Bloody ex! Sons coat held hostage!

[washingonawednesday]

Contact weekend ended yesterday and ex forgot to give me ds coat back. I text and asked him to post it and have been sent a series of increasingly shitty texts along the lines of
It's June (its pissing down here)
Haven't I got anything else warm for him? (yes, but they are thick jumpers- nothing waterproof)
It would be cheaper to just buy a new one (a- no it wouldn't and b- fine youre earning £40k and buying a coat would be nothing, I'm on benefits- a coat is expensive and he dosent need two, he needs the one he's got!) obviously I was much more polite in my responses to him!
Aibu to keep asking till he sends it and risk a big pissing contest or let my son get wet for 2 weeks till he's down again?
We've been getting on really well recently and it's been a breath of fresh air- no idea why he's suddenly gone back to 'shitty ex who is argumentative all the time'

Suspect new attitude may have something to do with the fact that I collected him dolled up, low cut top, still 4 stone lighter and happy as larry as had just come from a party and was taking ds back there to have fun while he has to do a long drive in bank holiday traffic with fat, stroppy ow he upgraded me for

I'm being facetious, but if he is pissed off that I'm happy it's still no reason to hold a coat hostage!

Our son is 17 months old btw.

Keep on at him, he either sends it back or he reimburses you the cost of buying a new one! Sending it back will cost him less won't it! He is being a complete child!

You are well within your rights to be happy and weigh as much as you want! He is just jealous as he can see what he has thrown away but that is his loss and like you say no reason to hold a coat hostage!

I'd just buy a new cheap one. Or do you know someone with a spare?

Look in a charity shop for something?

Not sure what postage is like-it might not get there much before next visit!

Get thee to Primark or similar, don't allow this prick to rile you.

For a 17mo child, a light jacket'd be a couple of quid, and it'd remove the opportunity for your ex to try to 'punish' you for having the cheek to thrive when he left!

Bet you think that he did you a favour by leaving, don't you? [ grin]

I agree getting him a new (cheap) one. Id be pissed off at having to but i dont think its worth the arguing and i would be asking for the money back off your ex no matter how much it cost. He's being pathetic!

Get a new coat and send him the bill.

In fact, buy him a cheap one and only send him to the ex with that one on. And don't ever send him in any of his 'nice' clothes either. I had to do that otherwise they would all disappear. Not because ex was mean, but because he was crap with their stuff. I always sent them to his with stuff that didn't matter on.

He will think he has the upper hand, because he has the coat you want.
If you can, buy a cheap one and don't let him feel like he wins.

Agree with the cheap coat from primark. Don't respond to any more texts unless they are going to affect your son. He's being silly but it sounds like he's looking for a fight so just ignore ignore ignore. He'll end up feeling a bit silly.

The amount of times ive gone through this senario!

A couple of years ago my xp kept our ds winter coat for 3 bloody weeks!!!! My ds was 7 at the time
And xp lives literally 2 minutes down the road too!

Infact he kept hold of his waterproof jacket for 2 weeks and only dropped it off as we were going on holiday and i had to text him twice about it!!

Get one from a charity shop, preferably a hideous one.

Only send him to ex's in this from now on.

I agree with Fresh....get a cheap one and then do NOT send his nice things to his Dads again. I bet Ex was gobsmacked to see you lighter and looking all gorgeous!

Ooo yanbu. Keep on at him. How hard is it to post a coat ffs?!

I've had a similar row with my ex. He lost a brand new coat I'd brought dd from next for £40 when she was little. No offer from him to buy a new one or even money towards a new one! I ended up buying another one as dd really loved her coat and was upset... I didn't win the battle but you should! Go for it.

I like the cheap coat idea, but sadly we live in the arse end of nowhere and the nearest primary is 120 miles away! Charity shop it is.

I really hope this dosent descend into world war three...

Don't let it become any kind of war. Buy a cheap one, and send him the bill. Set the precident that this is what will happen from now on if he forgets something vital. Dont be drawn in to his stupid arguement.

You are on benefits, you said.

Apply for a crisis loan for the cost of a new coat. Explain that your Ex has it and give the benefits' agency (what ever they are called now) permission to phone him.

I agree with Fresh buy a cheap coat from Primark and only ever send him with that none. We don't allow dd to visit my ex with any of her best clothes as they get left behind, his mother washes them (and frequently dyes them) or they just come back reaching of cigarette smoke.

Fair play to you for being happy, gorgeous and better of without him. Don't let him control your mood!!

I really like sashh's idea. From the sounds of him he'd be mortified that you'd gone to such lengths and would think twice about being such an arse next time.

So he's pissed off that you're better off without him and he's taking it out on your DS

No wonder he's your ex.

I would be refusing to send any clothes with DS from now on, let him provide everything for the weekend if he can't be trusted with them.

My ex regularly held things of dd's hostage, very annoying and he lives 5 min walk away!! I just send her in cheap stuff now so if he decides to hold it hostage its no big deal as her nice stuff is here anyway! Although how he manages to keep things when he doesn't have her for more than 6 hours a week is beyond me!