To be upset that I look bloody awful in some photos

[rookiemater]

I'm 42 I struggle with my weight ( think I may be peri menopausal) but at 5ft6 and around 11st I'm not ginormous. I exercise quite a lot and try to eat reasonably healthy but I do have a sweet tooth, plus the usual pressures of working with a child elderly parents and a stressful job albeit part time.

Anyway recently some close relatives that I hadn't seen for a while came to visit, it was wonderful to see them. I asked them to send some photos of our trip as I'm doing a photo album for my parents 50th.

Anyway sorry to ramble but I'm so disgusted with myself for how I look in the photos. I look huge, like a bloody tank with loads of double chins, my face looks so old and my teeth are revoltingly yellow.

I have been trying to cut back but I don't want to go on a diet I feel like I have been on a diet all my life.

I am annoyed as well as these photos should be a memory of a really happy time instead I can't bear to look at them because I look like a freak. I'm trying to rise above it - the happiest people I know seem to care very little about their looks, but I can't.
AIBU to be upset about this.

Aww!

1. You probably look a lot better than you think - you are focusing on the negatives
2. Some people are gorgeous but not photogenic. DD is a pretty little elfin type with blond curls and huge eyes but she sort of freezes when she sees a camera and often looks really unattractive

YANBU to be upset, but YABU to think things will change unless you are prepared to put some work into it.

I am the same age as you, and I know how hard it is to maintain a healthy weight.

For the moment though, use a photo editing program, and you can whiten your teeth and photoshop yourself a bit so that you are happier with the photos. Better that than forever be upset about an album of photos that you cant enjoy because you hate them.

Listen hun, I am not going to judge you for this, but I am the same height and 9 stone heavier.
I get a bit cheesed off sometimes, but I am a fully functioning morbidly obese person!
I have two young children, work 33 hours a week and go to college too.
Right back to you................... same as me, if it really upsets you, you will do something about it, if it only bothers you long enough to post, then you won't.
I get temporarily bothered! So do nothing and then accept that, but soon I will need to do something to progress with my college work, so I will join Slimming world.
You are nowhere near grossly overweight, even the docs would not suggest it, but if it makes you unhappy enough to do something about it then do so, if it doesn't then don't!!

I am 44 btw!

i am 5'3 and 12 stone so share some of your charateristics.

I used to hate myself and it really showed in photos.
then i got a reason to be happy, after 13 years of trying i fell preganant (with IVF) and i decided that i didnt want DD to have loads of photos with me looking so terrible.

so i began to smile in photos, great big cheesy, split your face in half smiles. you know what, i'll never be Cindy Crawford (too many health issues to do anythink sensible about the situation)

and you know what .... everyone comments on my smile, everyone. the happiness is what they see, not the teeth, not the blubber, not the wildly frizzy hair, but the smile.

Stick the photos on the fridge as a good deterrent. Next time spray tan and rehearse your smile. But in twenty years time your look at those photos and think 'God i look young there'.

Thanks prozack and others I think that what I was trying to put across.

At the end of the day I could probably lose some weight, lord knows I have lost weight several dozen times, keeping it off is the issue and I am trying to experiment with eating healthily but not necessarily focusing on weight loss. However even if I lose weight I'm still looking older and uglier and its not how I look in my head.

Maybe I will try photoshopping

I hate myself in photos. I think it runs in the family - after my granny died we went through photo albums and she had cut herself out of every one

I'm 5'4-1/2" and 11st 4lb at the moment. I'm post menopausal and have just grown to love my blobby self again. I think it's grief for that old size 10. It's fine - I think you just need to grow into your new self and dress to enhance it and to enjoy it. Struggling to shed half a stone though but it's so hard nowadays.

That's really sad aboutlastnight and I guess it emphasizes why I hate this it feels so bloody trivial. I have a lovely DH and DS and a nice life, it was so wonderful to see my cousins as I hadn't seen them for years, these are the things that are important, not if I'm not as young or thin looking as I used to be.
On a slightly unrelated note marriedinwhite where do you get clothes these days - I find it hard to know how to dress I'm fine for work but struggle with casual stuff think I'm not the right shape for jeans but don't know what else to wear.

Can I let you into a secret? People only look at themselves in photos. At most, someone will have glanced at you. If there are any kids in them, you've no chance.

Photos aside, I bet you are being super critical of yourself. Look around you and you will see noraml people looking ... well normal.

Prosac, sound lovely :)

Ha ha Yama - that is probably true - I snuck a cursory glance at my cousins in the photo but probably to assess how big they looked compared to me!

I look haunted in photographs!
People tell me I'm pretty though. Some people just aren't photogenic.

YES! I am so unphotogenic but am an acceptable looking person in real life

I look like I have fallen out of the ugly tree bumping every branch on the way down in photos....I do not have photos taken now. Feel a bit sad for my kids though as they won't have any of me when I die.

I'm sure you look better than you think you do. I'm larger than you and although I'm not delighted when I see a photo of myself, it doesn't bother me too much either. I bet you look fine!

I always look like a total TROLL in photos! I refuse to be photographed whenever I can!
DS is a Corrie addict, and insisted that I have my photo taken with the chap who played Martin Platt, who was working at the same place as me last weekend. I looked like a fat bird who's face is melting off!

I am very similarly built to you and, also like you I exercise alot and I have a sweet tooth. I loathe photos of myself. I actually don't consider myself "vain" or particularly hung up on my appearance but if I see a horrendous photo of myself it embarrasses me for ages.........however, if I look at it a few months later I often think that i was being a bit silly and I don't actually look too bad!

everyone needs to do this and just get on with being happy

rookie in summer I live in Boden linen trousers and Per Una lightweight ones. Per Una trousers and jeans (although I don't wear blue denim anymore) fit me perfectly. For slightly more dressy stuff I have some Phase 8.

11 stone at 5ft 6 is not fat. It's within a healthy BMI and is a size 12

No one likes themselves in photos. I deeply mistrust anyone who looks at a phot of themselves and says "ooh don't I look amazing"

I can't bear to look at pics of myself :(

Am sure you look just fine though and agree with the poster who said people only look at themselves

Sorry you are not feeling good about yourself, but don't draw conclusions based on photos.

I am 99.9% sure that one side of my face isn't noticeably higher than the other side but pretty much all photos of me say it is!