People that make put down comments all the time

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

AIBU to get pissed off with it and want to tell them to shut the fuck up.

There is a mum at DD2's school who cannot seem to say anything without a sting in the tail and a nasty dig. Our DDs are friends so it's difficult to keep a distance from her but I do try....

For example yesterday she approached me in the playground 'Hello, what have you been up to today?' Me 'Oh just a bit of housework, not much really'. Her (whilst throwing back head and laughing) 'Oh I'm really not one for housework. I prefer to actually spend time with my children rather than clean.

She is very competitive and seems intent on proving she is the best mother for some reason. 'Oh yes your DD goes to X dancing lessons doesn't she? My DD goes to Y for her lessons, they're more expensive there but then you get what you pay for with this kind of thing don't you?', and comments at 3 year old DS 'oooh what's mummy given you for a snack today then? Gosh, none of mine would know what that is as we're so health conscious'. She'll ask me a question and then use my reply as a springboard to make a put down and again try to prove to herself that she, of course, is better than me.

I feel like saying 'Yes, you win, you are the better mother/have the more advanced child' as soon as she opens her mouth!

How am I being too nice, thepeoplesprincess? I'm confused

Simply by continuing to stand there and take it. You don't have to put up with it, honest injun. If you don't feel able to challenge her (either politely or otherwise!!) when she speaks to you like you're something on the bottom of her shoe, then just physically walk off. Or stop acknowledging her in the first place when she comes up to you. Or just kick her in the clunge.

What's hilarious is turning the disadvantage (not doing any housework) into an advantage (I spend so much time with my children!) Really a good slapping is the only way to deal with that kind of person but probably not advised.

How about "Ah well each to his own". That's quite a neutral way of responding, not rude, but doesn't suggest you agree her way is best

I have someone I used to know (not bumped into her for a while now, the last time I saw her I ran in the oppsite direction) and I realised that everytime we spoke there would always be a snidey comment or an attempt at one upmanship. I have told myself that I will use the 'did you intend to be so rude/do you realise how rude that sounds if I have courage.

I have spoken to another two friends who have the same issue with her so its not just me and I dont care how high ranking her husband is... she is not

I use to work with someone like this, it ended by me saying 'will you just shut up and fuck off'.

It worked, she avoided me for ages

My previous next door neighbour used to be like that. I used to have to think very clearly before answering any of her (very nosy) questions or observations I was very glad when I eventually moved because it was quite stressful trying to think up very bland and neutral things to say to her.

When she brags about not allowing her children space to breathe in her filthy house because she is such a 'good' mother she needs to hover over them you could brag about how grateful you are that your little darling/s is/are so independent they just love playing with their friends, reading and doing their art projects which is wonderful because then you get to enjoy their company in your lovely clean home, you couldn't live in a dirty home of course, eww..

Do what she does and turn around everything she says into a positive for you and an insult for her. Be super nice and smiley about it.

If you can't be bothered to do that you could laugh at her when she starts boasting and walk off or just bluntly ignore her.

I've found a "good for you" response can be really good, especially when I'm in a bad mood and have no patience what so ever to deal with people like this.

Granted I sound like a bitch but then I don't really care. It's only the school run.

Gosh she sounds awful.

My son used to do it to make him feel better about himself due to low self esteem/struggling at school.

Then he realised it just alienated people, didn´t make school easier & the good feeling that he got wasn´t long lived & it wasn´t worth it.

IE-he grew up!

treadheavily, no I'm not low in confidence and I don't spend any time with her. She just comes and stands with me at pick up.

So move away, then she can't talk to you. It really is that simple.

Read 'Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason' if you haven't already - Rebecca and her 'jellyfish' comments. Exactly the same. It won't stop it but it might help you laugh at it more!

She sounds pitiful and I expect she hasn't got that many good friends because of it - as far as you can just let it wash over you; you don't have to invite her children around, or her on mothers' nights out (if such things exist...).