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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at rubbish birthday present??

66 replies

tara277 · 27/05/2012 20:45

AIBU?

It's my birthday today and my parents sent me a pair of trousers that my mum bought for herself a year and a half ago (I was with her but I don't think she remembers! They're not even the right size for me though still have labels on). Also an Elemis gift set with half of the stuff taken out. This one here at end ArchiveSwearsBy It's not even available to buy any more on QVC - she got me the same one for Christmas with the same things missing and I only realised when I saw the mumsnet swearsby email that it should have more products in it!

Neither was wrapped!! Am I being spoilt and unreasonable to feel a bit hurt or is this fair enough?

OP posts:
pixwix · 27/05/2012 23:44

My Ex- MIL - one christmas, bought me a second hand sports bag, which still had grass inside (not the smokeable type - just leftovers from someones trainers) a pair of dirty second hand gloves, and a second hand pepsi glass. I still use the sports bag however :o

After giving birth to Ds1, she pitched up with some dry shampoo, a second hand black snorkel parker coat for me, and some glass christmas tree ornaments for the newborn nipper.

I got used to it... Hmm

Noqontrol · 27/05/2012 23:53

Did she steal that bag pixwix? Grin

AltruisticEnigma · 28/05/2012 00:09

I'msorry but all these stories have had me LOLing.

zipzap · 28/05/2012 00:34

happy birthday OP! hope you've had a good day otherwise... And no, don't think you are wrong to feel hurt by the lack of thought that your mum has put into your present - I'm sure you would have had a lot more pleasure had she sent you even half the value in money or gift vouchers!

I'd ring your mum and tell her that the trousers are the wrong size and a bit mumsy for you so please could you have the receipt so you can change them (omitting to mention that you were with her when she bought them!) for the right size and something that you like and see how she reacts... If she blusters that she has lost the receipt then you can say 'oh never mind, they are your size aren't they - I'll send them back to you so you can wear them' and see what she says. Depending on what she says (and if she volunteers to send something else in their place!) you can either give them straight back or wrap them up for her for her birthday/christmas (whichever comes first) - and she can hardly complain because you will have told her you are going to do that.

I'd also tell her that you think she has been done by the people that sold her the gift set as several of the main items have been taken out of it (is it one of those sets that has a little list on it somewhere of all the bits in it with their ingredients on, or has she taken that out to pre-empt that?) If there isn't anything on it that says what the contents should be, then if she challenges you, say that you looked it up online to double check the ingredients and the only set they did that had the ingredients in that she sent should also have had the other stuff in too.

And depending on whether or not you like the stuff in the gift set that she has left in it for you - tell her that it's the same as the stuff in the last set she gave you for christmas and it made your skin go funny but never mind, you know she likes elemis so you'll swap it with her when you next see her for something that you like from her regifting present box (does she have one of these? sounds like she does...)

and then sit back and enjoy the show as your birthday present!

if all else fails, give her something that you like that you think she won't for her next present and hopefully she'll give it back to you for your next present - at least you'll get something you like! Grin

Winetta · 28/05/2012 05:45

Noqontrol is it possible your mum feels like she somehow doesn't deserve the Champagne/nice hand cream (and feels like she is being generous in giving it away - whether she paid for it or not)? Just a thought...

NapaCab · 28/05/2012 05:52

Truly crap presents with no thought at all. You should return the courtesy when her birthday rolls around

It reminds me of the time my best friend at school (no longer friends now as she was a bit crackers) got me a DVD and some scented candles for my birthday...

...except she gave it to me a week late, the DVD was a free one from a magazine and the scented candle box was already open and even had a stubbed out cigarette butt in the corner... nice! Grin
(We were 17 and had part-time jobs by the way, so weren't broke 12 year olds or something)

TheQueenOfSheba · 28/05/2012 05:58

My mum always does something like this. Last year, for my "big present", she gave me a shirt that had previously been mine, that she'd rescued from the charity bag. DH and I just laugh about it now.

lunamoon · 28/05/2012 09:47

TheQueenOfSheba- That is one of the funniest things I have ever read, sorry to have a laugh at your expense. Did you keep it or have you managed to by-pass your mum and get the shirt out of your possession?.

get0rfm0iland · 28/05/2012 10:02

Happy birthday to you all.

OP I don't blame you for being upset, that is spectacularly crap. It would have been better to have received a present which cost a tenner but which she had bought especially, and actually took some time to think about.

thegreylady · 28/05/2012 10:27

If that was my mum I would tell her. Say you know its the thought that counts but you were there when she bought the trousers and she had already given you the deplenished gift set once. I would also suggest that if she is really stuck for ideas then vouchers would be great.
If it had been my mum I'd have mentioned cousin's pram too [ grin]

RoxyRobin · 28/05/2012 10:45

Hope it didn't spoil your birthday too much!

Sometimes I think presents should be banned - there's always at least one that ends up tainting your birthday or Christmas Day. We could all then just get on with eating cake and getting pissed.

One of my sisters is extremely rich but really mean with presents. It's like a disease. I once got some earrings from her which came from a shop patronized by Princess Diana. You could have knocked me down with a Prince of Wales feather. I thought she'd undergone some Damascene conversion - until I wore them. They were so uncomfortable I had to remove them after an hour, lovely though they looked.

Evidently she had bought them for herself and they'd hurt her too, so she recycled them to me. (Should make it clear they were clip-ons.)

Noqontrol · 28/05/2012 10:47

winetta I don't think she feels that she doesn't deserve it, but you are definitely right about her feeling generous by giving it away. Which is quite sweet really.

maddening · 28/05/2012 10:49

my friend gave me back the necklace I gave her for her birthday the year before

TheQueenOfSheba · 28/05/2012 11:00

Hi lunamoon, it did finally find its way to the charity shop. Also, mum knows I like Monsoon. So if she finds anything by Monsoon in The Age Concern shop, she'll get it for me for my next present. Doesn't matter what style or size it is. She once gave me a Monsoon cardigan... Size 22. I'm a 12/14. Also, she always says "it's new" when it clearly isn't as they all smell of mothballs.

Mum, if you're reading this, I love you dearly, but your presents are shit Grin

TheQueenOfSheba · 28/05/2012 11:57

Oh, and the last present I got from my dad was a five quid record token... in 1973 Grin

LookAtAllTheseFucksIGive · 28/05/2012 12:04

My mum is crap with pressies and gave me a box of chocs for my birthday in January. The fact it had a big christmas tree picture on the box didn't put her off. She'd obviously recieved them as a gift from one of her pupils and just regifted them to me. I kept the Agent Provocateur giftset she was hinting at for her birthday and gave her a £20 highstreet voucher I had left over from christmas in revenge.

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