In taking my bag back from a lady who walked off with it?

[Lorimar]

In a busy leisure type place today, DS was fiddling with a sweetie machine which had swallowed our money. DM goes off to find staff to sort it out, I turned for literally 15 seconds and my bag, which was on the floor next to the machine disappeared. Cue frantic searching, DF accusing me of having left it somewhere else and finally, DM spotting a lady right at the end of the place holding it.

I rushed over, grabbed it from her hand and said 'I'll have that back please'. She didn't want to let go so I gave a little tug and it came free. I said thank you and walked back to where my family was standing, but she followed me over and said that she had thought it was her DMs bag. Her DM did have a bag, but it was very much smaller than mine and a completely different colour. My DF told me to apologise as she'd made a mistake and mistakes can happen (his words), and she was quite intimidating, so I did, but she just gave me a mouthful and said she'd have left straight away if she'd intended to steal it.

We left and they followed us out (so they must have been ready to leave when she took it), walking behind us and being quite intimidating again.

Did I react wrongly in assuming when was thieving it? My gut instinct is that she was and had already made up her story in case the owner (me) found it before she left.

I'd have done the same as you, except I wouldn't have apologised. You can't just go picking random bags up :/

agree, you did the right thing

I think you're completely right,ignore the intimidating woman. She should have apologise to you.

She took your bag and you apologised? WTF?

It doesn't matter whether she meant to steal it or it was a mistake - it was still her error and she should have been apologising to you. Your dad made you apologise to this cow and you did

I think you were spot on. She's a thief, she got caught, she responded with attack as defense.

Oh yes, I bet she was nicking it. I can't believe you apologised! Fiance or father?

Either way - told you to apologise?

Fuck that!

Oh and I would be contacting the venue that you were at - they may have cctv, and it may not be the first time she has done something like this.

I think you were right, your bag was right next to you, if she thought it was her mothers she should have asked before picking it up. She has a lot of front. You shouldn't have felt that you had to apologise, it should have been her.

Well, you could have gone in calm and suggested that she had mistakenly picked up your bag, but that may have made her turn and run, since you didn't have your hand on it. I think I'd have done the same tbh.

DF is right, mistakes happen, but really, if I'd have honestly made a mistake like that, I'd have been mortified that you thought I nicked it!

YANBU.

I can't get over a grown woman being told to apologise.

I'd be more mad about that than the would-be bag nicker.

Unless you reported her or something I don't see how being a rude bitch to her VS proceding with caution achieves anything.

I think my Dad was hoping it would diffuse the situation if I said sorry.

I wouldn't have apologised for her 'mistake'. I reckon she was an opportunistic thief who got caught.

Any ordinary person who had made a genuine mistake would have apologised to you. I'd have mentioned getting the police/management involved and seen how fast she shifted then.

I assume because of her aggressive nature that in fact she was trying to steal it

for you being told by your dad to apologise - he should have backed you up.

I would have confronted the woman too. Maybe she did make a mistake but she was the one who should have apologised.

I'd be mortified if I took someone else's bag by mistake.

I think she was trying to steal it and was caught out which is why she got aggressive. If anything she should have apologised to you!

Thriving cow. I'd have called the police.

I would let the leisure place know with a description of the woman/family. Its possible they have had a spate of thefts and this may help.

If she was stealing it, it is unlikely it was the first time (especially if she had a 'story' ready when you stopped her). You can always say you are unsure if she was guilty but thought it was worth letting them know.

I would have hit her over the head with the bag (so long as there wasn't anything breakable in it). The thing is, if this happened to me and i picked someones bag up by mistake i would be falling over myself to apologise - she had clearly half inched it and was trying not to be suspicious. An alternative to common assault though would have been to call the police

If she'd intended to steal it, surely she'd have been long gone not standing where you could find her still holding it? If so, she's the worst thief in the world!

I think it probably was a mistake on her part, but I don't blame you for reacting the way you did.

A thief that runs away is one that get caught. Most thieves I've come across would probably try to remain casual, and would not necessarily try to get away immediately as it draws attention to them.

I also think this woman was trying to steal your bag and you caught her in time.

Hmmm......

In my opinion if it was a mistake she'd have been mortified and apologised.

The aggression shows her guilt.

If I'd mistakenly taken someone's bag thinking it was my dms I would be utterly mortified and have apologised to you not the other way round. I certainly wouldn't have been aggressive and intimidating to that person,
Her reaction was all wrong IMO .
You had nothing to apologise for, it's probable that she was a thief and her reaction was designed to put you on the back foot.

Yup! she was trying to have your bag !

Good job you spotted her in time!