children and parents in soft play?

[andimac27]

I feel bad because I had a bitof a go/word with a mum at the gym today.
The gym has a soft play area for little kids, there is a door between the soft play and the lounge.

My kids are little so I sat by the door looking into the soft play area. My kds played in there and only came out once. However, another little girl of about 3 was in and outlike a yo-yo. BUT she could not open the door herself so each timeshe wanted out or in I had to stand up go to the door and let her in or out.

Her parents were sat enjoying a meal at the far side of the lounge and obliovious to this.

Eventually I loss my rag - wjisch is not like me- I wentover to the parents and verry politely said- Iam sorry to bother you but do you realise your daughter cannot open the door and I have got up over 10 times for her now. I expected the parents to be mortified but the mother was snotty snd said she can open the door- she has seen her do it this morning.

i am upset as saying something to people isreally out of chararcter for me andI was mega polite and assumed they would apoligise but their reaction hasleft mewondering if I should have just ignored the little girl asking me to help her.

I think you did the right thing, helping the little girl. The other mum was rude, I'd have thanked you.

I think YANBU but I would have played it differently - have seen too many parents ignoring their kids.

I would have said to the kid "Can you open the door yourself?" Yes - well do it yourself then! No - Then you need to ask your mummy or daddy to stay by the door to help you in and out.

She probably could do it but you helped the first time... So she was going to keep asking you.

If you're going to do a favour, I wouldn't throw it back in parents face.

What Pinkapple said tbh.
I wouldn't have been bobbing up and down for her.

Yup, either do the door or don't. Don't do it and then go whining.

I did say to her once - you need to ask your mum to open the door- she ran off - Iassumed to ak her mum - but cameback alone and another parent letting their child in let her in.

YANBU. Our gymhas a separate play area and I am sick and tired of having to attend to other peoples children. There is seating so you can keep am eye on your children. But so many people think their darlings are so well behaved / immune to accidents that they can sit elsewhere and not have to be in the vicinity of their charges

See the point - yes maybe Ishould have ignored her particularly on the way in - I will do it differently next time. But on the wat outit was difficult as I could see through the window the girl was upset trying to open the door. I t was unpleasantto ignore.

It also winds me up that people don't properly supervise their kids in the soft play area in the gym, they would probably also be the type that if she had an accident in there or trapped her fingers in the door etc it would be the gyms fault!

Some people are supervising their kids but trying to teach them independence, especially when you know they can do it themselves.

Kids will try the easier route, fair play, but if she can do
It herself...

I don't get why so many are unsupervised and seemingly from a v early age imo - especially with larger children barging around (albeit innocent fun) and some potential for accidents.

yanbu

alargeglassofred - the problem is though, you often can't win. Sit away from them = neglectful, sit near them = helicopter parent. Depending on the ages of your children I don't think there is anything wrong sitting slightly away from them while they play. As for helping other children - well why not? What happened to it takes a village to raise a child? It does surprise me sometimes people who don't take kindly to helping a child that not their own. Although OP if it was time and time again you had to help with the door I can see that would be annoying.

I suspect she may have opened it herself once - pushing herself out - but I let her try for a couple of times b4 I got up - she was geting upset as the door is heavy - even for me. My 5 and chucky 3 yr oldcant do it so i really found it hard to believe that this slight 3 year old could.

It was 10+ times and I was trying to have a coffee and read the paper and her parent I saw enjoying a meal as if they were on a sans kids night out. I am upset I siaid something -I wish I had not rose to it. But when I told dh he was like your not their nanny, why should you not have 30 mins peace while our kids play. Iam still not sure i woulddef not say anything next time, but maybe not helping the child would upse tme more, god knows what is best.

I'd say, what is best is letting the parent deal with it.

Sorry dont understand what you mean ecleticShock?

I can see why you are fed up. But equally, I think better to leave th kid to at leat try and open door herself- was she getting upset bcuase she couldn;t open door or was it more wanting someone to do it for her?

What dont you understand?

Eclecticshock>> Think some people use 'teaching independence' as an excuse for not watching their kids properly. By all means sit a bit away but at age 3 the parents should be keeping an eye on them at all times- not down the other end of the room. She could have wandered out of the gym completely for all they know

True.

YANU for going to a soft play

FWIW I think you were right to say something.
Child is in soft play, child can't get out and starts to get upset.
You help out (I couldn't sit there and watch a child getting upset, either).
You then have to do it repeatedly because the parents aren't near enough to see either that she wants to get out, or that she is getting upset.
It does take a village to raise a child, yes. But that doesn't mean parents get to abdicate responsibility by assuming that someone else will watch their kids for them.

I think after the first time, I'd have called across the room something along the lines of "excuse me but I think your child needs you", and do so everytime. They will soon get the message and you don't have to engage with them.