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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with dd's school

91 replies

Molehillmountain · 30/05/2012 00:14

Dd who is in year one has brought home a beautifully written, very persuasive, invitation to an event that we can't attend, that she will have to be at school for whilst most of her class are involved in and that the teacher knows she can't be involved in because I told them from the outset. We'd already started letting dd know that she couldn't be involved but writing the invitation at school must have confused her and she has been in floods of tears over it. I know they can't do everything and have everything but I think this is rubbing her nose in it and I'm cross beyond belief. I am sorely tempted to keep her away from school that day. We have supported the school wholeheartedly since she began there but I am very upset. Every time I close my eyes to get to sleep I have visions of dd having a whole day of being upset.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 30/05/2012 09:27

you are imposing your beliefs over her wishes
It may well make you want to scream, GrahamTribe, but remember, while the op is of course entitled to do just that, she's started a thread claiming to be furious with her dd's school, thus shifting the blame for the outcome of her decision into them.
Kind of changes the perspective a little bit, don't you think?

Sirzy · 30/05/2012 09:28

I have never understood why someone starts a thread like this and then doesn't come back to it!

Impossible to say without knowing details, but from the few details given then I am edging towards yabu as you can't expect the lessons to be changed because you don't want your dd doing something .

Tryharder · 30/05/2012 09:32

To add to earlier posts: why would religion prevent a child from taking part in a jubilee celebration Confused?

People have assumed that religion is the cause here but I don't see it myself.

Hullygully · 30/05/2012 09:32

Is it swinging?

MsKittyFane · 30/05/2012 09:33

kidsandpets yes, OP can find someone to look after her DD if she kept her off school so she (or another adult) can make themselves available that day. The OP doesn't want her DD involved does she?
Therefore OP YABU to moan about the school.
Your DD will have to get used to disappointment because of the restrictions you / your beliefs have put upon her.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 30/05/2012 09:34

Grin at hully

MsKittyFane · 30/05/2012 09:35

TryHarder the Queen is head of the Church of England.
Jehovahs for example don't take part in any type of Christian event.

manicinsomniac · 30/05/2012 09:36

Why is it that you are unable to attend but you would be able to keep her home from school? I don't get it.

Dropdeadfred · 30/05/2012 09:38

This has got to be jubilee or religion based...?

MsKittyFane · 30/05/2012 09:41

dropdeadfred Nope, we're all guessing because OP hasn't come back. What have you come up with?

AngelWreakinHavoc · 30/05/2012 09:42

What a vague post. Please come back OP and tell us more :)

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/05/2012 09:43

Im guessing it's jubilee based, as that's what all schools seem to be focusing on at the moment.

It is really frustrating when people write obscure OPs and then bigger off completely.

AmberLeaf · 30/05/2012 09:44

Please tell us what it is OP.

Its all a bit silly if we don't know!

Maryz · 30/05/2012 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gnushoes · 30/05/2012 09:45

I'm with Hully. Swinging, definitely.

Frontpaw · 30/05/2012 09:45

Even if it was a 'religious' thing (which would make me thing it is a faith school anyway) why can't you attend?

It won't 'corrupt' you - just as studying other religions won't make you question your own faith. Go as a someone who is not part of the 'main event' but someone who is there to celebrate others' faith. Unless its devil worship or human sacrifice.

We live in a country with all faiths and none, so its a part of life. Kids will grow up and have to mix with allsorts when they go to uni/work. Where I grew up it was The Catholoic School and Eveything Else and it was crap - all suspicion and rumours. Kids didn't really mix and we got bullied by the other school (both ways).

We have been to all sorts of religious ceremonies (weddings, communions, baptisms,etc) and wouldn't not go because I'm CofE. You can appreciate a ceremony or celebration without believing in it. How many non christians 'do' christmas?

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 30/05/2012 09:50

Ridiculous to ask for affirmation of reasonableness without telling us the actual story. My very first thought, though, was that the only other option would have been for the teacher to say 'oh, you're not writing an invitation, are you - you do this instead', which presumably would have made dd just as upset - as other posters have already said.

JoannaFight · 30/05/2012 09:51

Maybe it's a health reason.

I think I'd move heaven and earth for my dc not to be left out of something the whole class were doing though. At worst this is just one of those unfortunate things. I doubt the school have any wish to upset anyone.

GladbagsAndYourHandrags · 30/05/2012 09:52

This is confusing.

The parents are unable to attend.
The child is unable to join in.

Is this because the parents aren't going? In which case its not fair of school to do this.

Or have the parents forbidden the child from joining in? In which case parents are being mean, whatever the activity is.

Unless Hully is right, in which case call the Daily Mail immediately.

ljgibbs · 30/05/2012 09:54

Yabu

ClaimedByMe · 30/05/2012 09:55

That is the most confusing op I have ever read Confused

choceyes · 30/05/2012 09:58

More info needed I think OP.

littleducks · 30/05/2012 09:59

I think you lot are being mean! I had a similar thread a while back when dd was crying herself to sleep that I couldn't come into an exhibition of her schoolwork (couple of days notice given and i was working). Again as she had written an invitation and being 5 was convinced that meant I would come. Everyone was was nice to me!

The same thing happened last week for a class assembly, but luckily school had pre warned us that the kids would be making invites so I drilled it into her before hand that I wouldn't be coming. Her teacher still made her make the invite but everyone was aware it wouldn't be accepted and no tears!

We are expected to be in school all day pretty much on Friday (in fancy dress Angry) so I expect a lot of people will find that day hard to come too, even SAHMs as I expect any younger siblings will be bored, hot and start playing up quick enough.

Ormiriathomimus · 30/05/2012 09:59

I am guessing that the writing of the invitation was done as part of a lesson? A project for all the children. Not just as a way to piss off the parents.

Is it a 'join the class' day for parents? We had those and no, I couldn't usually attend, but if at all possible DH would, or one or both GPs. Isn't there anyone else who could step in?

crunchbag · 30/05/2012 10:00

So is it the making of the invitation that you are upset about?

In that case just say what LeeCoakley suggested : 'Oh that's a lovely invitation dd, and what lovely handwriting! It's a shame we can't be there but thank you for making this for us'.

Surely you were prepared that something like this could happen, if it's a big event the class would have been preparing for it anyway, it would have been mentioned in assembly and so on Confused