine as long as you're immune. I've checked a few other health websites and they say the same thing. I would imagine that your antibodies protect the baby - as they do for most illnesses when you are pregnant. (think rubella immunity for example.)

HappyCamel · 12/06/2012 07:36

The point is even if you have the antibodies to fight it off because you've had exposure before they still need a bit of time to work.

bumbleymummy · 12/06/2012 07:40

Happy camel, I think you've been given incorrect information. Nothing I have read supports what you and doom finger are saying. if you've been exposed to CP when you're pregnant and you aren't sure whether you've had it the first thing doctors will do is check to see if you are immune because if you are, it is not a danger.

McKayz · 12/06/2012 07:43

The advice was exactly the same for my sister who was 10 weeks when my niece got CP. She'd had CP as a child and was told it was fine.