Wedding cake crash + SIL

[toomuchribbon]

We are getting married in 3 weeks. My DP's brother-in-law's sister has a fledgling cake-making business (with a different day job).

She offered to make our wedding cake. Based on the two children's cakes we've seen, and the good things we heard from her brother, we said yes.

We met her, agreed a simple design. She had no photos of work, or reference photos from magazines, let alone cake samples to try etc - but I thought fine, she's just getting started and is going through a difficult time with her day job concurrently.

She took 4 weeks to send a quote, which is a standard price, not discounted. This is fine. But - she never replies to the few, simple, emails sent; for instance, our florist needed some details - she ignored it.
We asked for a pink-coloured sponge (god this is sounding pathetic) that's revealed when the cake is cut and she said she would try it and let us know as she had never done it before.
She never did let us know and I asked politely, nicely, twice, a few weeks later if she had managed to do so, which she has ignored.

I have even asked for photos for a friend who is looking for cakes for a wedding and a retirement; she won't send photos.

She has now emailed overnight to say that if we want to look for another quote that's "the normal thing to do" and she would understand, and that she is going away on holiday so can't send photos for my friend now. And still no mention of the damn pink sponge.

It was a leap of faith in the first place to take her on for the cake but I felt she deserved the trust - and how hard could the cake be etc. Now we are left three weeks before the wedding with no cake and yet another thing to organise. My DP thinks she has freaked out and realised she can't do it but won't say so. I don't know what the reason and in a way don't care, but I am pretty furious.

Of course I am sure we'll sort something out but AIBU to feel that I am right, to be pretty peeved at her and to go forth and find someone else for the cake? Of course there are family politics involved but I feel her behaviour negates usual loyalties - and we don't have much choice.

I can make great dalek cakes guided by a Valerie Singleton black and white video, if you would like me to help?

def do not use her. she can't do it - it's beyond her and she doesn't want to say it. she's HOPING you'll go somewhere else. everything she has done points to the fact that she doesn't want the work but she feels she shouldn't turn it down.

Back to cake wreck website ... I have seen the dead baby cake wreck before ... but not where the expectant mother cut the first slice.

Don't lose sleep over it, definitely send her an email ASAP saying "No problem we'll make other arrangements" and then go elsewhere. A plain cake from Waitrose or M&S with some flowers could look very elegant

She'll struggle to develop a business if she's so unprofessional with her first customers.

Not sure where you are Toomuchribbon, but I have a lot of cakey facebook friends as it is a obsession hobby of mine. Where are you and I will see if I can find someone near you? With loads of pics too.

You can order them online from marksies for delivery the few days before the day. They have a great selection online (even a full-on bonafide Stilton one!) and you can mix and match the layers. I was shocked she didn't just charge you costs tbh- surely new start ups like her would relish the chance to get a few pics of her work for her cake portfolio?

Pink cake isn't as easy as all that because when you add red food colouring it will usually go orange.

Not defending her she's clearly a PITA

M&S cakes taste good, look good and cost (a little bit) less than professional cakes.

Enjoy your day

it comes out a more salmon pink really.

Toomuch - where are you? I am happy to help if you are in my area, pics of my cakes on profile. Also with colour gels pink cake isn't too hard to manage I have just done DD2's in pink and orange.

We also had an M&S cake. I wasn't planning on having a wedding cake at all, but my parents (who otherwise stayed out of my wedding planning) we really disappointed as they love cake, so they offered to buy one. As this was 2 weeks before the wedding, M&S was pretty much the only option that we could get in time. We decorated the plain white cake with ribbons and flowers and I think it looked lovely.

I'd get to M&S pronto as well, either that or Waitrose!

I used to make wedding cakes for a living (just do it as a hobby/for friends now) and I'd say she's agreed to do something far beyond her ability and is now panicing at the thought of having to actually produce something

If you want a pink sponge, get the Betty Crocker "white cake" mix, and add pink/red food colouring to it.

For our wedding, we were on a budget, and we spent about £80 on ready iced cakes from M & S, and then went to a cake decorating shop to buy the decorations to put the finishing touches to it with our themed colours. It was fine.

Yes get another cake sorted asap.
Email and tell her.
Then do not recommend her to anyone.
I think it is awful what she has done but try not to stress over it.

Gel food colours in a basic vanilla sponge works. Liquid food colour turns it more of a salmon pink / orangey pink.

Blueberryboybait I couldn't resist a peek, they are gorgeous!!

My wedding cake was from Waitrose. It was really really nice. We were really pleased with it and it was about £50 maybe a bit less.

Yanbu at all-she offered to make your cake, you are paying normal prices so you are entitled to expect to know what is happening with said cake.
I would phone her, ask how far she has got with what she is planning on making and if the news are not to your liking get a simple 3 tier cake from a supermarket and decorate it with whatever is to your taste.
When my sil got married, she got a family member to make her cake and charged her just over £150 for 30 cupcakes & a small loaf cake!!!-i had one at the wedding and to be fair they were not very moist nor were they as proffessional as expected, they had cut out flowers on-they wern't even handmade-so the money she paid was a lot for what she ended up with.
Family & money never mix well

YANBU

I had cakes from Marks, a fruit layer and a sponge layer, I don't like fruit. I also got a chocolate cake for the children.

I decorated the cakes with marabou feathers, and the tables. Very simple, very effective, very cheap.

You could also try a website called caketoppers.co.uk, I've ordered fabulous personalised cakes from them and they do an overnight service. Ok, so you don't want a personlaised cake but the overnight service might be handy if you are stuck, and they do lots of other options as well. Cakes were fab, delicious.

My step MIL offered to make the cake and we agreed on lots of iced cup cakes on a tiered cake stand (i know, done to death now, but it was a while ago). She loved the idea because she said it was a lot easier than making a three tiered cake and she could make extras to transport - small wedding so it wasnt like she had to make hundreds. Every time we spoke she had new ideas or sent me clips from magazines.

Three days before the wedding she told us that she wouldnt be doing it as she had a headache. We live in London and just called up Patisserie Valerie who did us the most amazing chocolate covered profiterole cake that looked astonishing and wasnt expensive. M&S sounds a great idea though.

Mind you my MIL also spent a large chunk of the wedding ceremony on the phone to her sister, rather loudly until my DH requested her politely to switch the phone off or leave, so I guess its a very different situation.

YANBU - I think it has dawned on her what a huge undertaking it is for a new cake maker, but is scared to tell you and let you down.

My sister was supposed to organise my cake as a wedding gift (she offered)
but she wanted to make it. I didn't think she would have time to do it - 3 teir fruit cake - as she had a very young DD (as did I) to look after. 2 weeks before the wedding she agreed she wouldn't have time and bought it from Tescos. Which was fine by me, the cake was lush. But she then decided that she would not be adding to it a week before the wedding. (as in no topper as she had previously said she would) So I had a last minute dash to sort ribbon and a topper.

My Friend had a similar issue, 3 days before her wedding her sister decided not to make the cake any more, and wouldn't have time to sort anything else out for the bride. The bride hunted through a phone book and rang every cake shop in the surrounding area. Luckily a shop knew 3 cake decorators who worked free lance and they made it between them just in time.

Family and weddings don't mix!
Get to Tesco/Asda/ M and S, and if anyone says anything say "It was this or no cake! Stick a slice in your cake hole and take your issues out with SIL"
but I am mean

YANBU. My friend let me down 24 hours before my engagement with the cake. Really annoyed me and I didn't buy a crumb from her fledgling business which didn't last long. Some people are reliable and make a go of their businesses, some are not.

We had a fantastic locally made cake for our engagement and a lovely M & S one for our wedding.

I wouldn't give her any sympathy whatsoever btw, and I wouldn't say anything like "no problem" - she has caused a problem!

I'm another one who'd recommend a trip to M & S. Their cakes are lovely and you can always add ribbons/flowers or suchlike if you want to personalise it.

I suspect that the cake maker has suffered a case of enthusiasm -v- capability although I fail to see how she's ever going to run a successful business if she doesn't provide pictures or answer emails. I fear that she might well be advised to stick to the day job.

Don't be bothered about family ishoos resulting. Nobody should expect you to take a punt on an unseen cake made by anyone who is unable to answer basic queries and who now suggests you get a quote from elsewhere. You've been patient enough already.

I also fear that if you persist you'll end up with a version of this. Except the wording will be "put plenty of pink on it"...

www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/12/8/finally-a-baker-who-gives-a-crap.html