DH's nephew put a pillow over my baby's face, should I warn parents of other newborn in family?

[booomy]

Sorry name changed! Just incase!

DH's nephew is 6 and so incredibly spoilt. He has been he youngest in the family until my 1year old DD was born and is insanely jealous of DD! When he visits he tried to sit in (and broke) the bumbo, asked to be spoon fed by his mum. he is very babied anyway, he has a bottle before bed and a dummy at night! (he's 6 years old!!!)

I was baby sitting one evening, alone with DD and DH's nepheew. I was cooking dinner for nephew and thought they'd both been quiet. Our living/kitchen is open plan, I didn't leave a baby and a child alone. When I looked over nephew had a pillow over DD's face! I didn't know what to do and said, thaat's not very nice he can't breathe! When his dad collected him I didn't know what to say! i didn't mention the incident but I told MIL the next day. I know she told his mum, but nothing has been mentioned since.

i was willing to let it go, and just keep an eye on them both. I haven't babysitted, and don't intend to look after him again.

Trouble is now there is a new baby in the family.We won't be able to visit for a while as DD is ill, and I've seen on facebook that nephew and his mum are going tomorrow to visit. I was tempted to text mum of newborn and say something along the lines of
"I don't want this to be common knowledge, as it's not fair if it was silly mistake. But wanted to warn you that when nephew cam over, he help a pillow over DD's face. He' been a bit spiteful in other ways, breaking her toys and being rough. Just wanted to warn you to keep an eye out, but like I said please only talk to your DH about it!"

AIBU or not to text newborns mum? I know they won't be alone together anytime soon but may be in the future if new mum gets lumbered with babysitting, whhich she has done pre-new baby!

booomy from what you've said i really think you should get DH to say something. i don't mean this to sound horrible but it does appear that you're not fond of the mother and son and i think you would find it really hard not to put that across in some way even in even light hearted discussions with the baby's parents.

"It was when DD was about 4 months, so a while ago" is the reason for my post.

Are you sure MIL told her that you had reported this behaviour?

cricket do you think I'd be babysitting him if I 'disliked' him? I think up until we had DD he was very sweet. Before she was born we explained a lot about the baby etc
So he was prepared and tried to make him feel involved and welcome. If someone, whatever there age acted like that towards your DC surely you'd be wary of them too?

:DH said mother in law told her. I'm closer to females of the family so I think if anythings said its better coming from me. MIL seemed weird when I told her! I think she thought he was playing but from his other behavior it was more than that!

If he's always been the baby of the family then he wouldnt know how to behave around babies.

6 year olds are rough, they often don't think about consequences. They make a hell of a lot of mistakes. They are clumsy, they break things and they shout. You will soon find out when your DD is that age.

That alone doesnt make your DH's cousin spoilt and spiteful.

I think the best way is to phone the new mum and congratulate etc and somehow naturally get it into the conversation about what he did. Don't use words like 'warning' and 'think you should know' they will make you look like a gossip.

Agree about the dummy and bottle though, they need gooooo.