Snakes & Ladders, Aibu to expect that Violence should have consequences, not be condoned by management by asking the kids to sit and have a snack, surely?

[SnakesandShadows]

We went to Snakes & ladders today. It is my youngest birthday, he wanted to go. Before you tell me that I am unreasonable for taking my child to a place that quite clearly is the Forecourt of Hell, well, we havent been before so I did not know this.

My sons had only been inside for 10 minutes, when my oldest (10) came running out crying. He had come down the slide in the ball park, and the balls went flying. A group of children had pounced on him in anger that some balls flew into the air and above their heads. The started pummeling balls into his head, and one of them kicked him really hard in the groin.

I got the staff involved pointing out the kids in question explaining what they had done, another parent came forward and said that the same group of children had been bullying her younger child, kept following him around scaring him.

What did the staff do?

Fuck all.

They basically told me that it was their policy to tell the kids to sit down, chill out and have a snack before going in again!

So, these children are free to attack and kick other children, are told to have some quiet time together with their families, before they can go back in again!

There they were, having snack and cake with their mums, while my son could not straighten up again after, sobbing and hiding behind a bin, scared to be attacked again.

So, the message they are giving such violent children is basically:

"Go have a snack and calm down, then go back in and enjoy yourselves."

Rather than giving a clear message that violence is unacceptable, and if you hit or kick another child you will have to leave the premises, they basically condone it ...

I am going to write to customer services about this.

(I am a regular, just dont want my usual name connected to this issue), I just want to find out if I am unreasonable in expecting a clear policy when it comes to violent behaviour in such places.

For a boy to kick another boy really hard in the groin, unprovoked, and for no good reason is totally unacceptable and should be dealt with in a clear manner.

The Problem then is:

Lack of clear policy
Lack of staff supervising
Lack of Responsible Management on duty

Teenagers on duty is a problem that can be overcome.

When you consider the extortionate entrance fees, and the costly snacks for sales, these places must make quite a profit.

well they are a business, did you expect them to be run by people who just want to give kids a lovely time and hang the expense? Any centre that requires parents to stay (ie not a creche) will not take responsibility for disciplining a child. They may have a policy saying that unacceptable behaviour will result in being asked to leave but as I said above, the reality of implementing such a policy means that it will rarely be invoked. They DO make good money, so if a few people decide not to go because of incidents like this, well they can probably live with that. Who do you envisage would be better working in these places? Fully qualified childcare people with graduate degrees in behaviour management and on 20k salaries? really?

What else do you want them to do? The policy may not be fair but there's nothing really they can do.

Personally I would have bounced up to the parents like the 'chav' I am, group or not, and told them to control their sodding children.

Trixie has just made the point I was too lazy to.

You can't expect the staff to start throwing children out on other parent's say-so surely?

If another parent told them your son had kicked someone, would you be happy to leave?

What if your son was swearing he either didn't do it at all or that it was a pure accident?

I think their policy is quite far really...given that some children's idea of 'play' is far too rough and they do need to chill out and calm down.

And given that of course some children and parents lie.

Trixie, Just because I think they should have a policy where then can ask violent children who assault their other customers to leave, does not mean that I think they should employ people with phd's in behavioral management, dont be daft.

you said employing teenagers can be solved, presumably by employing older, qualified people, but honestly WHO would work there other than teens on part-time jobs? Its mostly serving food, wiping up accidents and tidying up. I was being facetious on my earlier post but really the point stands.

Ah so you didn't see it
And your child was being violent too!?

In this instance though, another parent backed the OP up saying that they had been bullying her child.

There is something the playcentre can do, bottom line they won't make money if people don't return. The OP isn't going to return, the parent who backed her up may not return, friends the OP talks to may not go. If I go to a soft play area and some kids are out of control, I don't go back. I want my children to play in a safe area and I don't want to have to worry about them. From a profit perspective the managers should step in.

I do nicely ask children to calm down or watch for the little ones if they get a bit excited. This certainly wouldn't include three children ganging up on other children and kicking them in the balls.

Olympia, another parent saw it and backed up my son.

Yes you were facetious Trixie, but it is enough to have ONE older mature person on duty (or a bouncer ) who can handle trickier situations with some authority.

In my sons case, there were no less than three really big children that basically pounced on him as he came down the slide. I think most people would react by trying to kick out to protect themselves.

I will email them. I will leave reviews. And I will be talking about it. Anybody who is googling and looking for reviews for soft play places to play in West London, will learn that it is filthy in the extreme, that there is not enough staff, not enough places to sit, nowhere to leave your clothes, the toilets are dirty, lacking in both soap and toilet paper, that it is overpriced, the slush is not even "icy", there are only teenagers on duty, and that they have a "cool down" policy which allow violent children who harass other guests to have a snack and a drink before returning to play, after assaulting other patrons.

I assume the children doing the kicking are 10+yrs too? If they did this in the street they could be arrested and charged for assault. They would not be given a drink and some chocolate.

I agree there needs to be a clear policy. I think there is a higher degree of rough and tumble in soft play places but deliberatly hurting another child is not playing.

The staff should have said anymore and they'll be asked to leave. My first 'proper' job at 17yo was in a soft play centre and when instances like this occured I would tell the children themselves this and the manager would talk to the parents. And yes, we did ask people to leave and we even banned 1 family!

I'm so sorry for you, your poor Ds .
My local soft play which is a tiny charity run place for smaller kids, has a policy of banning kids who cause trouble - one tot was banned for biting, not because she bit but because her mum refused to discipline her for persistently biting other kids.
Unfortunately I doubt the place you went to would do this because it sounds really badly run and only open to extract the maximum amount of money from parents.

If its truly filthy, call trading standards, a soft play in my town was shut down because it was never cleaned!

'teeneagers on duty is a problem that can be overcome'

They're probably offering a wage that only teenagers woukd take. As a business their sole aim is to make money, so they aren't going to offer more to get better qualified and more mature staff on the basis of one parent complaining. It's a shame but that's how it is in many industries, I was a carer at 17 looking after the mentally ill and infirm elderly for 3.63 an hour!

A good point about trading standards. Thanks. I will call them tomorrow.

Ha every company gets threatened by trading standards. You do realise nothing will happen?

I did actually have an issue at a softplay center when ds1 was 3, and the center got closed by heath and safety for 3 days for investigation. So, sometimes something will happen.

Seems I am out of luck when it comes to soft play centers....

So you've had issues in the past? Interesting.

Fair trading has since changed. It's a lot more complicated now. I know because I have reported someplace myself.

Why is that "interesting" ?

The issue in the past was more related to the actual equipment, as my son came down the slide bleeding quite a lot from a head wound. They needed to assess the safety, if there was something sharp by the slide or playframe.

The manager did not take his injury seriously at all, and refused to have anybody go in to investigate, as it would "interfere" in play.
I called health and safety the following day, and they took it very seriously.

I am not usually one to complain about stuff. I am a bit of a pushover.

So you called health and safety, not fair trading. There's a big difference.

OP were the assailants older than your DS? If they are over 10 they can be held responsible for criminal actions. Call the police and report this assault.

They looked older than 10. But I dont know for sure.

My son says he thinks they were 12-13.
You reckon the police can do much? I dont know who they are, where they live, what school they attend, etc...