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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

neighbours climbing over the wall ....

46 replies

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:19

AIBU when I say that I am geting fed up of the next door neighbours kids climbing over the wall to get their balls whenever they fancy?? We throw them back over whenever we can but now it has got to the stage they just climb on over and scare the crap out of me when I see something (someone!!) darting across our garden. I know its summer and ball games are a must but feel they could at least ask!

OP posts:

AdventuresWithVoles · 28/05/2012 19:23

And you never never never did it yourself as a child, right?

Just ask politely (but firmly if this is a repeat) that their child wait until you get a chance to throw the ball back in future. Who owns the wall? Will they damage it?

Threeprinces · 28/05/2012 19:23

YANBU, have a word and tell them you'd like them to knock and not go straight over the wall.

I have kids and wouldn't let them go straight into someone's garden unless the person had explicitly told them to.

HeartsJandJ · 28/05/2012 19:24

YANBU

I guess if they are about 8ish they probably don't think anything of it but I totally get why you're fed up with it if it's a regular occurence.

The only upside of it is that at least they're not knocking at your door every five minutes. Cold comfort though.

I guess you've thought of just having a word and saying you'll round up all the balls each evening so they know they're coming back? It would seem a shame to have to get heavy handed with children who are just playing a game but at the very least they are trespassing.

theincredibequeenofwands · 28/05/2012 19:25

Or plant nettles under the wall.

They'll only do it once more.

sugarice · 28/05/2012 19:28

YANBU. My youngest ds does this and I make him go round and ask for the ball back along with an apology to the neighbours for kicking it over again!.

jamdonut · 28/05/2012 19:30

No....as someone who also has problems with neighbour's kids and footballs, I don' t think you are being unreasonable!! I try to throw them back, and they do knock and ask for them, but it is getting beyond a joke, 4 or 5 times a night. The play football in the back garden like they are at Wembley, and are destroying our beautiful plants. We are lucky to have fairly long gardens,but this is an old council estate, though we own our house. Next door is council, and since our quiet neighbours were rehoused we have had these horrible,noisy kids who throw all manner of things over for fun, i.e cd's forks,spoons,slippers...you name it.

I know kids have to play, and I wouldn't have a problem if it WAS just playing noises, but they scream and yell and roar at each other. It is doing me and my husbands heads in, not to mention my own kids, who were always taught to have respect for the people around them.

Original poster

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:34

Thanks guys ..... thought I was just suffering from severe PMT today !

I like your idea Hearts, rounding them all up at the end of an evening would be ideal as dd won't freak out (or me!) if she sees someone in our garden. I think dd finds it scary when she is having a shower or on the toilet to suddenly see a shadow run past the window (dd is wheelchair user and her batroom is right at the end of the house) but have to say they have managed to scare me a few times too!

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Anniegetyourgun · 28/05/2012 19:36

Shortly after moving to my present house, which has a fence on top of the wall so pretty high, some local horrors kids knocked on the door three times in a row because their ball had sort of accidentally bounced into my garden. By the third time I suspected I was the dog substitute in a game of Fetch, and suggested they tried kicking their ball somewhere else, or learning a spot of ball control. The fourth time it was the old "a big kid did it and ran away", yeah sure, that invisible big kid, so I said if the ball landed in my garden it would have to stay there until a grown-up came to ask for it. They said are you saying you'd keep our ball? Not at all, I said, I'm happy to give it back if a grown-up asks for it. No more balls in garden after that, spookily enough. They did throw pebbles at my windows for a few weeks afterwards, but gave up after 0 reaction. (Actually I was f'ing terrified at the time, but didn't let on.)

Original poster

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:36

jam - poor you and dh! Our girls do play outside but are so quiet sometimes even I have to go and check on what they are doing! We don't have football here we have cricket and sadly it is about 8 kids in total every evening ranging from about 6 all the way to about 17 ! Weekends I really don't mind if they want to be loud and noisy but at 9pm on a school night is really doing my head in AND disturbing dd's sleep too)

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loopyluna · 28/05/2012 19:43

When I was a teenager, we had 2 little -horrors- boys next door. The fence was too high to climb so all I got whilst trying to sunbathe was "Can. You. Throw. The. Baaaalllbackplease??" Drove me mad!

I would have been v affronted to catch the little blighters actually in the garden and wouldn't let my kids do that to a neighbour now.
We have no neighbours now but in our last house, rule was to knock on door and ask but max twice in one day. If the ball went over again, tough luck!
I don't think it would be U to tell the boys not to come into your garden without asking.

KatieScarlett2833 · 28/05/2012 19:45

I'd far rather they came to fetch it than rang my doorbell every time.

Original poster

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:48

Unfortunatley door knocking and calling over the wall would be ignored after 5pm as dd's shower, physio, toileting etc is taking place and cannot leave her unattended. We have only been here for about 2 months but it really is getting on my nerves as the "kids" are old enough to know better.

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Megalosaurus · 28/05/2012 19:48

YANBU - one of the more stressful times of living here was when the boys from down the road would kick their ball over our wall. Could be 6+ times a night they'd knock and ask for it back. In the end it all came to a head when I was about 8.5 months pregnant and very grumpy and refused to let them have it for 24 hours.

This is why in our house we have a rule, if you kick it over it stays there until the person next door throws it back.

Original poster

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:51

I'd agree with u normally Katie but to have kids climbing over and then thinking it is ok to peer in is invading our privacy and don't think that is nice either!

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Flisspaps · 28/05/2012 19:51

The kids next door to me took to sliding the fence panel up and crawling underneath it when I told them to stop coming over the fence

alphabite · 28/05/2012 19:52

I used to have that all the time and as they got older I worried they would break the fence.

I reitterated every time I saw it to just come and ring the bell and I would throw it over for them. It took a while for me to keep saying for them to realise I wasn't a crabby woman but I was just worried they'd break their fence and their Mum and Dad would be annoyed.

On hot days when I knew it would be particularly bad I would go and see the parents and tell them I'd put weed killer on the grass so to be careful with the ball going over (I hadn't put weed killer down but it meant they were more careful!!!)

bunnybabylon · 28/05/2012 19:52

of course they shouldn't be coming into your garden! i'd tell them to eff off and they'd soon get the message!

of course i would chuck the ball back when i could be arsed

IHaveAFeatureWallAndILikeIt · 28/05/2012 19:54

I think its really rude to climb over uninvited! I've specifically told my neighbour to let her son pop over and get his ball whenever it goes over, but she has imposed a rule that the third time it goes over it stays until I notice it so that he's careful.

Original poster

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:54

Sorry fliss shouldn't have but that made me laugh out loud !

OP posts:

Original poster

EndOfTheRoad2011 · 28/05/2012 19:57

We've only been here about 2 months and it is a daily occurance already. Dh doesn't want me to say anything as it may cause bad feeling but then he is never here to see it happening for the millionth time!

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BoboksAndCot · 28/05/2012 19:57

Some kids tried climbing over my fence a few times because they just had to kick their ball against it (rather than anywhere else in the huge fucking field my house backs onto)

I released the hound ( evil )

DozyDuck · 28/05/2012 19:58

My DS (ASD) has a thing for throwing things over fences. I feel really sorry for my neighbours but we haven't been able to stop it yet. When he does it I tell him it's gone and bring him inside and he gets upset. Usually neighbours through it back when they see it there. There's no way I'd let him climb over a fence or knock and ask for it back (not that he could) the only thing I've ever asked for back is a school reading book he threw over.

At school (special school) the kids kick the footballs over during football time in the playground. If they kick it over twice they have to go in.

Accidents happen but that many times in a night just means they aren't being careful or are playing a game I think.

bigjoeent · 28/05/2012 19:59

YANBU, we had a big problem with it when we moved into our current house, they just jumped over a low wall to the side or came straight through the gate. They were generally polite when we asked them to knock before coming into the garden. One night we had a 16 - 17 year old coming into the garden at 10 o'clock at night, it was pointed out to him that this wasn't a good idea as we could have thought he was a burglar and called the police. It doesn't happen now, could be something to do with the large prickly hedge we planted.

Milliways · 28/05/2012 19:59

Borrow a dog! Ours used to eat footballs left for him to play with and the kids stopped jumping the fence when they saw 7stone of fluff bounding towards them! We threw back balls daily when we saw them, and our kids used to send balls flying too, but I don't like them just climbing in.

DeathByChocolate01 · 28/05/2012 20:03

Borrow a large dog

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