to cuddle my DC too much?

[toomanyeasterbunnies]

My H has just made my blood boil. At pre-school waiting to go in so I pick up our DS (2.5) and cuddle him for about 5 mins. H turns around and says "Put him down - none of the other mums have picked up their kids". Well - I am fuming. I don't care what other mums do. If I want to cuddle any of my DC I will.

Apparently, what he meant to say is that all our children lack confidence and perhaps this wouldn't be the case if I was less willing to give cuddles when they are feeling shy/apprehensive. AIBU to feel really upset by my H's attitude and AIBU to cuddle my DC when they need reassurance?

Er, YANBU. He is being strange.

Perhaps they lack confidence because they live with a bullying control freak?

I don't think taking away a child's reassurance when they feel nervous would help increase their confidence, quite the opposite imo.
YANBU, your DH on the other hand...

If they lack confidence, more cuddles should give them more confidence.

Although, I couldn't cuddle after school for 5 min. Are you sure it's not only about 30 sec?

As long as your son doesn't care I don't see the harm
And surely pushing them away would make them less confident?

YANBU to be upset by his attitude - he sounds very immature TBH if he's telling you that you need to act like everybody else. Is he a teenager?!

YANBU to hug your kids when they need reassurance. Was your DS distressed at the time? Your DH may be of the opinion that you're making him 'soft' if you cuddle him when he doesn't seem to need it (this is NOT my opinion, I'm just suggesting HE may think that).

Yanbu

My mum has always been a proper cuddle-monster, both with her children and now her grandchildren. I think it played a big part in my siblings and me always feeling secure and well-loved and my nieces and nephews absolutely adore her.

Cuddles are lovely!

How lovely for them. you can't cuddle too much. Maybe today I am feeling a bit sensitive, I live in Qatar.
I think you sound absolutely lovely and wish you were here to give me a hug.

You can never spoil a child with love

HTH

YANBU!! I am always cuddling and kissing my 9 year old DS......nothing wrong in that!

Hugs to you odorakis !

Off home for big cuddles now and also will let the pets join in.

I still pick up my DD and give her a quick cuddle after school most days, and she is 9!
My 7yo DS won't let me cuddle him in public because it isn't cool any longer :(.

I'm child led on cuddles - if they come for a hug they get one.

I feel for you theodorakis :(

Big cuddles sound like an excellent plan and I'm all for pets joining in! Our dog loves nothing more than squeezing between DH and me when we're having sofa cuddles!

Of course not. My DH is French and when we visit his tediously traditional family, they are always telling me to put the baby down, or to stop mollycuddling the older one in order to prevent them becoming spoilt. I most cheerfully ignore them. Pretending I can't understand French comes in very handy on occasion.

Goodness knows what damage I'm doing my DD then!! I cuddle her every chance I get. I was never cuddled much as a child, my parents just weren't tactile. So I'm not sure where I've got it from, but it's just natural for me to want to cuddle her.

As a result, she's a cuddly, loving child. So, YANBU, your DH is.

My mum said her parents were the same adayforthinking which is why she makes up for what she didn't have when she was a child with us! :)

Knowing Mummy (or Daddy) is always there with kisses, cuddles and reassurance is THE no. 1 way to boost a child's independence and confidence. And the poor mite is 2.5, it's not like you're offering him 'bitty' before a job interview at the age of 43! For a start, being shy is not a negative thing at all (in Chinese culture, shyness is one of the most desirable characteristics a child or adult can have) and secondly, if they have a father who makes them feel silly or wrong for wanting a nice cuddle, then THAT is what will be knocking their confidence. Stupid man

YANBU, there is no such thing as too much cuddles when it comes to dc. FACT.

You can never give to many cuddles but maybe if your child is shy and lack s confidence if there are other children around waiting for their siblings you should be encouraging your child to mix with them and play rather than gathering them in for a cuddle.

Cuddle them when you get home after they have had a play with the other children and praise them for playing nicely to boost their confidence.

YANBU he is

He is 2.5 and at pre-school. Hug away.

YANBU

Fwiw, my dd is super-confident and I cuddle her loads, co-slept when she was a baby etc. She is secure in the knowledge that she is loved. There is nothing wrong with that.

Cuddle your dc all you like! They'll tell you when they want you to stop!

I think that if a 2.5yr old is shy - why is it a problem? At that age they're barely toddlers & many are still being toilet trained & learning to talk properly!!

School age (eg. 4 or 5yrs) is when children naturally start to gain confidence - even then, a shy child should be allowed to develop their personality at their own pace.

YANBU for cuddling your toddler - cuddles are lovely!

DH should be cuddling YOU not having a go at you about cuddling your child.