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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just had a go at a door to door charity person?

51 replies

BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/06/2012 19:59

he rang the doorbell long and loud and we've just put our kids to bed so I bit his head off. I feel a bit guilty but.....

What makes charities think it's ok to cold call like this, asking for people's money? I told him we already give to charities (which is true!) and actually I'm ignoring calls from one of the ones I support, who keep ringing asking for more money!

Am I completely unreasonable cow?

OP posts:
EverybodysSleepyEyed · 07/06/2012 20:22

This was at the door!

I just said 'no thank you' and closed the door. and made a mental note not to vote for their candidate!!

TidyDancer · 07/06/2012 20:22

I don't like people knocking on my door for charity donations or sales, but I wouldn't be rude to them. Simply saying 'no' would be perfectly okay.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 07/06/2012 20:22

Most chuggers are young people who don't necessarily know it's kids' bedtimes, FFS. And I'm guessing they're not psychic either.

emsyj · 07/06/2012 20:23

"emsyj there could also be someone behind the door who wants to support the charity...

I wouldn't shout at a caller - whether it's double glazing, politicians, dodgy duster sellers... a polite 'No.' is quite enough. There's no need to shout."

Um, well, if the someone behind the door wants to support the charity then they are quite at liberty to contact them to set up a donation on a one-off or regular basis surely? There's no 'need' for doorstep calling - and it annoys an awful lot of people, hence I think it should be outlawed.

I am normally reasonably polite with unsolicited callers, however it is my home and my property and I will speak as I wish to anyone who rings my doorbell uninvited. That may or may not include shouting, depends on my mood and how pushy/rude they are!

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 07/06/2012 20:23

I couldn't care less about chuggers. But the local Rotary Club come round at Xmas collecting money and they're all dressed as Elves. It gives me the heebie jeebies and I hide.

McKayz · 07/06/2012 20:23

Blackholes Do you live near me? I have just had the same thing. It was one of those really loud important sounding knocks. I was in my PJs and bouncing on a birthing ball. Not exactly answering the door attire.

Plus he woke up the boys and sent the dog into a frenzy.

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 07/06/2012 20:25

Apparently chuggers find the term 'chugger' offensive

They are all carefully trained and managed before they are let onto the streets - so it is really the training manager who is at fault for not briefing them properly.

And re a note saying not to ring after a certain time - I should imagine it would be ignored just as the 'no junk' is (don't get me started on the amount of leaflets we get - DD (23m) leaps up to check the 'postman' and comes back all disappointed saying 'bin' and puts it in for me now!!)

tkband3 · 07/06/2012 20:26

I hate it when charity people ring the doorbell at any time, but particularly in the evening either as I'm doing bedtime or just after the DDs have gone to sleep. I used to tell them, quite politely, that I don't agree with this form of 'chugging', however since the British Red Cross volunteer who stood on my doorstep shouting at me when I told him this, I just simply say no and shut the door on them. I can't understand why charities persist with this kind of fundraising - surely the number of people it annoys and thereby stops from donating to them far outweighs anything they manage to raise?

Firawla · 07/06/2012 20:26

yanbu!

i had someone ring the doorbell at 7.30 just as i was getting my youngest to sleep, and i thought it was a cold caller cos we do get a lot of them so i was ready to have a go at them, but it was a parcel delivery guy so i just took the parcel and said thanks. still dont think it is a great time for them to be delivering though but atleast it was something i wanted

cold callers i dont really mind during daytime, its no hardship to answer the door and see what they want but during bedtimes its really disruptive

ChasedByBees · 07/06/2012 20:32

I had just finished feeding my 8w old DD who was sleeping on my shoulder so I didn't answer the door to a charity caller. He actually came to my living room window and started his sales pitch through the closed window. I pointed my my baby and shook my head and he continued. I just shook my head again. DD is now 5m and still wish I had loudly told him to piss off - it would have been worth waking DD for! maybe

hugglymugly · 07/06/2012 20:36

DH and I can usually spot the chuggers (and the god-botherers) as they go up or down the road, so we usually just ignore them when they ring the doorbell.

Occasionally, one of us misses the obvious signs and opens the door. I'm usually wearing my reading glasses so I slip them down my nose and peer over them, which appears to scare most people. Probably because I've adopted the MN mantra of "No is a complete sentence."

My husband, on the other hand, tells chuggers that he's already sorted out his charitable giving via Gift Aid. Yes, he knows full well that doesn't make sense, and, no, the chuggers don't.

Unfortunately, BlackholesAndRevelations, your response won't stop that particular chugger or any other. They're paid to knock on people's doors, and the charity concerned probably has a good idea of the likely percentage of successes for your particular area. So the chuggers will keep on knocking on doors until they've reached their target.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 07/06/2012 20:36

I don't like this at all. It's bad enough when they bother you in the high street, but knocking on my door feels very intrusive. Last week we had one, looked out into the street and there seemed to be several of them going up the road taking a house each. I politely declined - but didn't like the feeling that I had to justify myself for doing so "we already give to charity" etc. - because he was knocking on my door and it's none of his business, really.

MrsTrellisOfSouthWales · 07/06/2012 20:38

We have a sign saying fuck off we don't buy at the door and no cold callers, canvassers, trick or treaters, charity callers - not that many pay any attention. Mostly it's people who have been asked to share some information with the neighbourhood or some other shite made up story.

Anyone that knocks on the door repeatedly when the curtains are closed and lights off needs talking to.

CarnivorousPanda · 07/06/2012 20:45

Last week we had a caller from BHF come knocking at half 9 in the evening.

Teenage DS answered the door and told her it was too late to call...........

Gentleness · 07/06/2012 20:48

"Most chuggers are young people who don't necessarily know it's kids' bedtimes, FFS. And I'm guessing they're not psychic either."

Really? Young people don't know when kids go to bed? Then clearly we need to educate them. It is practically a responsibility. We should not shirk.

On another tangent, I was particularly worried when a young girl, pretty, charming etc knocked on my door at 8.45pm one early spring, dark evening. I actually walked out of the house and looked up and down the road to see if there was anyone with her and there was someone possibly doing the same job right at the top of the road. I didn't shout at her but explained earnestly that I was worried for her safety, knocking on strangers' doors in the dark on her own. Either she wasn't trained, wasn't listening or wasn't brimming with common sense. She thought I was mad but was far too nice to say so.

McKayz · 07/06/2012 20:52

Also what are we meant to do when we have got signs up? I have a sign that says 'No cold callers, charity callers, religious callers' etc but they all still knock and claim they can't see the sign despite it being right under the knocker they've just used.

uggbug · 07/06/2012 21:15

You have to print out the Money Saving Expert Cold Callers sign and stick it up (linked to earlier in the thread). I have just done it a few days ago and it gives me pleasure every time I look at it ('We won't buy from you! We don't need any advice!). So incredibly sarky.

If someone still rings the doorbell just open the door and point at the sign. Love it.

Rindercella · 07/06/2012 21:46

Blackholes YANBU. And am incredulous that "BumpingFuglies" thinks the solution to cold callers is to just not have doorbells!! Yeah okay, that'll fix it then Hmm

I feel really uncomfortable with charities thinking it is okay to cold call, either on the doorstep or over the phone. I have had an email exchange with the CEO of a children's charity after one of their representatives phoned me one evening. I explained - very nicely - that I wasn't interested as I already donate to my chosen charities (including them, funnily enough). She kept pushing, explaining it was for children. I explained that my husband had died recently and my two very young children were my primary concern. This woman nearly screamed at me, "but don't you realise babies are dying". I was in tears and put the phone down in the end (am quite a strong character normally).

It is outrageous that such tactics are employed. At least if someone tries to sell you double glazing/a new kitchen/solar panels they don't put you on a guilt trip about babies dying.

Dawndonna · 07/06/2012 21:52

A polite 'No' isn't always enough. I had one caller doing a survey, I tried the polite 'No', she then said 'Oh come on it'll only take a minute'. I then told her that I'd only opened the door because I thought it was the ambulance I'd called and she continued to say it would only take a sec and from the looks of me, I was obviously okay. She went a funny shade of green when I showed her what was happening behind the door.
A polite 'No' should be enough and staff should be trained to accept a polite No.

Empusa · 07/06/2012 23:40

"I do not think people should have the right to knock on other people's doors asking for their money. I really don't."

Totally agree.

As for not having doorbells, two points.
1 - what about people we have invited? Or parcels we have asked for?
2 - you think if there's no doorbell they wont hammer knock on the door?

Empusa · 07/06/2012 23:41

dawndonna That's awful!

SiSiTD · 07/06/2012 23:43

No YADNBU.

I can't stand them. They are intrusive and quite often rude. I hate them calling and disturbing me, I would go mental if they woke a child.

We live in a student house and I've ended up putting a sign that says 'We do not answer the door to people we are not expecting, including charities and other callers asking for money on the door step.'

We got to the end of our tether after the numerous calls - 8 from the same charity, different people, in 2 days.

I fondly remember having harsh words with one 'gentleman' that rang three times, then proceeded to look through the lounge window and my house mate and I have a glass off wine.

He knocked on the window and gestured to the door. I opened the window and said 'before you even start we are students and will not donate on the doorstep' he responded with 'if you can afford a bottle of wine you can afford to donate to charity'.

I told him to hang on a minute and went to grab a leaflet for one of the charities I donate for handed it to him and said 'well, seeing as we're on the topic, if you can afford those nike hi-tops and levi jeans you can afford to donate to this charity' he went white as a sheet, didn't respond and just walked off.

LucieMay · 07/06/2012 23:43

YANBU, I'm on my own with DS at night and get a bit frightened when the door bell rings unexpectedly. I live on a main road and our area seems to attract this type!

yellowraincoat · 07/06/2012 23:43

I never get charity knockers, but I work in central London on a touristy street and there are about 50000 chuggers who bug me every day and then get shirty if I don't lickarse them.

yr: sorry, I'm busy.
chugger: well thank you SOOOO much for your time.

I mean, just piss off, you can't be sarcastic to me, I already give to charity, I am skint anyway, I told you I was sorry, I have 15 minutes to get my lunch.

They are RUDE.

Empusa · 07/06/2012 23:49

We used to donate by direct debit to one charity, but had to stop because our financial situation changed. We now get a phone call every other week to try and get us to donate again, despite us pointing out we are totally capable of setting up the direct debit again when our situation improves. The last one said to DH, "You know us calling you has cost the charity £xxxxxx? We need your donations!"

So DH pointed out they'd probably be able to spend more on charitable work if they hadn't spent that.