To judge parents who really swear at their DC's?

[grumblinalong]

I was in the supermarket yesterday lunchtime and a man was in there with his 2/3 year old DS. The little boy was kicking off and laying in the aisle screaming. The dad said in a low, menacing voice 'Get off the f-ing floor you f-ing c'.

I was and looked at him sharply. I said to the little boy 'I don't want to run you over with my trolley so do you want to get up off the floor please' very smiley smiley because I thought a bit of kindness might help. The little boy was shocked a stranger had spoken to him, got up and the dad said 'Thanks' and smiled at me and walked off.

I went back to work and relayed the story to my colleagues, we work in children's services and the majority of us have dc's of our own. I'd say half thought it was horrible parenting and half thought the dad was probably just having a bad day and we shouldn't judge. I have to say I judged him, not only on the words but his tone - I have plenty of bad days with my dc's and my mothering is far from perfect but I'm pretty certain I have never said those particular swear words directly to my dc's, maybe under my breath have said ffs in frustration. AIBU and stuffy to judge? Is it an indication of bad parenting or just a bad day? It's really weighing on my mind.

I had a parent complain to me that her 10 year old son was swearing at home, and I pointed out that he'd never heard an adult swear in school, or children in class, but I'd monitor what was happening in the playground more closely.
To which she replied, ' Oh, I sometimes lose it at home, like I'll yell get up them fucking stairs you little shit, but miss, you don't expect them to talk back to you like that do you?'

Yes I do you dozy cow, kids learn by example.

"Are you saying (and I may have got this wrong) that children's services staff must remain completely non judgemental"

You work to remove your bias, then gather as much fact as you can, then evaluate risk. It depends what you are judging, if you consider it poor parenting, then it is, but that is all that it is and it may be becase of various factors.

When report writing you state facts and use research to back up any opinion.

I wouldn't use this as a benchmark towards an individual, knowing how much their own upbringing and environment is a factor in how they treat their children.

You are using the fact that you wouldn't do it, to judge him, which is immaterial tbh.

I found that the more my knowledge increased about the effect of marginalisation/poverty etc the less i walked around making judgements about people and it wouldn't occur to me to ask the opinion of anyone who didn't have a level of knowledge/training, tbh.