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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at this reason for not coming to dds christening?

30 replies

amieis · 10/06/2012 17:54

My mom and dad live in spain, so we very rarely get to see them except for big family events. I rang my mom to let her know we'd arranged a date t get our dd christened and she said "we can't come because I'm worried we'll loose the cat" apparently he didn't come home for 3days after the last time they came home to the uk.
AIBU to be really annoyed with her for that as a reason to not come?

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 10/06/2012 17:56

Hard to say if YABU, is there any other reason why they might nt want to come or is that it?

Frontpaw · 10/06/2012 17:58

Can't they bring Mr Puss?

Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 17:59

That's the only reason she gave me!

OP posts:
Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 18:02

It would cost them a small fortune to fly him back frontpaw and if kitty came home for a visit then the dog would have to aswell

OP posts:
Frontpaw · 10/06/2012 18:03

Who looks after Mr Woof? Can Mr Puss go to a cattery?

AnyoneForTennis · 10/06/2012 18:03

So who looks after the dog?

Tbh, it's a christening. It's nothing 'big' really. And is likely to cost them a small fortune

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 10/06/2012 18:03

If its just about the cat, YANBU IMO, I hate cats.

But maybe to them they are genuinely worried that coming to the Christening might mean losing their beloved cat forever. So I can understand why they would be reluctant to leave their pet if there is a real chance that could happen.

Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 18:11

They are friends with a couple who also have pets, so they take it in turns to llook after each others animals when either couple returns to the uk.
anyonefortennis it would realistically only cost them a flight as they usually stay with myself or one of my siblings when they come back.
The cat has always been a roamer and when they lived in the uk he would go walkies for up to a week at a time and would then get bored and come home.
A christening is quite a big occasion to a catholic family, and it just seems like a really crap reason not to come as she is their first granddaughter, and my dads first grandchild.

OP posts:
sparkybabe · 10/06/2012 18:13

Surely it'snot just a christening, it's a chance to see their new Granddaughter, and see the rest of the family.

Unless you are in U.S. amieis (assuming from your use of 'mom') SPain is not expensive to get from - what, less than £100 return each? (prob not even that if they had plenty of notice) It's the price for living in the sunshine!

AnAirOfHope · 10/06/2012 18:18

Could one of your friends house sit for them for a night so they could come to christening? And not let the cat out!

BeingBooyhoo · 10/06/2012 18:21

on first reading of it i say YANBU. it's a crap reason.

but thinking it through i am wondering if there is more story to this? are they normally devoted parents/grandpatrents? is this out of character or is this typical of them? as they are your parents i'm sure you know how much or little importance they place on their pets. as much as it sounds like a shit reason to me, i am not in your family and i would be surprised if this was a bolt out of the blue for you. surely you know them well enough to know if a stay away from home was something they would be happy doing.

DizzyKipper · 10/06/2012 18:23

As you say they're catholic and that a christening should be quite a big deal to them, along with the cat's history of roaming and being away for days at a time anyway, I'd suspect there's more to this than they're telling and it's not about the cat at all. I don't think you're being unreasonable under that consideration.

DizzyKipper · 10/06/2012 18:25

I would add though that as a non-religious and very animal orientated person I would've personally prioritised retaining the cat over attending a christening. but then I'm not Catholic and my cat doesn't disappear for days at a time.

Youvebeentangoed · 10/06/2012 18:28

It isn't "just a Christening", it is an opportunity to see their Children/Grandchildren. What are they going to do, refuse to ever visit in fear of losing the cat?

I would seriously not be impressed. But I do think that it is a cover for something else...

Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 18:29

I live in the uk sparky so its not as though its an epic distance to travel.
Maybe I am being irrationally angry, but it just seems a bit random. My mom was more than happy to drop everything and fly back for a week to give my stepbrother a metaphorical kick up the arse as she puts it (he's an entire other thread!!!!) And she says everytime we speak how sad she is that dd will never know her properly as she will never really see them.

OP posts:
susiedaisy · 10/06/2012 18:31

Is the cat elderly? have they had a falling out with friends that would normally look after the cat?? How old are your parents? All depends really, it will be a shame if they aren't there but there may be more to it like others have said

ClaireBunting · 10/06/2012 18:35

Any chance that your parents are Catholic and you are having a Protestant baptism.

I know that my RC in laws are very cold on CofE baptisms. We have managed to trick them into attending once, but another time when they were staying with us, they went to RC mass instead of coming to our baptism. Not sure what they thought would happen to the poor child.

Proudnscary · 10/06/2012 18:39

Are they a bit weird generally?

Or is there a huge, long drip-feedy back story to all of this?

StepOutOfSpring · 10/06/2012 18:39

YANBU. A Christening is a once in a lifetime family occasion. Can't they put the cat in a cattery? I mean, it's just a cat!

Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 18:42

susie the cat is about 10 I think and my parents are in their 60's.
claire we are having a catholic baptism ans both mine and dp's family are cathoilc

OP posts:
ClaireBunting · 10/06/2012 18:45

Are your parents "old". I know that when my DM was in the early stages of Alzheimer's (undiagnosed) she came up with all sorts of excuses for not changing her routine.

Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 18:50

No drip-feedyness proud .... Totally out of the blue. The last I knew they were coming (back in april) and when I rang to confirm the date with them earlier that was the reason I was given!

OP posts:
Original poster
amieis · 10/06/2012 18:54

Not particularly old... Mom is 63 and dad is 65!

OP posts:
ariadne1 · 10/06/2012 18:58

I think it's along way to expect them to come for a christening.For a wedding or a funeral of close family i think is different, but a christening isn't taht big a deal.

travellingwilbury · 10/06/2012 18:58

It does sound like they won't be able to come over till the cat dies then which is a bit rubbish .

I would be pissed off , do you go and see them at all ?

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