To think the Government should not be telling me how I am allowed to look after my baby?

[thezoobmeister]

I'm expecting DC2 in a couple of months and signed up for the NHS new pregnancy emails out of interest. I was expecting it to be pretty neutral and focused on health and safety stuff.

But can't believe how 'nanny state' it is! Telling me exactly where the baby is allowed to sleep (in my bed or in my arms are both banned, apparently) and how to get the baby into a routine (er, what if I don't want to?) Most of it is totally subjective and the patronising, preachy tone is what I'd expect from SWMNBN, not the NHS FGS. Example page here

Why is the government spending my money on this shite unwanted advice rather than, say, doing something about the midwives staffing crisis?

unwanted advice??? you signed up for the emails!

I don't see it as them telling you how to look after your baby tbh. I see it as helpful advice which would probably be more beneficial to those first time mums who have no idea what to expect. Just because you feel it is unwanted advice, there will be many women who appreciate it. YABU

read your example page. i dont see anything wrong with it. for a first time mum who has no one to ask or help guide it can be of help. this isnt your first child ... whats your gripe exactly?

They don't tell you unless you ask them so how is that different from buying a book?

Not that we don't like an excuse to pitch into the current government, but really you laid yourself open to this one.

"spending my money"

ugh!

But it's not telling people what to expect. It's telling people what to do. That's different.

Most of it only says ''It can be helpful'' to - No where does it say NEVER - ?Total over reaction to some generic advice

Have we just read the same link?

Nowhere does it say you're not 'allowed' to do anything.

Nowhere does it tell you exactly where your baby is 'allowed' to sleep.

It's advice and you may find it unwanted but many other parents will no doubt welcome it...especially for their first DC.

then unsubscribe! sheesh!

And I'm an efb baby wearing lentil weaver.

Why on earth would you NOT want to get into a routine with your baby?

And surely they are warning you not to co-sleep because they believe there's a risk involved? Aren't they right to warn you of that risk?

It is not that perscriptive really. Lots of 'can be helpful' and not 'you should'. Does not say bed sharing or falling asleep in arms is banned either. The only thing I would add is tips on how to make bed sharing as safe as possible.

Well just ignore it then! Exactly what sort of things were you expecting? When you say 'health and safety' - surely the baby sleeping in its own bed is related to just that? (disclaimer - I mean for when people are not co-sleeping but just fall asleep with exhaustion without meaning to etc).

I can't imagine getting rid of this would result in the employment of many midwives

When I had my babies, under a Labour government, we were given this kind of advice in a book handed out during the booking in meeting.

Lots of parents are not interested in trying to put their baby into a routine. Babies usually find their own routie anyway.

I think this bit is a bit pants "Your baby will learn how to fall asleep in their cot if you put them down when they're still awake rather than getting them to sleep by rocking or cuddling them in your arms. If they get used to falling asleep in your arms, they may need nursing back to sleep if they wake up again" but no one has to follow the advice. Maybe new mums and dads might feel a bit pressured to do it 'right' after reading this though.

this bit "Six to 12 months: at this age, night feeds should no longer be necessary" is, IMO, bollox.

but you signed up for it, they didn't force it on you...

Erm... Looks fairly reasonable to me. For example, from the page you linked:

Is it important to have a routine from the beginning?

Newborn babies will sleep on and off throughout the day and night. It can be helpful to have a pattern, but you can always change the routine to suit your needs

It can be helpful to have a pattern. Not, HAVE A PATTERN OR YOU'RE A BAD PARENT!

Well it's because some people don't know what to do. Really. It may seem like common sense to you, but the trouble with common sense is that it isn't common enough.

I suggest you unsubscribe from the emails and get off your high horse.

Doesn't seem overly preachy to me - and it may be unwanted advice to you but who are you to speak for the however many other women who might find it useful? You know - first time mums, those without support networks and those who may be woefully uninformed about any of it?
And if you don't want a routine for you baby - well - whoooopee you ffs - but some people might. Do you just rail against everything for the sake of it?

Your pregnancy hormones are making you see things that aren't there. That page is fine and you are being a tad silly.

but they are guidelines!!! there are some uselful tips and information in it. besides its a year old and will be reviewed next year. perhaps OP you could offer them some feedback on how you would like your money spent before the next review in 2013.

I've read the page too. I can't see the problem. Some women might find it useful. If you don't, unsubscribe.

Tbh, it looks like a lot of common sense to me and some of the 'advice' is just that - it's not an order. It's not law. No one's going to arrest you if you co-sleep. They're just saying that putting the baby in it's own bed is safest - which statistically it is. And that a good calm sleep routine can 'help' prevent problems later on. Which it can.

Not all of it is going to be relevant to everyone. Like all advice, you listen/read, reflect and then cherry pick the bits that are most useful to you whilst bearing the other stuff in mind.

If you're not interested in what the NHS has to say on the matter, then don't ask them (which is what you've done by signing up for the emails).

No idea what SWMNBN is.

As for telling people what to do. One of the reasons this site is so popular is because it's full of people with less experience of a situation asking people with more experience of a situation what they should do. It's no different. It's just that the advice they're getting is a different kind of expertise.

And as for you claiming that certain sleeping positions or whatever are BANNED - get a bloody grip will you! Firstly - nobody can ban such a thing and secondly - oh bollocks to it - I don't think there's going to be any reasoning with you.