Snakes & Ladders, Aibu to expect that Violence should have consequences, not be condoned by management by asking the kids to sit and have a snack, surely?

[SnakesandShadows]

We went to Snakes & ladders today. It is my youngest birthday, he wanted to go. Before you tell me that I am unreasonable for taking my child to a place that quite clearly is the Forecourt of Hell, well, we havent been before so I did not know this.

My sons had only been inside for 10 minutes, when my oldest (10) came running out crying. He had come down the slide in the ball park, and the balls went flying. A group of children had pounced on him in anger that some balls flew into the air and above their heads. The started pummeling balls into his head, and one of them kicked him really hard in the groin.

I got the staff involved pointing out the kids in question explaining what they had done, another parent came forward and said that the same group of children had been bullying her younger child, kept following him around scaring him.

What did the staff do?

Fuck all.

They basically told me that it was their policy to tell the kids to sit down, chill out and have a snack before going in again!

So, these children are free to attack and kick other children, are told to have some quiet time together with their families, before they can go back in again!

There they were, having snack and cake with their mums, while my son could not straighten up again after, sobbing and hiding behind a bin, scared to be attacked again.

So, the message they are giving such violent children is basically:

"Go have a snack and calm down, then go back in and enjoy yourselves."

Rather than giving a clear message that violence is unacceptable, and if you hit or kick another child you will have to leave the premises, they basically condone it ...

I am going to write to customer services about this.

(I am a regular, just dont want my usual name connected to this issue), I just want to find out if I am unreasonable in expecting a clear policy when it comes to violent behaviour in such places.

For a boy to kick another boy really hard in the groin, unprovoked, and for no good reason is totally unacceptable and should be dealt with in a clear manner.

Did you not approach the parents?

ha ha ha. Me alone. Against a gang of them? They did not care, management spoke to the kids while the parents were there. They got the squash and chocolate. Two mums, with 3 really large boys.

Never heard of snakes and ladders

but it's not up to no doubt minimum wage staff to discipline the children

That's the parents job

They aren't teachers

If their parents are there, surely it should be up to them to discipline their little darlings?

Go somewhere else next time then. Write a letter by all means, but it is not the job of staff in these places to discipline children.

Well although I appreciate that is not what should happen,I still think I would have said something. Easy to say as ds is not 1 yet.
It is the parent's duty not the staff.

If there was a policy for the staff to hide behind, they would be able to tell them to leave.

They should change their policy to one that allows for the removal from the premises of anyone who is being violent!

I have been to the Dunstable Snakes and Ladders.

No advise - sorry, but have you never been to a soft play place before. Wow!! am impressed.

Well, I dont think these parents would say anything to their kids, and I reckon I would get more than ONE earful of abuse, not to mention risking further repercussions.

However, if the place had a non-violence policy, and they broke the rules, they could be asked to leave.

True, they should be able to say to parents/minders that they will be asked to leave if they don't supervise their children properly.

I'd still take my custom elsewhere though.

Is this par for the course on softplay places?

I have not been since they were toddlers, I absolutely detest places like this. We only went because ds2 wanted to, and it was his birthday.

Oh absolutely, I wont go back!

Ds2 had been there for a birthday party recently, I thought to check it out for myself before booking his party there! Obviously I wont now.

The Snakes and Ladders near us isn't just soft play hell, it's exorbitantly overpriced and grubby soft play hell. Just in case anyone is considering it?

So sorry your day turned out like this.

What happened hasn't been my experience of softplay places. Poor DSs. Is DS1 ok now?

I would definitely complain, whilst the policy of children having a time out is OK, if they keep on being violent / breaching or [bold] there is one instance that is so violent or severe, they should be asked to leave. There must be a manager on duty so the matter should be referred to them.

Parents should manage their children, but for businesses like this, to ensure that children who behave come again, the staff should enforce the rules.

I'm very careful about which soft play centres I go to, can't stand the noise of some (Fun something - yeah right) and prefer smaller ones with the owner on duty.

Oh it is so filthy that your hands get stuck to any woodwork you happen to touch!

*Oops wrong bold thing aagh

Put it another way - you go to a nightclub - someone comes up and threatens to beat you up / starts beating you up. Do you expect the bouncers to throw them out, or tell them to have another drink?!

Or like the swimming pool thread, where a family got hassled and everyone thought the family doing the hassling should have been asked to leave. (NB in that instance nowhere near the same level of violence as being kicked in the groin.)

Assuming it is a kind of soft play centre with all ages of children, I would expect them to be kicked out as I can't see the difference from the above examples. Kicking another child is assault - no difference to an adult kicking an adult and potentially being arrested for it - and OP I might be on my own on this one, but I agree. Not their job to discipline, but it is their job to ask someone who isn't behaving reasonably to leave to ensure the enjoyment of their other customers.

The point is that children who get hurt are also paying customers, and their day is ruined by both the embarrassment, humiliation and the pain of being hurt.

Management would be wise to understand that they need to have a clear policy on violence, as otherwise kids who behave wont come again, and violent kids have a freezone!

It is also extremely unfair and frustrating for children on the receiving end of such treatment when they see that it is actually OK that other kids treat them this way, as there are no consequences for the other kids.

They are obviously not going to feel sad that they hurt another child, they keep having fun!

It is a question of what sort of customer/child you want to attract.

Thanks Ohmygosh. That is exactly my point.

As it is, the opposite happened. My son just wanted to leave, saying he would never come again. And looking at the group of kids, they were having a merry old time getting snacks and drinks to "calm down" before continuing playing. So, in essence, they were rewarded.

More than £15 entry fee for my boys, just for my oldest to be assaulted.

The soft play centres near me do have these policies in place, and I've seen people chucked out before. But I have also been known to have a very strong word with any random kids i see being nasty in places like this too, even if it's not my kid being bothered.

The thing is, I did not see it. I was looking for somewhere to sit, I was laden with shoes and cardigans... Another parent saw it though.

But management said the kids said MY son was also kicking them.

I asked, what did you expect him to do, when he was laying there, with a group of them chucking balls into his face, and kicking him?

I do sympathise that you had a bad time and I hope your son is ok but I understand why the staff don't have such a policy; in your case the violence may have been obvious and witnessed but that will not always be the case and the staff (who are generally young 16-18 year olds) are not going to be able to mediate between children and parents as to who exactly did what to whom. Short of CCTV which is going a bit far, what really do you suggest? Also if you weren't prepared to talk to the parents and risk a verbal assault, why do you expect the staff to? Your problem is with the parents of the other kids, not the centre. Its cleanliness is another matter! Not all soft plays are like this. Big Space in Harpenden is lovely as is Space to Play in Hitchin.