To worry that all of the well-off parents at my DC school think...

[TheHouseOnTheCorner]

that we're not as good as them? We're quite new to the school and the parents we've met are nice and friendly...DD aged 7 has been asked on a couple of playdates and made some friends...but I keep looking at their cars and clothes and worrying what they will think of us when I return the playdates!

It's a state school...a very good one in a nice village...we're there by default really as we couldn't get in locally...a lot of the parents come from the village we live in which is the next one to the school iyswim.

I have begun to worry that they will look down on us...they mostly have really posh cars and houses which are worth more than ours...we don''t even have a car at all!

I know they've ben nice but can you tell me...if you're well-off etc do you judge the parents of your DC friends who are not?

We're both in the arts my DH and I...whilst they are all MDs and things...they also mostly have 10 or 15 years on us in terms of age and have had their DC older....so maybe waited till' finacially sound first (unlike us!)

We have a fledgling business that really isn't making much profit yet...we're struggling and I am feeling nervous of these nice people (they are nice in the main) seeing my shittily decorated house.

Agree with all the others - if you're going to be judged for material wealth you wouldn't want to know them anyway. Be proud of who you are and what you have - never show that you feel inferior because you're really not. A lot these rich people might not have come from money and will have had childhoods that you can relate to. I have the crappiest old car in the school but I never let it worry me. And because it doesn't worry me it doesn't worry my DS and kids from all income brackets are his friend and he's never had anything said to him. Never apologise to anyone for not having the best of everything. You really don't need to, people will either like you or not.

"The people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind."

I judge people by how they are and not what they have- it is unimportant.

Nearly everyone I've met since having DS2 seems to be younger than me and live in a very minimalist house with everything painted magnolia and a few twigs in vases here and there. I wonder how they can afford to have their houses so decorated and coordinated maybe it's because they hardly have anything in there and how they keep them so clean with DC around when ours looks like a second hand shop that has had a hurricane through. I too hope that people don't judge if and when they come here, we've always invited people to neutral places so far.

heehee OP I'm the mirror reverse of you - we have a fantastic house, looks so impressive like we are ultra, ultra posh...but we are renting. It is my parents house. Their house, mostly their furniture, not my taste at all. I feel embarrassed giving people my address because I know they will look at me, the house, the address and think 'eh?' She's such a cheapskate scruff and her car is ancient!' We're cheapskate so we can afford the rent.

I dread DS having friends round if I don't know the parents - they see the house and assume we are minted. What they don't see is that my cupboards are stacked with Sainsburys Basics, I haven't had a haircut in 18 months, and I spend a lot of time on survey sites earning credits to buy clothes etc.

Seriously, don't worry. if you looked at me, you'd think that I'm judging you. I'm not. I'm wishing I had a house I owned that I could decorate however I wished because it's mine.

We are comfortably off. I would never look down on anyone for lacking in material possessions. I'd probably notice it and be considerate about it, e.g. I wouldn't propose dinner at any expensive restaurant with my civil servant friends whilst I might with my City banker friends. But I would never judge. And would probably have as much fun with the former at pizza express as I would with the latter at The Savoy.

I judge people by how they behave, not what they own.

No. We are wealthy and I would never do this! Would you? Having money doesn't change the person you are (or it shouldn't). If anyone did go off you for that reason I'd say let them and be grateful for it...

Finding a friend with the same kind of mind and interests is what matters to me.

If you'd know precisely how rarely other people think of you, you wouldn't worry as much about what it is that they are thinking! ;)

crescentmoon I totally disagree with you. My children had slippers and wellies from Shoezone and jimjams from Primark. They go to very exclusive schools and I really couldn't care two figs about that stuff.

That's what my Dad says Glenshee! People are mostly concerned about their own lives.

"rich in love and home-grown veg" awwww.

I really don't think people DO judge about those things - certainly not the people who matter. The scruffiest people I know are the ones with the Picasso etching in the downstairs bog or who wear a delectable pair of £40k diamond drop earrings with holey socks and worn clarks sandals (with a skirt ).

I have to say in all my experience with schools and parents only 2 well 3 have been really snooty to me . one set are office managers and they love to tell people they are office managers , and really look down their noses at 'the plebs' and another who baffles a lot of people , she is just snooty will only mix with the glam mums , she used to live in the flats over from me kids same age but she would blank me , her loss cos im an amazing person

Mrs Jay .....the only time I felt a bit 'iffy' about being poorer than the other mums was when ds came home with a very posh chocolate ice cream bought by his friends mum and his friend had told the mum he would wait as 'nickschick has orange jubblies in her freezer'.