Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming at being called a cow infront of dh's workmates!

49 replies

susiemumof · 29/05/2012 17:01

Fucking fuming actually!!

On the phone to dh about something trivial, he says I will pick dd up at 2.00 tomorrow (she needs something new that he has time off and can take her) I jokingly say why not wait till she is actually out school. We carry on the rest of the normal trivial conversation then he shouts out of nowhere "anyway piss off you sarky cow" and hangs the phone up on me! Errrr wtf!

Could hear people in the background so he obviously thought it was going to make him sound good around the 18 years old he was sat with.

Have sent him a text saying "hope you realise how much of a total dick you sounded there and have got one back telling me to go fuck myself.

Am totally :o about the whole bloody conversation!

OP posts:
Original poster
susiemumof · 29/05/2012 17:02

Totally Hmm actually not sure where that random Grin came from!!

OP posts:
TheLastNameLeft · 29/05/2012 17:02

charming!

I dont get why you are Grin though? Id be fuming especially about the text response

TheLastNameLeft · 29/05/2012 17:03

ah cross posted sorry susie!

altinkum · 29/05/2012 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick · 29/05/2012 17:04

I'd be fuming as well.

TheLastNameLeft · 29/05/2012 17:04

If my dh spoke to me like that then responded the way he did via text then my response would be, dont bother coming home tonight Ill be packing your stuff for you; find somewhere else to stay...but then I am feeling PMT murderous atm.

NigellaTufnel · 29/05/2012 17:04

Does he normally speak to you like that? And telling you go fuck yourself? Sorry but that is not acceptable, he needs to go sleep on his mate's sofa until he has sent you a grovelling apology.

Original poster
susiemumof · 29/05/2012 17:04

I know it does look weird with the grin, far to angry to be grinning just now. If it was a argument fair enough but it came out of nowhere, ages after my "sarky" comment and we had talked fine since then.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 29/05/2012 17:05

Weird??? Is this completely out of character? Is he looking for an excuse to be able to go out without telling you or something along those lines? Eg make sure you ate not speaking to him do he can do his own thing?

Purple2012 · 29/05/2012 17:05

Yanbu. How disrespectful. I would be having serious words with him if that was me.

Original poster
susiemumof · 29/05/2012 17:06

Believe me there is zero point in telling him not to come home! He would anyway as he has absolutely nowhere else he would go.

OP posts:
Original poster
susiemumof · 29/05/2012 17:08

I would doubt it dropdead, he never goes out but knows I would not bother if he ever did.

It did seem to me that he wanted to make himself out to be the hardman in front of his workmates Hmm

He sounded like a total idiot though!

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 29/05/2012 17:10

I would be so embarrassed if my husband behaved like that at work, even if I wasn't at the business end of his sweary disrespect.

AllYoursBabooshka · 29/05/2012 17:10

Has he spoken to you this way in the past?

Original poster
susiemumof · 29/05/2012 17:12

I am embarrassed, I feel like a bit of dirt on his shoe.

How dare he talk to me like that infront of other people. Especially over something so made up on his part.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 29/05/2012 17:13

I'd be tempted to turn up at his work and return the compliment in front of his colleagues

tiggytape · 29/05/2012 17:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickelbarapasaurus · 29/05/2012 17:16

i could accept the trying to impress excuse if he hadn't followed up by replying fuck yourself in his text.

you should definitely tell him to grow up and come home when he's managed it.

Springsister · 29/05/2012 17:18

Tell him what a knob he is being when he gets home and if you dont get a massive apology (tears optional) then threaten to go into his work and embarrass him in front of his mates big time.

I think you need to plot your revenge for this

becstarsky · 29/05/2012 17:19

If my DH spoke to me/texted me using that language I'd assume he'd had some sort of 'episode' and needed mental health intervention urgently. So I'd call one of his workmates and say 'Sorry to bother you but DH is acting very strangely, I'm concerned about his well-being. Is he okay now? Has he had a blow to the head? Because I'm wondering if I should get him some sort of help, he's behaving very out of character.' Not as a means of revenge, just honestly if my DH behaved like that it would be so completely contrary to everything that I'd assume he was ill.

AllYoursBabooshka · 29/05/2012 17:20

I don't think there is ever an excuse to be so blatantly disrespectful to another person.

I would be letting him know in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't tolerate being spoken too like that and if he felt it was a good way to speak to me in the future he could take his own text advice.

NicNocJnr · 29/05/2012 17:34

WTF? YANBU I don't care if he has nowhere else to go. Door is locked and he can get to fuck unless he brings home an apology that can write itself across the sky. I would not, ever be spoken to like that. He could have grovelled out if the phone ending but the follow up text? No way in hell. Sorry but not on.

As I see your options you can:
Go and publicly humiliate him in front of those work mates until he's in his own pit of shame & emasculated & you make your point (probably want to but not recommended)
Or
Keep your dignity and composure lock down the homestead and explain calmly and clearly why you do not get spoken to like that and he can come in tomorrow when he has had a chance to be really sorry. Once he has grown the fuck up calmed down and apologised then you can have the talk and find the riot cause of it. You can bet if my DH did this he would rather eat his own face than have to admit it was to impress someone. (obviously vice versa applies here - would not dream of doing this to DH).
Nip this in the bud OP. It can go either way and one will be belittling and disheartening for you while he gets better and better responses from the colleagues egging him on.

NicNocJnr · 29/05/2012 17:35

Root cause. Sorry fat fingers.

WorraLiberty · 29/05/2012 17:39

Legally you can't just lock someone out of their own home purely because they're a prize wanker.

OP, if that was really the entire conversation then that's one of the weirdest things I've ever read Confused

And even if there was more to it, he has no right to speak to you like that whatsoever.

Does he actually have any endearing qualities at all?

Oogaballoo · 29/05/2012 17:45

I would go apeshit in your position. I absolutely despise people that try and show how tough and don't-give-a-shit they are by putting someone down and making a show of it to others. And he made sure you wouldn't have the opportunity to reply by hanging up. I guess what mattered was being hard in front of his colleagues, not his wife's feelings at being insulted. He didn't have the guts to listen to anything you'd say in return.

I wouldn't do a damn thing for him until he apologised and bloody meant it.