To sit and stare at my neighbours house just incase something happens?

[Gatorade]

Firstly, I know it's none of my business but this worries me.

I was chatting to my neighbour yeaterday as she was heading off out for a run. She mentioned her 2 year old DS was asleep inside the house (alone). I gently queried how often she left him, to which she replied for half an hour every week day while she runs, as he sleeps reliably and doesn't wake up. I must have made an 'eeek' face as she then (very nicely) explained that mum knows best. I even offered to pop around and sit with my DD in the house while she runs but she thought I was being neurotic.

So AIBU to sit and stare at the house while she runs to check smoke doesn't start poring out?! Or maybe even sit in the garden incase the poor little mite wakes up screaming (although not sure what I could do about that....)

Both my dcs were in little toddler beds by about 20 months, so he'll surely be able to escape from his cot by age 2

I wouldn't give the mother the benefit of the doubt Josie. If someone can't think for themselves about what could happen when they bugger off out for half an hour everyday, whilst leaving their 2 yr old at home alone, then I would wonder what other things they are also not getting right with regard to parenting.

Op, I can see you were in a difficult position there, and for what it's worth, I think you've done the right thing. I'm sure the hv will find a subtle way to deal with it.

But what is there was a fire or he fell and hurt himself
Well, things could happen if you had a big house and DS was in a room on a different floor and you were a v sound sleeper and slept for 8 hours a night.

Josie but you would be THERE!

No defence at all.

Nobody sleeps so soundly that they can't hear when their children are in trouble, Josie. Whether you're asleep during the night or not, you're there.

Ah, x-post

gatorade you've done absolutely right thing. Now relax and enjoy the weekend. Don't worry about recriminations and second guesses. It is your neighbour who is in the wrong and you've informed the right people who will (fingers crossed) do their job. You owe this woman nothing and done a huge good deed for her dc. Hold your head high

You have definitely done the right thing.

My youngest was a climber and before she was 12 months she had dived out of her cot headfirst.

At that age ds could climb out of his cot, open the stair gate, move a chair to reach the lock and open the front door.

Can't believe she thinks its ok to do this and really cant believe that she cannot be bothered to wait until her dh gets home.

Well done Gatorade for going to talk to her about it.

Not sure if someone has said it already, but calls to childline are completely confidential if you're worrying about it being traced back to you.

Josie what a rubbish argument. If your child was sick in the night or fell out of bed or got stuck down the side of the bed (are mine the only ones that did that) they would cry and you would hear them. I'm all for independence and so on, at the appropriate age, but surely there is no-one who thinks 2 years old is the right age to be home alone. No-one, in pretty much any culture I would imagine.

"What would SS do does anyone know"

They would put the child on a 'plan', which would include unannounced visits to the house and possibly the attendance of parenting classes and activities with the child.

This would only be for about 6 months and they will see that the child is registered to attend nursery at 3.

"JosieZ Fri 01-Jun-12 19:09:17
But what is there was a fire or he fell and hurt himself
Well, things could happen if you had a big house and DS was in a room on a different floor and you were a v sound sleeper and slept for 8 hours a night."

the thiing is Josie, that as parents it's your responsibility to take every reasonable precaution to ensure your children aren't hurt.
Being in the house with your children, having smoke alarms, using a baby monitor so you can hear your child etc etc are all reasonable things to do.

Deliberately going out and leaving a child is NOT taking reasonable precautions to ensure their welfare is it?

if there was a fire and your child died and you were in the house you could at least say "i did everything i could"... you couldn't say that if you'd left them alone could you?

Mumsy, it is one thing to think a two year old should not be home alone and another to report the mother to the police or SS as many here were suggesting. Mentioning it to the HV is ok though imo.

My mother used to leave me home alone whilst she went to the shops. I think I was about three and I can remember being terrified. I used to wait in the garage until she returned. Even if the two year old is physically safe, there's still the issue of him waking up and wondering where the heck his mother is. It's frightening for a toddler to be alone for any more than a few minutes esp. if he realises that there's no one else in the house with him. Kids aren't stupid and are capable of taking stuff like that in, even if they're small.

josie and who do you think HV will speak too? They have duty of care to inform SS if a child is at risk of harm, such as this little boy. When SS are involved, often police are alerted or on stand by should SS choose to take action. Police are also present at meetings deciding whether to put child on at risk register, which this child may be considered to be.

"Mumsy, it is one thing to think a two year old should not be home alone and another to report the mother to the police or SS"

Nice to see that the recent NSPCC's campaign about child neglect being everyone's duty to report and not ignore, worked

if there was a fire the smoke alarm would hopefully go off

if you are in the house you grab your child and get out

if you are not in the house?

It might be a low risk but it is certainly not one i would be willing to take

Madbanners, my mum did this when we were little, but not that little iyswim, so she thought it would be ok to leave us for5 minutes while she drove to the shop round the corner to get something she needed. Thing is on the way back a dog ran out on front of the car and she hit it. Obviously she had to stick around and speak to the owner etc. she was really shaken up and bystanders were offering to take her inside their house for a cuppa etc. but of course she daren't admit she had left 2 kids at home. When she finally got home we were both fine, but she had learnt her lesson that's for sure. She said she had never been so worried in her life. And of course I would never do it now after hearing that story. I run, and I much prefer going I the mornings, but dp goes to work at 5am, so he is out by the time I get up. I am a mother, so I have simply accepted I have had to adjust my running schedule accordingly and go when he's home.

josie... it's against the law to abandon your child. and yes, leaving them alone in the house would count as abandonment

so it's not OTT to suggest speaking to social services or the health visitor.

heck, if i knew a neighbour was doing this i would call the police if i saw them leave the house