Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To feel really bad about dd's CT scan

34 replies

Rockpool · 07/06/2012 10:15

So dd 7 had a lump under her eye last year which started to grow at an alarming rate.It started off tiny and I took her to the dc who eventually referred her to a derm consultant and then a plastic surgeon con.

So guilt number 1.I should have chased it more as all the dates were really slow in coming in.Should have badgered the GP as sent us away initially as it was tiny.It then grew in the meantime-a lot.

Plastic surgeon then said she needed a CT scan as being near the eye he didn't want to do any damage.He also wanted to do it under a GA which all happened.Said lump was sent away and was just a cyst which they thought it prob would be.

My dad went into the CT scan room with her as he said he'd rather I didn't.Guilt number 2-ddad protected his child and I didn't.

Just now read the CT scan risk of cancer in children and just feel I've let dd down badly.Said lump was really a cosmetic problem although eventually it could have caused a problem being where it was.I had to consent to all the forms and just did with little thought as dd desperately wanted it gone and I was worried about it getting even bigger.

Have now stupidly googled CT scans and really think I should have done so before.At the time I thought we had no choice so didn't Google but they were as sure as they could be that it wasn't nasty.Maybe we should have just left it as it was really a cosmetic problem.

So would you feel bad or am I just doing what mums do and having a big guiltfest? I find giving consent for non life threatening stuff really hard,ds had a routine op the previous year(tonsills) and I did pretty much the same. What is the right thing to do in these circumstances?

OP posts:

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 07/06/2012 10:19

Stop giving yourself the guiltfest. You have NOT let your daughter down. STOP googling. You are tying yourself up in knots - just back away from the computer, take a deep breath and repeat

'I am a great Mum

I love my daughter

I am doing the best I can'

whathasthecatdonenow · 07/06/2012 10:20

My niece had a brain tumour so she has contrast CTs every three months, because she needs them. Your daughter needed one so you should try not to feel guilty - they aren't given on a whim.

GobblersKnob · 07/06/2012 10:23

Totally agree with what Nooby said.

Please stop beating yourself up

Pseudo341 · 07/06/2012 10:25

The benefits outweigh the risks, you made the right decision. Please stop being so hard on yourself. Children are cruel, the lump may not be life threatening but the emotional damage that can be caused by the teasing could actually be quite a problem for some children. Also you could hardly leave it to keep growing until she couldn't see, you had to do something you've just done it sooner rather than later, I'm sure she'll be happier for it.

Original poster

Rockpool · 07/06/2012 10:28

See I don't know now if she did,maybe I should have left it as it wasn't a tumour and a plastics issue.It's the non life threatening consent thing I struggle with.How is your niece doing What?

Thanks Nooby,giving myself a slap.Shouldn't have clicked on the BBC news I know,have weaned myself off the Daily Fail though.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rockpool · 07/06/2012 10:30

Thanks all,feeling a bit better.Thought I'd be flamed,v surprised.I think if I'd have gone in with her thus sharing it I'd feel better.She wanted grandad after he insisted,I let her choose.

OP posts:

cory · 07/06/2012 10:32

You couldn't be 100% sure that it was a harmless cyst- imagine how you'd felt if you had refused the scan because of the risks and it had been a real tumour.

And on the day, you let her go in with a trusted adult she wanted. You made it about her and not about herself. Can we do more as mothers?

whathasthecatdonenow · 07/06/2012 10:33

Honestly, they cost money to do, they don't suggest them for nothing. It will be important for your daughter to know you made an important decision to have it removed rather than letting it be - just stores up problems for the future.

My niece mostly doing great now thanks Rock.

Dappylittlemomma · 07/06/2012 10:33

Sounds as if a CT scan was needed here. If it had been a tumour/something nasty and you'd refused to let her have the scan you really what feel pretty guilty. You've done a great job getting this cyst sorted. Also sounds like you've read sensationalist stuff about CTs, doctors wouldn't want to use them if they did more harm than good.

Ephiny · 07/06/2012 10:33

I would have thought the risk of a GA was much higher than any possible risk from the CT scan. However there's no need at all to feel guilty about either, these are tiny risks we're talking about, and it doesn't sound like it was something you could just leave, especially as it was getting bigger.

I'd be careful about Googling medical stuff, not all the information you come across will be accurate, and some people will be scare-mongering due to some agenda of their own. if the consultant and surgeon felt it was a safe and appropriate course of action, it probably was.

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 07/06/2012 10:36

Listen woman - don't give yourself a slap either - be KIND to yourself, have a hug or cake or something instead. My DS had to have a non-life threatening op for a hydrocele last year, and I sent myself into a right tizzy. Which was utterly pointless and non-productive. Just think instead how lovely it is for your daughter to have a Mum who cares so much. Also I had my ears pinned back as a child, which is purely cosmetic, and I was SO happy that my parents let me have it done. It really boosted my confidence and self esteem and was well WELL worth it. A lifetime gift in fact

Original poster

Rockpool · 07/06/2012 10:58

Thanks Nooby will do,off to finish off the last off the jubilee scones(and to sort out the rumpus downstairs).

Thanks to everybody else too,rain and Googling does not a good combination make.

OP posts:

frumpet · 07/06/2012 11:04

I hate to be the one that breaks this to you , but the chances are that the vast majority of us will develop cancer at some point in our lives , the longer we live the greater the chance is . Having a CT scan is not going to increase your childs risk anymore than a thousand other factors , known or other wise.

You are a good mummy , you took your child to see the appropriate medical professionals when they told you to . You didnt go into the scan with your DD , but she didnt need protecting , she didnt know you were there or not . Your father probably offered because he knew how upsetting it may be for you . If she had been awake you would of gone in wouldnt you .

Stop feeling guilty about this , from your post you have done nothing to deserve the guilt you are heaping on yourself .

minervaitalica · 07/06/2012 11:04

OP, all the decisions you made in this occasion seem reasonable. You cannot take risk away from life - in general, not just medical things. It seems to me you took a perfectly balanced route.

And of course it's OK to come here for a moan or reassurance only too...

coppertop · 07/06/2012 11:21

"Plastic surgeon then said she needed a CT scan as being near the eye he didn't want to do any damage."

And this is exactly why you went ahead with it. Can you imagine saying to the surgeon, "Well I had a look on google and I'm not really sure..."? :o

Be kind to yourself.

NCIS · 07/06/2012 12:03

My DS had to have a CT scan at 6 weeks old (therefore needing a GA) due to a port-wine stain birth mark on his face which could have extended to the covering of the brain. He then went on to have several courses of pulse dye laser treatment as a toddler which also needed GA's. It was a purely cosmetic problem but I never thought of not letting it happen due to the small risk of GA's.
You have done the best for your daughter and balanced the risk/benefit issue perfectly.

CoffeeDog · 07/06/2012 12:21

My Son (DT2) has been tested on alot (he had brain surgery last december to open up his skull to allow his brain more move ;)

He had quite a few CT scans MRI and lots of blood tests as well as spending 5 1/2 in surgery + 2 days in peds hi dependacy + a week on the wards for an op that might benifit him now as he grows and possiably bennifit him in the future - no one could tell me for sure.

As a mum you make your decision based on the facts you have and hope you are doing the best you can and thats all you can do.

You do your best - and that is good enough.

as a side not my cousins daughter had a small mole on her face cosmetic yes but it affected her all of her young life and is a completley changed person now she has had it removed at 18. Her parents now feel guilty that they didnt do it sooner.

wrathomum · 07/06/2012 15:21

As far as I understand it - having several CT scans during childhood increases the chances of your DC getting some particular cancers by about three times. BUT the chances are so small that it's still very very unlikely that you've put your DC at risk. Remember that if, for example the chance of something is 0.01% and then you do something which increases it by three times the chance is still only 0.03%.

Sirzy · 07/06/2012 15:27

I can understand why you are concerned, each chest x ray
Ds has worries me a bit more BUT they don't do these things unless they feel a need.

It may just be 'cosmetic' but it's best to be done now while she is young as it would most likely cause her anguish as she gets older, and of course there is a risk it would have grown more. I had an op that was just cosmetic when I was 10 and have never regretted it.

alphabite · 07/06/2012 15:29

If you listened to everything that was said about cancer you would never do a million things: xrays, CT, eating bacon and sausages, taking certain medications ... the list is endless. We can't let ourselves and you can't let your children live in a bubble. Life is never going to be without risks so we just have to live with them.

Honestly you have not let your daughter down.

RedHelenB · 07/06/2012 15:30

I thought it was going to end that it was cancerous, so for goodness sake don't beat yourself up that it has all turned out ok!!

mayaswell · 07/06/2012 17:32

A trusted and reassuring adult went into the scan with her, showing her how many people are there to love and support her. You've been through a massive upheaval yourself, you saw your child go through a scary time, give yourself a break. Glad she's well.

LizzieMint73 · 08/06/2012 06:28

Rockpool

The risk from one CT scan is very small and the radiation dose is insignificant (think 1%) compared with the radiation dose we all receive every day from background radiation.

CT scans are only given out on medical need and its better that your dad went in the room with your DD as he is an older man and you are a woman of child bearing age. They wouldn't have wanted you in the room if there was any chance at all that you were pregnant (although the radiation dose to the 'comforter and carer' is much smaller than that to the patient).

I haven't read the report directly but it is usually the case when these types of studies are reported in the general media that any increase in risk is exagerated out of all proportion. The increase in risk of tumours is an increase in a risk that is very very small. It will be something like going from 2 in 1 million to 3 in 1 million. That still means that 999 997 children out of that million are not affected.

Please don't worry and you did the right thing. I would urge caution about googling anything health related as there really is a lot of nonsense out there on the web - some which makes the Daily Fail look quite reasonable

Finallygotaroundtoit · 08/06/2012 06:41

Second what everyone else has said - you are a good mum, you did absolutely the right thing.

However, I wonder if part of your guilt may stem from the bit about your Dad 'protecting you' by not allowing you to be with DD.

Something doesn't seem quite right about that although I'm sure he meant well. I'm wondering if it indicates some issues in your relationship with him and your own self esteem?

Did you really want to be with her? If so, why does your dad's opinion override yours when it's such an important thing affecting your DD ?

sashh · 08/06/2012 06:42

See I don't know now if she did,maybe I should have left it as it wasn't a tumour

And what if it was? If you had reffused and it was a tumour wouldn't you feel even worse?

She needed a medical procedure, she had it. Stop beating yourself up.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread