Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just had a go at a door to door charity person?

51 replies

BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/06/2012 19:59

he rang the doorbell long and loud and we've just put our kids to bed so I bit his head off. I feel a bit guilty but.....

What makes charities think it's ok to cold call like this, asking for people's money? I told him we already give to charities (which is true!) and actually I'm ignoring calls from one of the ones I support, who keep ringing asking for more money!

Am I completely unreasonable cow?

OP posts:
amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/06/2012 20:02

I don't think you are being unreasonable, though I am sure some will. I don't answer the door to these people and I hang up on all callers. I have certain charites to which I give by standing order.

scarletforya · 07/06/2012 20:02

YANBU

No-one makes him work for the charity, he's doing it out of choice so he knows what to expect. I don't answer the door to any cold callers at all and think the whole thing should be banned. It's totally unacceptable to disturb people at home like that!

sensuallettuce · 07/06/2012 20:03

Thinks its wrong they are allowed to do this.

YANBU.

PoppyWearer · 07/06/2012 20:04

YANBU.

One of them did that to me once, watched me through the door (I saw her watching) carrying sleepy DD to foot of the stairs, by the front door, about to take her up to bed....and the b*tch still rang the fecking doorbell and woke DD up! Shock

I was pg and in my pyjamas too Blush

It turned out the charity she was calling for was one we already supported by DD.

I cancelled the DD that evening and emailed them saying why.

Kazriina · 07/06/2012 20:05

These "charity" workers are being paid between £8-£15 an hour, if they wanted to do that much for their charity they would be volunteers!

YANBU

PoppyWearer · 07/06/2012 20:05

Last two DD's in my post = direct debit, btw!

helenthemadex · 07/06/2012 20:06

YABU a polite no is all that is needed

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 07/06/2012 20:07

YABU to shout at him - he didn't know the kids had just gone to bed.

emsyj · 07/06/2012 20:07

YANBU. I would like to see doorstep calling outlawed, it's fucking intrusive. I once bellowed at a stupid double glazing salesman who rang my bell waking DD up when she was tiny and I was utterly frazzled - where on earth he thought I would want more double glazing on my fecking fully double glazed-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life house I'll never know.

happyinherts · 07/06/2012 20:08

Good for you, PoppyWearer

I think it's an intrusion of privacy to be bombarded on your doorstep by charities. Very very rude, especially of an evening when you have little ones to bath and put to bed. Can quite understand people losing their cool. Very frustrating

emsyj · 07/06/2012 20:09

"YABU to shout at him - he didn't know the kids had just gone to bed."

That's the thing Sunny - because these callers are not invited guests, they don't know what's going on behind the front door. They could be waking a night worker, frightening an elderly person living alone, waking a child... Therefore they shouldn't be ringing the bell in the first place.

alphabite · 07/06/2012 20:09

Its definitely a bit late for a call as a lot of people have young kids. Plus not fair to the elderly as when it starts to get a bit dark they might feel uneasy if the door rings. YANBU but I hope you weren't too horrible to him. It's just his job, whether or not he gets paid for it doesn't matter. People should be able to do their job without agro (most of the time anyway).

I wouldn't mind so much if you could give a one off donation to these people but I hate the fact that you have to sign your life away. Well not quite I guess but you know what I mean.

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 07/06/2012 20:09

We had someone from BHF knock and my nanny told her she wasn't the homeowner who was out

Just before bedtime she knocked again. DS had asked me after nanny left why she was knocking and I had given him a brief explanation so as soon as I opened the door he screamed "don't open the door mummy, it's the lady who wants to take your heart!"

But YANBU
The worst was 2 guys who were trying ti bring the community together by doing a great thing for charity together. "You want me to give you money"

No no - it is about community blah blah blah. He kept reeling off all this BS but ultimately when it came to me closing the door in his face (because he would not shut up) he slid the direct debit instruction through the letterbox!!

Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 07/06/2012 20:12

emsyj there could also be someone behind the door who wants to support the charity...

I wouldn't shout at a caller - whether it's double glazing, politicians, dodgy duster sellers... a polite 'No.' is quite enough. There's no need to shout.

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 07/06/2012 20:13

oh I had a right go at one once...young man...mid twenties knocked my door in the dark...I was alone....I asked through the glass door what he wanted and he muttered something about a charity...I said "No thank you" and then he PEERED through my fecking letterbox! He peered through and said "Are you sure! It's a good cause!"

I almost took his nose off and I'm afraid that I gave him a right telling off anfd called the charity to complain.

Original poster
BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/06/2012 20:13

I firmly said, "can I just say, we've just put our toddler to bed and the doorbell usually wakes her, so I think you should think twice before ringing people's doorbells at 8 pm" or something like that. He looked a bit scared but if it stops him waking up more neighbourhood kids then I'm glad.

By the way- 8 month old was indeed woken up! Argh!

OP posts:
Original poster
BlackholesAndRevelations · 07/06/2012 20:15

I do not think people should have the right to knock on other people's doors asking for their money. I really don't.

OP posts:
EdSillyBand · 07/06/2012 20:16

Ooh I'm just about to print this out and stick it on my door.

EverybodysSleepyEyed · 07/06/2012 20:16

What about the political canvasser who rang at 8pm because

'well I know you mums have been at home all day with the kids and are desperate for adult conversation by this time'

MarySA · 07/06/2012 20:16

YANBU. People should not be calling in the evening. Far too late.

surroundedbyblondes · 07/06/2012 20:19

YANBU. I recently gave a salesman a mouthfull when he kept ringing the door at the kids bedtime. When I finally got up to answer him we had the dog going nuts and two wailing children, one on my hip and one at my ankle. He just launched into his sales pitch, no apology whatever.

Agree that they don't know what's going on behind closed doors but there are things that they can reasonably assume.

And if I don't answer the door don't keep ringing the bell! That's just aggressive and rude.

Gentleness · 07/06/2012 20:20

Nonsense about them not knowing kids might have gone to bed. If there are young children and it's 8 o'clock, the chances are that they'll be in bed. If it is after 8 o'clock, you're not expected, your business is not urgent and you don't know if there are young children / bedridden elderly or sick or whatever - DON'T KNOCK. Especially don't knock loudly, aggressively or repeatedly.

There's no excuse for not knowing things that are easy to work out.

RoxyRobin · 07/06/2012 20:20

Shock at Everybodys' canvasser!

Think I'd have said, "Yes, but only intelligent conversation" and put the phone down.

Gentleness · 07/06/2012 20:21

Sorry - YANBU - can you tell we get plagues of chuggers round here?

Oh - and scratch the 8 o'clock deadline - make that 7.

BumpingFuglies · 07/06/2012 20:21

YABU - If you don't want anyone to ring your doorbell, don't have one. Also have a notice that requests that people don't knock at the door at a certain time.