AIBU to wish people were more

[Helltotheno]

'eat to live' than 'live to eat', my DH esp, but society in general too?

AIBU to be really hacked off trying to arrange restaurant-standard meals every night just for him really when a lot of time I could just throw out a bit of pasta, tuna and raw veg for me and the kids which in their view, is as good as it gets ?

AIBU to wish he'd just get a dinner at lunchtime sometimes (but no, cos he'd still want a full dinner at home )

AIBU to like, for that reason and that alone, when he's away cos I don't have to think about that shizzle, and to sometimes think this is becoming a major incompatibility between us if I want him to be away more often because of it?

AIBU to need to get a grip? Can anyone sympathise?

Get him to cook in the week or refuse to make fancy meals. Why do you do it?

I think this would be an area just begging for compromise, really.

How about three times a week something 'gourmet' and three times a week something nutricious and quick, then a joint effort on a Sunday?

Oh, sorry, he cooks at the weekends.. then twice a week something special, and three times something normal. If he wants to tip the balance in favour of special, he can pick a weekday to cook for you.

Well it's fair really. He has long hours and I work part-time, sometimes part-part-time if things are slow.

By fancy, I mean there always has to be a sauce or whatever, it can't be the necessary carbs, protein and veg on a plate on their own... which is fine by me cos I'm only interested in my body getting what it requires....

I find it just a palaver and it occupies so much more time in my life than I want it to :(

YANBU. I put food in front of the family that is healthy but basic. They eat it as it tastes nice [I hope] but there's not hours spent preparing it as I'm not that patient or a great cook. If dh doesn't like what I offer he can eat cereal or a sandwich which he does himself. In this current hot spell it's salads, pasta and cold meat.

No, I think that if you are unhappy with the situation and there is a reasonable alternative (spag bol, tuna bake, whatever) then you should make your feelings known and work out a compromise. Just because you have more time to cook doesn't mean you should spend all that time and effort cooking. We like our food in this household, but not everything that tastes good has to take 2 hours to prepare. I think you need to adress this with him before the resentment builds.

I was just thinking this myself.

I think I might start doing 'proper' dinners 3/4 nights a week, then go or some simpler things in between

Can anyone suggest some easy, simple dishes. No ones fussy but dh moans if there's no meat involved.

Chili con carne
Spag bol
Jacket pots with various fillings
Stir fry
Caesar salad
Quick stroganoff

See spag Bol and chilli etc came under my proper dinners!

I can't sympathise, I'm afraid, as I'm the one who loves my food too much in our house . Hate boring plain meals, but I'm sure my DH would be happy with them.

Tell you what, i'll cook for your DH and you cook for mine!!

Shepherds Pie with a sweet potato and cheese topping is nice.
Salmon fillets with a cous cous coating is also quick and easy.

Ok. I do love cooking, personally, so maybe I am a bit off. Hmm ok, how about

Grilled steak with crusty bread rolls and green salad? Takes as long as the steaks need to cook.
Thick cut toasted bread topped with poached egg and mushrooms
Hotdogs!
Fish is quick.

Agree with Moshling that a lot of what you're mentioning comes under 'proper grub' for me!!

Nobody in my house ever seems to stop or want to stop eating :(

Anyway yes, maybe if I planned things better? It's just that the initiative always has to be taken by me....

I have the same problem here. Luckily because we are on a strict budget the expectations have come down. If you're not on a budget go with buying simple but tasty stuff like chicken, steak wirh good salad and bread. Ask your OH to help plan a menu you are both happy with and make out clear you aren't happy to spend more than 20 mins on a meal.

Oh. I don't know anything much faster or simpler than what I have listed, other than stuff from jars, which I can't eat.

We sit down together on a Saturday before the weekly shop and plan out seven meals for the week, which we then buy for.

Is it the quantity of what people ae eating which bothers you? Or the constant thinking up food ideas? I think meal planning is very valuable for both problems as you don't have much food as left overs for people to snack, and you know what to cook each day and can use your time accordingly.

Everyday cooking is a drag though

'Restaurant standard' sounds daunting though. I'm all for being a foodie and don't think I could just eat to live, but it can't be too complicated during the week.

What gets me is that I try hard to come up with dinners that aren't too samey, healthy, tasty all that jazz... but nowadays we have the added pressure of doing it all round umpty-ten activities. So this means I'm also rushing against deadlines because dh and dc have to get to things and people eating at different times from others in the family.

Ploughmans lunch! Endless pickle and cheese/meat variety.

I like chicken and chorizo for ease. Literally plonk thighs, chunks of chorizo, orange zest (1) and some red onion and baby potatoes chunks in a dish and stick in the oven for an hour. Basically that's grating one orange and maybe chopping an onion in quarters for effort.

leftovers the next day on rice or with salad.

The two days both my kids have eaten at school or nursery are now always jacket potato w/salad and pasta with garlic bread. The days I don't work I cook something requiring a bit more effort like

...the kind of meals already suggested

Simple for me means something like:
omelette and a green salad
spaghetti with oil, garlic and chilli flakes
grilled chicken and green salad
corned beef hash
spicy rice
sometimes just a sort of cold plate of cheese, pickles, salami and olives

Go to M&S or Waitrose gormet section, select a few for the week, heat up and throw on a bit of different veg. Job done Or tell him to go do the shopping himself.

I agree that meal planning is key. But also, and more fundamentally, if you cook then you decide how much effort you are prepared to go to (within reason).

Carbonara
Chicken parmigiana (basically chicken with homemade tomato sauce topped with cheese breadcrumbs and baked)
Sausage egg chips and beans!
Roast chicken, boiled pots, veg

What do you mean by sauce exactly? Does he want hollandaise, cheese sauce etc or will he be happy with gravy??

You're possibly getting this a bit out of proportion, but I can imagine it gets quite tedious having to plan and cook a 'proper' dinner every night of the week. Can he not cook maybe just one day in the week to give you a 'night off'?

As for the weekends, I would not get into those 'protracted discussions' with him, just say 'I'll leave it up to you, I'm sure whatever you choose will be lovely' and let him get on with it. If it's your turn to do the shopping, let him know when you'll be going, and ask him to give you a list of what he needs. Do the same in reverse when he's shopping.