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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at rubbish birthday present??

66 replies

tara277 · 27/05/2012 20:45

AIBU?

It's my birthday today and my parents sent me a pair of trousers that my mum bought for herself a year and a half ago (I was with her but I don't think she remembers! They're not even the right size for me though still have labels on). Also an Elemis gift set with half of the stuff taken out. This one here at end ArchiveSwearsBy It's not even available to buy any more on QVC - she got me the same one for Christmas with the same things missing and I only realised when I saw the mumsnet swearsby email that it should have more products in it!

Neither was wrapped!! Am I being spoilt and unreasonable to feel a bit hurt or is this fair enough?

OP posts:
deepfriedcupcake · 27/05/2012 20:49

That's pants. Wrap them up and send them back for her birthday.

In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, have a glass of wine and think about buying yourself something lovely Wine

Mrsjay · 27/05/2012 20:50

You are entitled to feel hurt thoughtless presents imo i bet you wish she hadn't bothered don't you .
was my birthday a few weeks ago my sister got me the same purse my mum got me at christmas perhaps it was a regift mum maybe got her the same purse Hmm the purse isnt something id use , and mum got me a size to small shirt and no receipt I guess its the thought that counts but it was be nice if they put a little more thought into it eh ,

Happy Birthday Smile

NoWayNoHow · 27/05/2012 20:50

Firstly, happy birthday MN twin! It's mine today too!

Secondly, YANBU. If you'd been given something that cost £2 and you were cross because it didn't cost £20, then I'd be saying you're spoilt.

But everyone always says that it's the thought that counts, and clearly absolutely no thought has gone into this at all. I think I would be a little bit hurt too.

manicbmc · 27/05/2012 20:50

Not unreasonable to expect at least a bit of thought to go into it.

When it's hers, buy her tea towels.

Mrsjay · 27/05/2012 20:52

I wouldnt even buy her teatowels i would put a bow on the trousers and send them back to her for her birthday Grin oh and happy birthday nowaynohow

NoWayNoHow · 27/05/2012 20:53

ah, thanks manic

NoWayNoHow · 27/05/2012 20:53

Sorry, mrsjay (misread - embarrassing!!)

Eglu · 27/05/2012 20:54

YANBU, how kind of your Mum to buy herself a gift set and take the things she likes and leave the rest of the stuff as a crappy gift to you.

I would also gift them back to her.

PissyDust · 27/05/2012 20:55

Happy birthday Wine did you get anything nice from the dc etc?

hoping all is not lost for you b'day

Mrsjay · 27/05/2012 20:55

Its ok dont be embarrassed its your birthday you are allowed to be daft Grin

Fimbo · 27/05/2012 20:56

Happy birthday Tara and NoWayNoHow.

My mum has sent me the same M & S planter for 3 years on the trot. First time it was lovely and very thoughtful but 2 years down the line its now apparent she picks for ease "because I just nip into M & S and they take care of it". But "I may buy you something else next year, I will see how I feel".

People are weird when it comes to presents especially rellies.

Silverlace · 27/05/2012 21:01

YANBU.

I hate thoughtless re-gifted presents. Does she usually do this at birthdays?

Some family friends with plenty of money gave my DS a metal object with a teddy bear on (we thought it was an ashtray!) for his Christening. When we took it out of the box we found a note in it wishing their daughter the best at her Christening, she was by then in her 20s!

Just take the trousers to a charity shop and move on.

VictoriaWould · 27/05/2012 21:01

I received a bench cover from my parents this year. Hmm
YANBU

Silverlace · 27/05/2012 21:03

PS Happy birthday. Have some Wine

Mrsjay · 27/05/2012 21:04

oh dear god the bench cover wins Shock I cant believe they make covers for benches Grin

latrucha · 27/05/2012 21:06

Is there any reason she couldn't go and buy you something nice?

I got very angry when my mum went through a rash of buying me stuff that wasn't very nice, some of it from a charity shop. She was ill though, and had probably been delighted to find me something half decent in her village.

mirry2 · 27/05/2012 21:06

Is your mum skint?

Sarcalogos · 27/05/2012 21:07

I'm still waiting for my sister to buy me a birthday card and wedding present! (both several months late).

In those months I have bought her a 'bridesmaid gift' and a birthday card/present. Do you think it makes me unreasonable if I stop buying her stuff? Im hurt but can't work out which was the moral high ground lies.

Original poster
tara277 · 27/05/2012 21:09

Thank you all!! Wine very good idea I think.
NoWayNoHow - Happy Birthday to you too Smile Glad to hear I'm not the only one to get crappo presents from parents. DH and DD (6) and DS (1) have been very good to me so really shouldn't whinge.

Thanks again. xx

OP posts:
Moln · 27/05/2012 21:11

I get annoyed with thoughtless presents. my sister is terrible for this she'll give something because it's cheap. Not something the receiver would like and happens to be cheap mind.

i can take it when it's a present given to me at Christmas (though I have suggested a few times we shouldn't bother getting each other stuff) but I have to admit that I do get a bit riled when it's something given to my children!

A present with things removed is really shit as it just seems as the giver is being selfish

I don't think there is anything that can be done about a mean thoughtless gift giver.

YANBU and happy birthday

RaPaPaPumPumBootyMum · 27/05/2012 21:11

Oh Silverlace, your story is every re-gifter's nightmare!

Tis why I check very carefully to make sure there is no hidden note or message.
Also have to remember who gift was from originally so has not to re-gift it back to them!
And that the gift is something I would have bought for giftee [and truly believe they would like] had it not already been bought for me...

No-one can say no thought or care goes into the gifts I give Grin

OP, your mother's re-gift was rubbish. YANBU!

GusTheOneEyedPolarBear · 27/05/2012 21:13

YANBU. For Christmas last year I got two padded coat hangers and an Argos Value breadbin from MIL. I'd rather she just didn't bother rather than just give me simething out of perceived obligation.

Original poster
tara277 · 27/05/2012 21:13

Latrucha and mirry2 - no no reason and not skint in fact she's been overly generous with other people (just gave my cousin £600 for a pram as she is pregnant).

Sarcalogos - I think maybe you should stop buying stuff for a while. You sound very kind and thoughtful but I can see why you would feel hurt. .....can send you a nice (half full) gift set or pair of trousers to pass on for her birthday if you like!!

OP posts:
GusTheOneEyedPolarBear · 27/05/2012 21:14

YANBU. For Christmas last year I got two padded coat hangers and an Argos Value breadbin from MIL. I'd rather she just didn't bother rather than just give me simething out of perceived obligation.

sensuallettuce · 27/05/2012 21:14

For my birthday my sister bought me "The Single Mothers Guide to Raising Remarkable Boys".

I have been a single parent for 7 yrs and think my boys are already pretty bloody remarkable (one in Grammar) Hmm.

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