Just feeling very overwhelmed today. I have a 6m ds and 3yr dd. I am on maternity leave at the moment though I don't think I will go back to work - it's a v inflexible job that requires travel and I wouldn't manage it.
I feel I just have an existence, rather than a life. It is just an endless cycle of changing nappies and cleaning up puke and housework. I cannot put ds down for more than 5 mins max before he cries. I am constantly dirty with greasy hair as I never get time for a shower let alone drying my hair. I smell either of baby puke or poo even though i wash my hands after doing their nappies (dd not interested in potty still). My clothes are covered in dried food from dd and baby sick. My house is filthy with mountains of dishes, baskets of laundry, floors covered in crumbs, I never get the chance to do any of it. Reading a book or a magazine is a luxury I have forgotten.
DH works long hours in a medical job that requires absolute accuracy and precision. He is brilliant and helps as much as he can but a couple of times he's got up early then been so tired he's made a reasonable serious mistake, he can't lose his job, there are so few in his industry at the moment and then we really would be shafted.
I don't want to go back to work as I hate being away from the dcs though I guess you would find that hard to believe. My work colleagues are all very committed to their jobs,it's the kind of job you're expected to put above everything else. None of them even got in touch to say congrats when DS was born.
I just need someone to tell me I'm not alone in feeling like this. I am still BFing DS which I love doing and don't want to give up though hopefully once he's on solids I will get a bit more of a break.
My family would not be supportive, they are not like that, they would think I just need to get on with it.
I am sitting here in tears, we are supposed to go to the shops as we have little food in but I can't face it. My hair is scraped back in a greasy ponytail and I just can't get up to go out. DD has been watching tv since she got up at 5.30, I am an awful mum.
I am at least a stone overweight and want to lose weight but food is one of my few pleasures at the moment and I'm just not managing, my bar of chocolate in the evening is about the 1 luxury in my life!
I absolutely love my dcs, don't think I don't, please, I am just struggling very badly.