to not have weaned my four month old son on to solid food yet

[Jamesmom12]

Still feeling rather frustrated after yet another 'debate' with my family about the fact I haven't started weaning my son onto solids yet.

He's my second child and a very healthy bouncing baby - has been steadily on the 91st centile since birth and is a very content little chappy in general. He still wakes up once a night, but I'm taking that as perfectly reasonable for a baby at his age.

However, since he was literally 10 weeks old, my parents have been obsessed with the fact that 'he needs a bit of proper food to get him sleeping through the night'. Now, I know that things were different in their day, and I know that many people still choose to wean their children earlier than six months, and I would happily take on board their comments and smile sweetly, if it wasn't for the constant muttering every time they think I've turned away!

Last night it was the fact that I wouldn't let him eat some ice cream at a family barbecue...when I said I'd rather they didn't try and feed it to him my dad told my db that 'mothers today are ridiculous, I was given evaporated milk from birth and it didn't do any harm."

A few minutes later he couldn't resist but say to me that "you were given ice cream as a baby, why isn't it good enough for your ds."

Now the background to this is that a large number of my family have stomach and bowel problems - my nan and aunt suffer with crohns and my dad and me have irritable bowel syndrome, which plagues our lives.

All the reading I've done says the risk of those kind of illnesses in later life is reduced if you wait until six months to wean. I have also struggled with my weight throughout my life...so when my dad tells me I was on a can of beans and a fried egg for dinner at three months, it doesn't particularly strike me as a good thing.

I'm absolutely not judging anybody else's decisions and I don't want to snap back at my parents anything that might sound as if I blame them for my stomach problems, but I'm getting a little tired of being made out to be an over protective, neurotic mother!

So , would I be unreasonable to lay out all the reasons for not weaning before six months, given the medical evidence and our personal family history, or should I just continue to smile sweetly and let them think I'm being psb (precious second born!).

Your baby,your choice. He most certainly doesn't need weaning into solids yet. My ds has been 91st percentile all the way through. I started weaning at around 5 months.

They are very very very wrong. Yanbu. Personally being a gobby mare I would give them a lecture on it!

I had exactly the same thing with my family. Ignore and do what u think is right. I waited till 6 months and just smiled but ignored what anyone said to me.

Yanbu. There is no evidence which supports early weaning, but plenty to dissuade you.

Reading up in parenting decisions is really important IMO. Good for you. It's not as if he will spontaneously combust if you don't start cramming ice cream in to him just yet!

Just smile and ignore

They would have weaned their babies at a much younger age because that's the medical advice they would have been given.

YANBU.

yanbu at all. Same way they fed you with whatever they thought was right you stick to doing what is right for your child. I waited 6 months too and had the same comments.. People didn't get it. I just ignored them.

98th centile baby here. Only started solids at 6 months. Am using baby-led weaning so it was slow-going initially too. You'll know when your baby's ready for food - they literally try to beg/take it from us. Tell them it's no longer up for discussion.

yanbu to follow the advice given now.
but do remember in the olden days we weaned at 4 months.
do what you think is best and sod anyone else

The British seem to have an obsession with stuffing their babies' faces with crap food weaning unhealthily young. In many countries 6 months is recommended as the minimum, and while some people do choose to wean a bit before that time, very few would do it as early as 4 months. Just tell them times have changed, and medical advances have shown your DS would profit from staying on milk for another two months (or however long you choose to do it). You could then say in a reassuring tone that you know they would never want to harm your child/their grandchild etc, so they should just STFU accept your decision. And walk out of the room if they keep on nagging.

To be frank, next time he does the 'didn't do me any harm' line, I would be tempted to trot out the correlation with digestive problems. I am generally a 'smile and nod' type, but I think if they are really badgering you you might need to step it up a notch.

YANBU. My grandma said to my mum when DD was 5month old that she was going to call social services on me for neglecting my child because we hadn't started weaning. We waited until she was 25weeks.

YANBU. I got the weaning thing from various keen relatives. Now people are saying DS3 should be in a bed by now. He is 16 months and tries to get off DS2's bed head first with the bedguard on. Although he is (probably) my last baby so he may still be in the cot until he leaves home

yes lay of the weaning. Also google and print out a article or two about how early weaning is linked to issues. Give article to parents. Have you ever told them about the negative health links?

I could have written your op myself when ds was 4 months. Everyone I knew wanted him on HBM and solid food practically from the moment he came out. Not to mention the suggestion of rusks in the bottle.

Ignore it, when your ds is a massive 4 year old like mine who wasn't weaned until 6 months you can laugh at them all.

Just wait until the potty training years.

I'd invent a comment by a health visitor or GP. Say that you were asked about your family medical hisory and advised that you should wait til 6 months to lessen the risk of your baby getting Crohns or IBS. Say that you don't feel you can go against medical advice. If they still insist on offering ice cream after that they are very odd.

My family was the same (my DD was 97th centile) so they argued that she NEEDED food when in fact I was of the view that she clearly was getting enough nutrients from her milk.

I BLW'd at 6 months and she's still top of the height and weight charts and just lovely

no harm proven in weaning at 4 months. no benefit either. (UK/ EU stats)

do what you want!!

I think sometimes our parents can feel a bit judged when we don't do things the way they did. My mom has said a few things to that effect--it's like whatever I do differently with DS, she takes it as a critique of her motherhood.

Not advice really, just insight into why they might be pushing so hard. If they can get you to do what they did, it validates their parenting choices, IYSWIM.

That said, I think Crumpetty's suggestion was quite good. Hope you can get them off your back!

I had the inlaws tell me that she was ready for solids from 2 weeks, I always responded with 'oh no, thats so dangerous, their gut isn't developed yet, that will cause problems in later life'. I had to repeat myself constantly for about a month before they started repeating what I said.

In your case you should always respond to your family members comments about how they were fed as babies with 'yes, that causes (whatever disease they have), they know that now, scientifically proven, it's probably why you have it, I don't want mine getting that, when he grows up he'll be grateful I didn't give it to him.'

Lecture them to death, give them 20 minute sermons if you have to, it will shut them up eventually, if only because they can't bear to listen to you anymore. It amazes me how the most unhealthiest people are obsessed with inflicting their ignorance and junk food diet on other peoples babies.

YANBU
I got so sick of this when DD and DS were 3-4 months. MIL insisted that she weaned XP when he was 12 weeks and 'he was eating steak at 4 months'. She was also proud that he used to cook himself burgers aged 4 so go figure! Oh and he is very overweight and has an awful relationship with food (no idea if the two are linked)

Could you say 'You were free to make your own parenting choices and I am free to make my own. I am choosing to wean at 6 months.' then repeat evey time you hear an 'I did this, never did you/them/neighbours cousin once removed any harm' type comment.

I do sympathise but I stuck to my guns and started at 6 months even though DS was a big boy and I was EBF (what MIL thought of that is a whole other thread!) probably because I was lazy too!

I have to say I saw a Facebook comment from someone today re: weaning and she said she started weaning her DS at 6 weeks 'as he was a greedy baby' 4 months fine, 6 weeks and no medical reason for it either.

The advice given 30 odd years ago must have been so different to now, that it's not surprising that so many people have this attitude. My dad (who is normally mild mannered and sensible) kept trying to feed my dd chocolate buttons at Christmas, when she was only 3 months old!