To feel really bad about dd's CT scan

[Rockpool]

So dd 7 had a lump under her eye last year which started to grow at an alarming rate.It started off tiny and I took her to the dc who eventually referred her to a derm consultant and then a plastic surgeon con.

So guilt number 1.I should have chased it more as all the dates were really slow in coming in.Should have badgered the GP as sent us away initially as it was tiny.It then grew in the meantime-a lot.

Plastic surgeon then said she needed a CT scan as being near the eye he didn't want to do any damage.He also wanted to do it under a GA which all happened.Said lump was sent away and was just a cyst which they thought it prob would be.

My dad went into the CT scan room with her as he said he'd rather I didn't.Guilt number 2-ddad protected his child and I didn't.

Just now read the CT scan risk of cancer in children and just feel I've let dd down badly.Said lump was really a cosmetic problem although eventually it could have caused a problem being where it was.I had to consent to all the forms and just did with little thought as dd desperately wanted it gone and I was worried about it getting even bigger.

Have now stupidly googled CT scans and really think I should have done so before.At the time I thought we had no choice so didn't Google but they were as sure as they could be that it wasn't nasty.Maybe we should have just left it as it was really a cosmetic problem.

So would you feel bad or am I just doing what mums do and having a big guiltfest? I find giving consent for non life threatening stuff really hard,ds had a routine op the previous year(tonsills) and I did pretty much the same. What is the right thing to do in these circumstances?

I lurk, instead of post (pretty much terrified of the flaming some new posters get, as Im a total wimp), but couldn't read and not say anything.

My 9 yr old dd had the same problem, with the operation happening a month ago. It was a very large, fast growing granulomas cyst under her left eye, and another hard cyst in her upper eyelid of her right eye with necrotic tissue which had to be removed. She had to have bilateral surgery to remove both of them. She also had a CT scan. I was pretty much in pieces as well. Being told they have to test the material they remove because it "could" be cancerous is absolutely terrifying for any mother. You are totally normal imo to panic and worry. I certainly did.

It was explained to me that they had to see the blood supply to the lump and also the extent to which it had invaded tissue, before they operated. I dont see there was any choice for your daughter, or mine, other than a ct scan, however scary that was.

I was also very concerned about the cosmetic result. Noone wants to see their child have to deal with a facial disfiguration and the consequent issues with bullying and people staring. It is so hard on them.

I was also concerned about the risks of the CT scan, and also the prolonged steroid eye drops she needed, which caused drug induced childhood glaucoma. These lumps can grow very big, can push on the eyeball and cause astigmatism, and generally cause problems. The one of the right eye, had already caused necrotic tissue, and was causing problems beyond a cosmetic issue. Please dont beat yourself up over this. You did nothing wrong, there was nothing more you could do.

You did everything you could to protect your daughter, everything that was medically necessary, you have absolutely no reason to feel bad. You did not let her down in the slightest.

Thanks all,feel much better now.Really appreciate your kind posts.I'm normally the first one to say don't Google or spend too much time worrying over the scores of studies you see,tried sitting on my hands but........it kind of popped up on the BBC news site yesterday.

Finally dad just wanted to protect me from the radiation,said as he was older it made sense not to expose myself to it. Didn't think anything of it at the time.I've had masses of fertility treatment,scans on my legs after an IVF cycle gone bad.He worries. I was slightly nervous too(although in no way obviously in front of dd),he knows me well.

Hate closed in spaces too so being actually in that machine would have been my idea of hell. Think he was trying to protect me but we both made absolutely sure dd was 100% sure she wanted my dad right up until the last minute.I'd have been in there with bells on if she had wanted me.

Dd was a star.Said scanners said she was so chilled(might not have been with my anxious face in there) she was better than many adults they've done.She was allowed to listen to music and they were lovely with her.

Kits they're strange these lumps aren't they.Dd's scar has nearly gone now, you can barely see it,.We got told it would be highly unlikely to get another one and was just bad luck.I'll know what to look for next time though and will push for quicker appointments.Many thanks for braving aibu and telling me about your dd.

My son had a CT scan at 3 weeks when he fell out of my arms to see if he'd cracked his skull. He didn't have GA because he was sound asleep and stayed that way!

My husband did exactly what you are doing and freaked out. Until I pointed out that if he hadn't had it, we never would have known that he skull was fractured and that he needed to stay in hospital overnight and checked by a neurologist.

Better a bit of radiation and proper knowledge, I think.

Rock did they do an external incision, or an internal one from being the eyelid if you know what I mean? We had internal excisions. The upper eyelid has some discoloration, and the lower lid cyst caused the lid to become distended. She is due one more procedure to sort out the extropion, I think that is the right word? The droopy lid. However, it is a million times better now than the huge lump.

As you say, you know exactly what to look for now, and act appropriately.

We are still dealing with the after effects of the steriod drops, and I am still very worried about a reoccurance. I was also told that she was more likely to have another cyst than someone who had never had one, however, it was not likely to happen. We were told it may have been an inflammatory response to an insect bite, or some other minor trauma, but I certainly can't think of any incident!

My daughter, like yours was an absolute star with everything she had to tolerate. You should be very proud of your daughter indeed, and yourself. It is very scary to see them suffer, and to contemplate any risk to them at all, isnt it.

Im going to back away from AIBU now before Im tempted to offer myself up for new poster sacrifice!

She had the external but honestly they heal so quick.You wouldn't know she'd had work done.

I can't think of anything either(I've wracked my brains),under the eye is a funny place for trauma.

I'm hopeful it won't happen again,they seemed to think it would be very unlikely.I'll be in though getting it sorted when it's the size of a pinhead next time not the size of a grape.

Now you've posted you'll be a regular.

Rock Im glad you got a good cosmetic result for her. My daughter's larger lump also went from a pin point, to a a grape size very quickly, the other size was calcified and more troublesome even though it was smaller. Because it was so near her eye and they went in internally we have to see the opthalmologist. I scared myself silly googling as well, and had to take a deep breath and move away from medical websites.

Its good to be informed, but in the end I had to tell myself that the consultant does know best, and they want a good outcome as much as I do. I do know it is so hard.

Do I get to offer Pom Bears now Ive posted in AIBU and survived to tell the tale? .

Don't feel bad about not going in with her, it wouldnt have helped if you freaked out. You have made sure she is well, and you clearly adore her, and Im sure she absolutely knows that.

I'm nor an expert, but I think the news stories were about repeated scans, so I guess the risk would be cumulative, so one scan would be lowest risk.

Agree with others that CT scanners are a scarce resource, and docs must always judge whether the risk outweighs the benefit. The surgeon needed one to operate safely. I don't think you've got anything to reproach yourself for by letting her have the scan.

Yes you do.

Don't be scared,aibu can(as this thread shows)be a great support at times.I'm an old(many times name changed regular)and for every flaming you see you come across the kind,the funny too.

Good luck with the opthalmologist,you're very right and they do know best.In a few months time you'll be amazed at how well your dd has healed.I have been. Wish my wrinkly skin could bounce back so quick.

Hi Rockpool, just to say that your fears and worries are completely understandable, my DD had to have a major op as a tiny baby and when the time came for her to go down to the theatre my instinct was screamimg at me not to let her go, to just hold her tight to me and run for the hills. BUT the logical part of me knew that I would have to let her have the op. She also had a cyst, it was not a tumour, but it did get infected and started to swell up, if it had carried on like that then it would have started to press against some of her internal organs, so leaving it was not an option.

That was seven years ago, and although we were told there is a slight risk it might come back, we have had seven years so far when it hasn't. The scar is also very slight, you would not know it was there unless you were told (thanks to a brilliant surgeon, I am very grateful to him).

I can relate to everything you say about feeling guilty about signing the consent forms (I made DH do it) but in the end she needed the procedure and you did what was best. As for chasing appointments to get them quicker, we had to wait a shockingly long time, I chased the hospital constantly, used ever means I could think of to try and get a quicker appointment, even my GP was calling the hospital for me practically every week, but it made not one iota of difference. The NHS is just too big and cumbersome to do battle with.

Hope that your DD is now healthy & hearty and will soon put all this behind her. Then you can too, good luck!!