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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Being forced to do school sports

91 replies

Janey62 · 30/05/2012 10:36

Does anyone know the legal position on having to do school sports day?
My daughter is 8, and was very premature, as a result she is still tiny and not strong. She gets trounced in anything sporty by kids her age. Twice now she has come home from sporting events at school looking totally washed out and promptly vomited. Last week I wrote to the class teacher asking for her to be excused sports day as it was going to be 27 degrees and I knew it would happen again. Because she doesn't want to be last all the time she throws herself at it with such effort that she makes herself ill ( and still comes last). Anyway, the teacher told her that there wasn't anywhere shady to sit at the sports ground , so she may as well join in..... Of course the child feels obliged to do so, and subsequently fell over and broke her little finger- we were in A&E until 9pm that night!!!
As you can imagine I'm not very happy with the teacher, but in all other respects she is an excellent teacher.
Should she have complied with my letter and allowed my daughter to sit out?
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 30/05/2012 10:40

I think you need to take her to a Doctor to be honest as that doesn't sound normal.

Perhaps she needs blood tests/her iron levels and diet looking at?

She may be tiny and not strong, but she's 8yrs old.

Reception kids do sports days and they're only 4 and 5yrs.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/05/2012 10:44

She should have complied with your letter IMO, but I also think that unless she is actually ill or injured you shouldn't have asked that in the first place.

I would go for more investigations as to why this is happening. Its not normal for her to throw up just from doing some excercise, and i would be wary of just putting it down to her being premature. If she isn't strong then doing sports will be good for her, you might just need to try a few things out until she finds a form of excersise she likes and can cope with.

hermionestranger · 30/05/2012 10:45

Agree with worra, you need to have her looked at and to be fair she could have broken her finger falling anyway.

Ds1 did sports day yesterday he's in y1. He came last as always, that's life I'm afraid and life is competitive so it doesn't hurt to teach them to deal with it from a young age IMO.

Petsinmyroyalpudenda · 30/05/2012 10:47

I really don't think you can blame the teacher for a broken finger. My son tripped over a flat surface at a snails pace and broke his wrist. Accidents happen

And just because she wont win doesn't mean she should sit out and not even try

GrahamTribe · 30/05/2012 10:51

I can't abide the whole sports day thing and neither can my younger DC. I don't see it as particularly educational and tbh (whoops, I just typed "tbj"! ), I would and have taken my child out of school for the day. Yes, the teacher should have complied with your letter but perhaps next year you might want to avoid the problem in the first place?

seeker · 30/05/2012 10:56

I don't think she should sit out. But I do think that the PE teacher should not let somebody be last in everything every time. That's why, IMHO, sports days, particularly in Primry schools should be a mixture of proper competitive and more fun stuff- preferably involving water!

One thing our school does is run the first heats for the serious sports the day befoe. That way people who are going to come last in everything don't have to do it in front of the whole school and the parents. Thennon the day, there qr egg and spoon races, carrying trays of drinks races and so on. As well as the proper sports.

luckylavender · 30/05/2012 10:58

Great attitude - and we wonder what is wrong with society. Not you OP but the whole, my poor baby doesn't like sports, let's skip the day. I speak as someone who was very academic at school and hated Sports Day and always came last. But you know what - some of my peers hated maths / English and they had to go to lessons. It's called life.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/05/2012 10:59

She is 8, she needs to learn its all about taking part, not necessarily winning all the time. You cant let her off everything just because she isnt very good at it, thats a crap lesson in life to learn.

My DS (9) is also very small and gets trounced in most sports...I tell him thats life, he can work on it and improve or just have fun actually partaking in it.

seeker · 30/05/2012 11:01

Yes, because there's nothing moe character forming than being comprehensively and public ally beaten by people twice your size on q regular basis at the fe of 8. Did it mke you what you are today?

teaaddict2012 · 30/05/2012 11:01

I second a doctor visit tbh,

my son is 2 wouldn't struggle with that level of sport.

picobama · 30/05/2012 11:02

Well, I agree it's not nice for your daughter to come last in everything. How does she feel about it though? At my dcs' school there is a little girl who uses a walking frame and she competed in the 50m accompanied by all the kids and parents cheering and was so proud of herself.

I do think it needs to be competitive though. My DS is always bottom of the class on any spelling or maths tests, but comes away from sports day with a handful of 1st place ribbons which is so good for his confidence.

more · 30/05/2012 11:03

She sounds like a great kid, wanting to participate and wanting to do her best. Nothing wrong with that. The only thing I think you should work on is getting her to listen to her body, so she doesn't push herself so far as to make herself sick.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/05/2012 11:03

Well if you let them win on purpose and then when they get older and god forbid get in the real world they have a bloody shock. I dont think it does them any harm to lose, I was crap at sports when I was a kid but I didnt care, I just had fun!! As an adult I am really sporty and very competative but I still dont have a paddy if I dont win!

I can understand when they are little giving them some false wins but come on....at 8 years old??

GrahamTribe · 30/05/2012 11:03

lucky, there's a huge difference between learning the language of this country or learning how to add up and jumping along a field in a sack. In all my 48 years I have never since needed to utilise sack jumping skills.

And, before you say it, I learned working as a team and about competitiveness in a million different ways, as have my DC. None of us need forcing to jump around in sacks to do that.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/05/2012 11:04

Actually Graham - am gonna try it when I get home, no point to it but hey it sounds fun :)

Mrsjay · 30/05/2012 11:05

if your little girl is so puggled then i do think you need to take her to the dr and have her checked out , however I dont think you should keep her out of it if she is always last , dont most sports days have non competative things nowadays mine are out of primary but they did it in teams , its up to you though but i think if she is fragile like that do take her to the Drs

seeker · 30/05/2012 11:05

Who said anything about letting them win?

crazygracieuk · 30/05/2012 11:06

You should have kept her at home rather than expect her to sit it out. If she had just sat it out then she might have still had the mickey taken out of her as most kids would wonder why she is well enough to come to school but not do sports day when she normally does PE.

Like the others I would be getting her a medical check up. Did she have adequate sun protection? Definitely not normal to throw up after sports day assuming that your sports day is like ours and kids do a maximum of 3 races and the longest one being a lap of the field.

As for breaking her finger- that could have happened while you were looking after her so I wouldn't be mad at the teacher.(I speak as mother of Mr Bump who fractured his hand after falling over at school yesterday.)

ChopstheScarletduck · 30/05/2012 11:07

I agree that you need to speak to a paediatrician or dr.

She sounds a lot like my ds1. My ds has sn/disablitiles, so struggles with sports but will push until he is in real pain, or even unable to weight bear. It's not easy to teach an 8 year old how to recognise their limitations, despite what the school might think. The school need to learn how to recognise where she is pushing too hard and making herself ill. With my ds1, the school are useless at it, but at Boys Brigade, they keep a closer eye on him, and we have had no problems there at all, so it can be done!

Floggingmolly · 30/05/2012 11:10

Any disadvantages relating to prematurity will have disappeared by the age of 2, as a general rule of thumb.

At eight, there really is some other issue with her lack of energy (anaemia?) and not every one is good at sport. It's no reason to withhold her from Sports Day, and I doubt the school would let you anyway, PE is part of the national curriculum.

nickelbarapasaurus · 30/05/2012 11:11

I would say she needs to see a doctor.

It's not normal for an 8-yo to vomit after sports.

is she eating properly? (eg does she get so stressed about it she doesn't have breakfast or lunch?) is she drinking fluids through the day (juice is better than water when she's doing physical activity)
At 8, I would imagine that most of the differences of being prem would have disappeared by now, unless she's got a medical condition.

GrahamTribe · 30/05/2012 11:11

PMSL Betty. :)

I wonder - does anyone know of nations where sports day isn't a feature of schools? And of how the people in those countries compare to us wrt the skills which sports day allegedly provides?

TheCraicDealer · 30/05/2012 11:12

It's not just learning all that team player stuff though. When are you going to think she's 'ready' for school sports? 10? 13? 15? It's an important part of school-life and I think it would be unfair to mark her as different from the other kids. How would you like it if your mum basically said, "you're never going to win, there's no point in even trying"?

The fact she's ill after exertion is worrying though. I'd take her to the doctor's, and maybe write another note to the teacher explaining the previous issues and asking her to keep an eye on DD. Then explain to DD that if she feels ill stop and tell the teacher, who will not want to be vomited on.

VivaLeBeaver · 30/05/2012 11:14

Sports is part of the curriculum so I think you're been unreasonable.

Being small shouldn't automatically equal weakness/not been good at sports. My 11yo is tiny (wears age 7 clothes) and is on the school x-country team. She has occasionally been sick after doing a big run when she's really given it her all. I've told her to pace herself better!

Mrsjay · 30/05/2012 11:16

I have to agree about prem children unless there is any medical problems related , my own dd was prem and by the time she was 3 she had caught up with everybody else , I think sports day is just supposed to be fun thing to do at the end of school year change for the children to get out and do something parents can go watch IMo there is no educational value of sports day just Fun although it isnt fun for all obviously ,

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