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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people without children should not take leave in the school holidays

179 replies

JazzyPants · 03/06/2012 13:43

I work in a place where we have to negotiate who has what weeks off, in order that we can still do our jobs properly. I've noticed that people who don't have children of school age are asking for 2 weeks off in the school holidays. I don't think this is really very fair and these people should take their leave outside the main school holidays, so that those of us who have children can take the time with them.

Am I Being Unreasonable about this?

OP posts:
knowitallstrikesagain · 05/06/2012 13:32

Anyone who does a reverse AIBU deserves these kinds of responses. Don't bollox around in your opening post and then expect people to follow all your drama.

(And yes, I did read the thread and commented with this in mind, but honestly, reverse AIBUs are so bloody annoying!)

ontheedgeofwhatever · 05/06/2012 13:42

YABU. It is true I did my best in my childless 20s to work through the holiday periods so that people with children could take the time when they needed to (and anyway holidays outside school holidays were cheaper and less crowded). However on those occasions I needed to take holiday in school holidays I'd have bitterly resented being told i couldn't because I had no children

Klippie · 22/12/2013 11:49

When you and your spouse want to go away on holiday, both you and your spouse should try and get your leave on the same dates, it is the same when you have children, they only get leave during school holidays......

OneUp · 22/12/2013 14:48

Zombie

Finola1step · 22/12/2013 14:56

One of the easiest YABU I have ever seen.

Finola1step · 22/12/2013 14:57

Zombie! Bugger, I'm usually pretty good at spotting those.

angelinajelly · 22/12/2013 15:41

It's also unfair for parents to swoop in and book up all the days off around bank holidays. One of my staff did that the first year she worked for me, before I put two and two together. We had a rule that only one person could be off at any one time, so it meant no-one else on the team could take advantage of the long weekends. Once I realised, I made sure that everyone got an equal crack of the whip and time booked off at popular times was discussed between the team first. Everyone's holidays are important and everyone has their own equally valid reasons for wanting them- no-one should automatically get first dibs.

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/12/2013 16:22

I used to work all the holidays (to be nice to those with kids) till I was told that I couldn't have a day off due to several parents wanting to go to their children's nativity play.

I had booked my nice skiing break 6 months in advance, I told them to "fuck off" and was hauled up in front of the CEO because of it. My response was the same and told them to fire me if they didn't like it.

For my remaining time there none of the parents spoke to me. When I left I left in the middle of the summer holidays when they where short handed.

Trills · 22/12/2013 16:39

I agree with myself, above :o

HaroldTheGoat · 22/12/2013 16:39

Massively massively massively UR!

Good grief.

mrsjay · 22/12/2013 16:42

Yabu why should they have their holidays in say may just because you have children, get your holidays in earlier. people can't say I work I want to be equal and then want time of for their kids

EnlightenedOwl · 22/12/2013 16:44

Jesus.
And for those of us who don't have kids but go on hols with people who work in schools so can only have school hols off - what's your answer to that then?
How entitled.....
if my work tried to enforce this one I'd sue

AngelsWithSilverWings · 22/12/2013 16:49

Oh dear! I'm a parent now after adopting but was childless for 10 years while trying unsuccessfully to conceive.

All that kept me going throughout that period of my life was holidays. We owned a time share that often fell over the Easter holidays. I'm sorry but if I needed to take the time off at Easter I did.

We also always went away for Xmas as we found that a particularly difficult time to cope with being childless. We deserved that time off from work as much as our colleagues with kids did.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/12/2013 16:49

Ohh a goady post for Christmas, how lovely! Grin

OP... not only should you never be allowed any leave at all, your children should be removed from you and given to people who wouldn't dream of depriving others of taking leave during the holiday season. Happy Christmas!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/12/2013 16:54

Not only that, a 'reverse' goady post. You should be struck off, OP, just for that. Do you really think that people would change their views just because you've gone from with children to none in a few keystrokes?

ladypete · 23/12/2013 09:43

Your children should not affect their lives. YABU

Thants · 23/12/2013 09:50

I think you can't expect people to do this. But personally as I don't have children I do choose to take my holiday not in school holidays unless it is something that is a set to a specific date because of this reason. I do think parents seeing their kids is important.

KittensoftPuppydog · 23/12/2013 10:06

Many people without children try to take holidays outside of school holidays.
It's usually cheaper and quieter. If they are taking their holidays at a time that inconvenient for you, maybe it is because they have lives too!
Yes people without children do have to fit in with their work schedule, partner's work, other commitments.
You don't get divine rights over the most popular holiday times of the year because you have sprogged. Your choice.

6cats3gingerkittens · 23/12/2013 10:16

Just because you have children doesn't mean the world has to revolve round you. How selfish and mean . I have worked with people who thought like you, and it wasn't the only thing that they were so selfish about. They made life very unpleasant.
Are you just stirring things a bit?

AntoinetteCosway · 23/12/2013 10:26

I'm a teacher and now a parent and I mourn that I have never and now will not for 16 years be able to take a holiday during 'term time'! But of course it's not unreasonable for non-parents to have holidays in school holidays. Completely ridiculous for parents to think they're more entitled.

Joysmum · 23/12/2013 10:34

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!

REVERSE AIBU too. Blooming annoying but I can see why.

One thing I didn't notice when I skim read through was that employers also have a legal duty to parental rights in employment so it's not just a case of holiday wishes for parents. I often wonder how small businesses ever manage to run effectively given the amount of employment hassles they need to be flexible on that's not to say I don't agree with those rights, just that it must be hard

Caitlin17 · 23/12/2013 10:41

YABVU.

NurseRoscoe · 23/12/2013 10:47

I don't think you are being 'entitled' (I LOATHE that word). Some people, places and policies make it so difficult for people to have children! Reproducing is human nature FGS! It's a very common thing and should be taken into account along with disabilities & religion when making working and every day life adaptable!

Whilst people who have children may have a reason to take their holidays then, it would be courteous for them to avoid it if they can! I always did before I had children! The fact that a parent is working and not sat at home on benefits (which is becoming a lot easier to become a choice rather than a necessity for some people nowadays) is commendable, employers should encourage it rather than making it a nightmare & calling people entitled if they actually want to spend a bit of time with their kids before they are grown up and don't want to spend all their wages on childcare.

IsItMyArseOrMyElbow · 23/12/2013 10:59

A close friend of mine is childless after nearly 20 years of trying and failed IVF procedures, and has had to have a full hysterectomy a few weeks ago. She will probably spend the whole of the Christmas period in bed, sobbing her heart out.

Maybe her work should phone her and ask her to come in as she may be inconveniencing someone who has managed to have a child?

Having said that, as a reasonable human being, before having a child of my own, I used to give my colleagues first grabs on annual leave during school holidays, just to make their lives that little bit easier. (Plus I didn't want to spend my holidays paying over the odds and being surrounded by other people's kids!)

BerryChristmas · 23/12/2013 11:24

I make absolutely irrefutably sure that my holiday are most certainly are ONLY during Term Time I can assure you. Last thing I want to be is surrounded by kids when I am lounging in the sun in Tenerife!!