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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my stupid body!

26 replies

SamuelWestsMistress · 26/05/2012 10:57

So up until last year I lost 3 stone. Last summer I got to a size 14 and was completely delighted. Looked great in clothes, wore a bikini on holiday and was pretty much delighted with how I was looking.

Fast forward to this year, I've gained no weight but in my head I'm where I was 3 stone ago. I look fat and disgusting in ALL my clothes. I feel terrible and am currently trying to lose a stone for my holidays in July.

AIBU to hate the fact that I feel like this again for NO reason. I've been like this for months. I aspire to be a size 12 but I thought I'd be happy at a 14, and previously I've been happy at a 16. (5'9 so am tall)

Grrrrrrr why can't I just accept myself why do I have to feel so terrible ALL the time.

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 26/05/2012 11:03

You've obviously done fantastically well at sorting out your diet and exercise, but have you really come to terms with your reasons for overeating in the first place?

PurplePidjin · 26/05/2012 11:04

Ps I'm a 5'5" 12 so probably a similar shape to you (ie always half a stone heavier than I'd like Wink)

Original poster
SamuelWestsMistress · 26/05/2012 11:12

It was just pregnancy and the fact I love good food. I know I've not got any emotional issues with it. I just live cooking and baking. I've not had trouble maintaining my weight. I can fluctuate up to 1/2 a stone during a month but thats just what my body has always done.

Perhaps it's because I've stopped losing? You feel good when you lose weight and I think it makes you look at yourself positively, then when it stops you feel shit again and are back to square one. Perhaps I need to lose more and find where I'm going to be happiest?

All I know is I hate feeling like this. I must waste 1/2 an hour a day looking in mirrors and feeling like shit about my appearance.

OP posts:
Labradorlover · 26/05/2012 11:25

I have hated my stupid body too. But that's because my back and pelvis are fucked and I haven't had a pain free day for years and I can't do some of the activities and work which I used to love doing.
Acceptance and looking for the positives is the way forward IMO. If you lost another stone, would you really be happy, or start looking for other imperfections? Life's too short for looking in the mirror and hating yourself and there's always swimsuits.

Nuttyprofessor · 26/05/2012 14:47

I have lost four stone and I take a size 10 clothes. I still feel fat. When I got to target I felt amazingly slim but as I got used to it I began to feel fatter. I may lose a bit more.

SimplySoo · 26/05/2012 15:01

This happened to me too after losing weight. It's subconsciously all the messages in the media telling us we're not okay with how we look, however we look! maybe go and buy a lovely new outfit, try on stuff you wouldn't normally wear?

KatyMac · 26/05/2012 15:05

There was a website (I found on here) where you put in your body measurements and it showed you people the same size as you

Seeing my weight on other people was enlightening.......

but I lost the address for it Blush sorry

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 26/05/2012 15:14

I think a lot of women feel the way you do. I am a size 10 yet I repeatedly pick up size 14 clothes. I feel fat but everyone tells me I am not. I think I suffer from body dysmorphia as I hate every single thing about the way I look. Everything.

EarthInBeautyDressed · 26/05/2012 15:19

I lost two stone and felt pretty similar to you.

Then in a quirk of fate, I broke my leg, very badly and with much scarring. I have had a complete turnaround in how I feel about my body. I am beyond grateful that it is functional again and will try not to lose sight of how good that first non-aided walk felt. Despite the fact one ankle is still huge and meds have given me shocking fluid retention, I am content.

BlueBirdsNest · 26/05/2012 15:24

I put on random punds from taking anti-depressants!

Thank you big pharmi companys , making me fat was just what I needed when I was done

Some people feel happy with their weight and being a bit cuddly, other people don't

If you look in mirror and think to yourself , I Look fat, it's horrible but you also have the tools within yourself to change it if you want to

fatlazymummy · 26/05/2012 17:52

I'm starting to feel a bit like this myself. I have lost over 4 stone, I'm almost down to my target weight. At 1st I felt great, now I'm starting to feel a little bit sad that I haven't got my 'pre-fat' body back again, and realistically I probably never will. I'm just coming to terms with the fact that I probably will always have a flabby tummy, no matter how many crunches I do. I probably will always have little bingo wings no matter how hard I work at my arms.
The thing is though, very few people have bodies that are perfect. Most of us [especially women] lack confidence in our looks and think everyone else looks better than we do. It's a matter of making the most of what we have, and then just forgetting about it and getting on with more important things.
earthinbeautydressed makes a great point as well. Our health is the single most important thing.Being a healthy weight and being able to move around is a million times more important than what size jeans we can squeeze into.

fatlazymummy · 26/05/2012 18:00

Katymac was this the website you meant? www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight.html
Hope this is helpful OP!

TheHouseOnTheCorner · 26/05/2012 18:08

Great site fatlazymummy I just saw myself there and think I have a realistic picture of my bod. It's not great and not terrible...I seem to have got stuck. I'm 5 6 and a half and weigh around 11 stones...I am a size 14 on the bottom and a 12 on the top...I feel flabola and want to get to a 12 all over. Im not in proportion due to hips and thighs really. Have lost a stone in the past 6 months.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 26/05/2012 18:13

My weight is fine.

I just need to be 6 inches, at least, taller

TrollopDollop · 26/05/2012 18:37

Well done for the 3 stone weight loss. I take my hat off to you. In fact well done to all of you for the great weight losses. That website is brilliant but also sadly confirmed what I look like Blush. Would any of you mind sharing how you lost weight.

PurplePidjin · 26/05/2012 18:38

Mine was 2.5st of antidepressants. I kicked them and got some personal training, lost 2st then found out I'm pg (13 weeks with PFB) I'm starting now with preparing myself that my body will be a different shape post partum and even several years later. I think it might come as a shock?

bonzo77 · 26/05/2012 18:55

I feel the same. 5 ft 2. Was 10st 8 and a size 12. Now 8st 6 and a size 8. Still look at my thighs and recoil in horror. Have a double chin that I didn't back in the day. Absolutely ludicrous because if I were someone else and looked at me I'd probably think I looked fine.

fatlazymummy · 26/05/2012 20:23

trollopdollop I have posted on this thread [post no.7] if that helps.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1479801-Can-a-vegetarian-perimenopausal-50-yr-old-with-busy-life-really-lose-weight

Ormiriathomimus · 26/05/2012 20:31

samuel - do you exercise?

if not it might help. Losing weight is lovely but perhaps if you could admire your body for what it could do as well as how it looks it would help? I've got back into running recently and although I've lost no weight or bulk, I have toned what I have and feel a huge sense of pride in the distances/times I can run.

Apologies if I am teaching a female ancestor to suck oeufs.

FrancescaCarrington · 26/05/2012 21:57

I found this site really useful www.mybodygallery.com/search.html?height=5+4&weight=170&pant=any&shirt=any&zphoto=Large&new=1

Krumbum · 26/05/2012 23:13

Buy some flattering clothes that you really like to make yourself feel less self conscious and find fun things to do when your feeling bad about yourself. It's so unfair the pressure on women and looks/weight.

carernotasaint · 27/05/2012 01:05

Hi samuel I know how you feel. Ten years ago i lost 10 stone (21 stone down to 11) cutting a very long story short i was (and still am) in a sexless marriage and i had a long term affair which began in 2003 and ended in early 2008. I comfort ate and gained back five stone. I went to my school reunion last year weighing 16 stone 11 and felt thouroughly miserable. I lost about half a stone between Nov and xmas and have been seriously dieting since the end of Feb and have lost 1 stone 4 pounds. I was going to SW classes but now i get weighed at my GP surgery. Seeing the big losses at group was skewing my perception somewhat. My GP has said its a normal weight loss for the amount of time. I just have to put up with the fact that its slow.

carernotasaint · 27/05/2012 01:11

Also at group we had an incident where a 5"5 woman who was under ten stone was in tears one week because shed put on 2 pounds. (shed gone from 18 stone down to 9 stone 10. She came back the following week having lost 7 pounds in a week after eating loads of their Scan Bran. I realised that that wasnt an environment i wanted to continue to be a part of, so i set up regular weigh ins at my surgery and walked away from the class. But i havent walked away from losing weight.

carernotasaint · 27/05/2012 01:14

Well done on all your weight losses ladies. But i also agree with whats been said upthread. There is more to life than what we weigh.

carernotasaint · 27/05/2012 01:25

And im damn sure OP that you do NOT look disgusting in your clothes. A poster here mentioned messages coming from the media. That is why i stopped buying celebrity magazines. I think the diet industry feeds off all the shit in the media as well.