To be upset that I look bloody awful in some photos

[rookiemater]

I'm 42 I struggle with my weight ( think I may be peri menopausal) but at 5ft6 and around 11st I'm not ginormous. I exercise quite a lot and try to eat reasonably healthy but I do have a sweet tooth, plus the usual pressures of working with a child elderly parents and a stressful job albeit part time.

Anyway recently some close relatives that I hadn't seen for a while came to visit, it was wonderful to see them. I asked them to send some photos of our trip as I'm doing a photo album for my parents 50th.

Anyway sorry to ramble but I'm so disgusted with myself for how I look in the photos. I look huge, like a bloody tank with loads of double chins, my face looks so old and my teeth are revoltingly yellow.

I have been trying to cut back but I don't want to go on a diet I feel like I have been on a diet all my life.

I am annoyed as well as these photos should be a memory of a really happy time instead I can't bear to look at them because I look like a freak. I'm trying to rise above it - the happiest people I know seem to care very little about their looks, but I can't.
AIBU to be upset about this.

This is why Instagram, Hipstamatic and other apps were invented, am convinced. There is not a photo of me that has not been filtered about 6 times... And consequently I look great although sometimes blurry, hipstery or from the 1960s

The ordinary camera is no-one's friend

I hate how I look in every single photograph (bar about 6 in my whole life!)

But when I go back years later and look at them again, I realise I look ok, I'm just hyper critical of myself.

And obviously have low self-esteem around the way I look.

Tis a pain as I deliberately keep out of / avoid photographs, and hence have lots of photos of my DH and my children, but very few of us all together.

It's the legacy of having taller, prettier, more confident siblings too, I expect.

I look terrible in photos and am 8 and a half stone and 5'4"! I am quite fit too so it's just me I think! I am 49. I used to be 13 and a half stone, and looked terrible then too!!! I just think some people look dreadful in pictures full stop. Now I just dont get photographed... :-)

Thanks all - I'm glad I'm not the only one. I also look very lopsided in photos kungfupanda like one side of my face is sagging and the other one is not.

It must be a self esteem issue rather than a weight one. In my 20s I lost loads of weight and then got incredibly fixated about an "ugly" hair do and my big nose The only photos I am truly happy with are ones when I lost loads of weight by smoking 40 a day and surviving on less than a 1000 calories a day - plus I was 20 then.

I'm slightly nervous about going on holiday in a few weeks as well, which is just so stupid because we are fortunate enough to be going away with two other families and I am great friends with the other Mums, they are both tiny though and even when I am thin I look like the (not so) jolly green giant beside them.

I guess the solution is to avoid the cameras, or be the one taking the photos so i can photoshop them !

Just do what all the rest of us do, don't ever look at the photos again and only display those magical ones in which we look amazing.

By the sounds of it OP, you are not alone, we all think we are monsters!

I can't bear any pictures of myself, I ming. There are very few pictures of me and the DC, which I am sad about, I just can't bear it.

I graduate next year, and I'm considering missing the ceremony because of it.

That is so sad Missmogwi - can you go but not have any photos taken?

It is sad, and pathetic really.

I should just do it really as I have worked very hard on this degree (when I'm not drinking coffee and watching daytime tv), but I've put 30 odd years into my picture phobia and it's a hard habit to break.

Maybe we all need a kick up the arse!

Well done on working for a degree that's brilliant.

At least for graduation there is very little on show as the body is all covered up in the robe and the funny hat thing detracts attention from facial features. I was mingingly drunk the night before graduation and all I can remember when I see the photos ( where clearly I do look a tad rough) is how dreadful I felt for the 3 hour ceremony in a stuffy hall.

Please go - do it for me! Just tell your loved ones not to bring their cameras.

OP I think you're being a bit hard on yourself. Are you just comparing how you are now to how you used to be?

This is a typical DM ploy - 40 year old woman looks 20 years older than her 20 year old self. I think they do it to Kate Moss regularly.

I hate photos pf myself. TBH even when I was younger and much slimmer, I hated them at the time. There are very few photos of me - I am always the one with the camera. This is mainly because I love cameras and taking photographs, but it does generally assure that I am the one behind the lens and not on the picture.

I do have the odd photo - memories and all that. But very few.

Hearts - it might be that I'm not sure, its probably a bit of mourning my youth as well. I read the DM as well ( online only of course) and I realise that judging people on their looks is not healthy but can't seem to stop it and am way kinder to other folks than to myself.

Learn how to pose, practice taking photos of yourself and see which angles suit you best. Everyone has a 'good side'. Most people look better when their face is at an angle to the camera rather than face on.

Honestly a bit of practice and you'll greatly reduce the amount of photos you want to delete.

I hate photos of myself too but now I think sod it, I look like how I look and having it in a photo won't change anything so now I just smile at the camera and forget about it.

They're probably just bad photos but you can always try to better yourself if you genuinely don't like certain aspect.

There was a thread in mn style and beauty that was raving on about a teeth whitening product you can pick up from boots. In fact the threads in that area are brilliant on picking up tips on little changes you can make that could make a big difference to your confidence, which I think this is all its really about.

Do you know what, some people photo well, others don't. I thinks I'm good for my age (41) - inherited good genes, long legs, tall, good teeth but BOY do I look shit in 99.99% of photos taken of me. Whatever setting, holiday, family gathering, girls night out - I may hve gone out thinking 'looking good VonHerr, not bad' but see a photo of the night/event and look so bad it puts me on a huge downer.

So I don't let people take pics of me unless absolutley necessary. Call it vanity, whatever. I WILL TAKE THE PHOTOS!!!

Missmowgi I graduated with an MBA when I was 48 - along with all the glam 20 years olds. I paid a little bit more to have the pics airbrushed. I'm not all that keen on it but my dh and mum love it - and it was worth the extra.

Air brushing you say?

I'd have to have my face pixilated like I was in a witness protection program.

Only some photos? Lucky you! I reckon I look dire in nearly all of them.
Don't mind, don't care, though.

Let me give you some posing tips (given to me by prof photographer!)

Always stand three-quarters on to camera - never full on

Don't have arms flat at your side - will make them look big - move them away from your body by an inch.

to prevent double chin - lift your chin and then move your jaw as if you're trying to give yourself an underbite.

Good advice, Nancy. About a stone and a half ago, I went to a black tie do, wore a ballgown for the first time ever. I had a couple of photos of me taken face on and I looked like a Russian shot-putter. I also had one taken with me standing 3/4 on and I looked bloody gorgeous!

It's those pesky shots-around-a-table that I hate. My arms always look like a leg of pork. And I'm the same height and weight as you.

Oooh I hate photo's of myself, there is one that I like, taken years ago when I had lost weight. I just look like a moose now.

Anyway I used to work with someone who was absolutely stunning, she was beautiful but she was not photogenic an any way shape or form. Not everyone is.

I am not photogenic. I am however really good at Photoshop

I'm 39 and 5 6" and also around 11 stone....I don't think I look like a tank! I have sarted yoga which does a lot for posture...you may be "too relaxed" or "lazy" with your body so look bigger in pics.

I suggest you lift up your chin, sit up straight, get your teeth whitened and change your makeup...you'll be fine. Think about an overhaul generally....new hairdo?

Can I expand on the double chin advice...just press your tongue to the roof of your mouth...instant chin lift.

All the above advice really does work re: posing for photos.

I got married in April and was dreading the photo sessions as i always look God awful in pics. A couple of weeks before the day i went online and looked up tips for having a decent picture taken, found various sites, remembered the advice and was sooooo glad i did. My wedding photos are ok In some i even look nice!