More AIBPFB?

[Empusa]

DS is 9 weeks old and is now refusing to sleep unless he's being held or is in bed with DH and me. He wont sleep in his cot, his bouncer, the car seat, his pram etc.

Which of course means he is overtired by the end of the day.

Now everyone is telling me that I'm just going to have to leave him to cry it out as I can't reasonably hold him all day long, but I get so upset hearing him cry that I really want to just hold him and soothe him.

Some of you may have seen my thread yesterday where DH went out for the day and I spent the entire day sat in one place with DS in my lap. I didn't eat until DH got home at 10pm as DS wouldn't stay quiet long enough for me to make food.

I'm being PFB aren't I?

On feeding you, you can carry him in one arm can't you? So can eat with one had? Leftover dinner in tupperware boxes is proving yummy right now. Crumpets are good, pizza slices, pre-made sandwiches, anything per-made in a box, salads etc.

Am having interesting times eating over the baby - hot soup not good, salad can be messy, pizza, crumpets with melted cheese on top etc, so anything that holds together, wonderful.

www.amby.co.uk/index.php?fid=0,1

Makes them feel like they're being held!

Are you putting him down in his cot etc the moment he falls asleep, or are you waiting any length of time? A really useful tip I read, I think it was in the book the no cry nap solution, was for a baby who is cuddled to sleep - to time putting them down in their cot to coincide with the baby being in deep sleep as they're much less likely to wake. That usually happens 15-20 minutes after falling asleep.

I used to have dd2 in a stretchy wrap in just her nappy and I would wear just a bra under the sling so neither of us would get too hot.

The only way she'd be put down is if she was tightly swaddled (in a huge muslin if it was hot).

Best advice I was ever given when my now 6 monther was a newborn was to make a sandwich the night before, or get your husband to, and wrap it and refrigerate it so its ready at lunchtime and you don't have to put him down. Have a large bottle of your choice of drink and a glass in every room by your sitting/feeding areas (I still do this) and secret easily manageable snacks of choice in the same places. I have a bottle of fizzy water and nets of Tangerines in every room so they are always to hand. It's very important for any new mother to keep refuelling (particularly if trying to maintain milk supply but even if not).

Sorry just read lottie's post! Beat me to it lottie!

Thankyou everyone, have got DS fast asleep on my lap right now. Will remember to make food before DH goes out in the future. And I'll also look at other slings :)

Did someone upthread suggest a swing?
DGC loves it. May cry for two minutes and then is off.
Does he lie on a muslin? Some like the feeling of that too.

And if you want to hold him, then hold him!

What cadle said - not eating until 10pm will do you no good at all.

Boxes of fresh soup (shop bought obvs!).

Easy to heat up one handed, drink from a mug one handed and simple to reheat if needs be.

Also filling and comforting and gives you a good whack of veggies.

I lived on them for the first 6 months!!

You're not being PFBU - DD's crying cuts through me like a knife - like the most vulnerable piece of my heart is outside my body & hurting.

Would second the reflux suggestion. 11wo DD has that; until we had meds for it 10 days ago we were completely unable to put her down. Now she happily naps for 2.5 hrs propped up in moses basket, sleeps for 3-4 hrs in propped up bedside cot

We didn't know at the time that lying flat caused her such pain but ignored everyone who told us we should let her cry etc. So glad we followed our instincts now & listened to her when she was in so much pain.

Maybe see if propping up cot/basket with books at one end helps, just in case?? Otherwise ignore those around you - it's so hard I know but you are the expert on your baby!

On the practical side, will DS sleep next to you in your bed during the day?

I'd wait til DD was asleep, then slink away - could go to loo, grab DVDs, food, & line up drinks by bedside in the few mins it took DD to realise I was gone & wake up! Also gives your weary arms a rest.

YANBPFB at all! I have never liked hearing DS cry. I went through similar when he was around this age (he's now 4m and a very easy baby). My advice would be (1) yes to better sling as suggested (2) get pack of your fave biscuits for when a meal is out of the question - it may seem naughty but it won't be for long, it's not like you'll be surviving on Viennese Fingers forever (3) make sure you always have a drink nearby (especially if BFing) and (4) as suggested above, forgive yourself for showering and weeing while he does cry - it's only for a few minutes. And (5) enjoy - once this time has passed you'll miss it (I know that will sound mental to you right now!) and be freaked out by how fast it has gone by :-)