To think schools ask for too much parental involvement

[zozzle]

I work and am getting a bit perplexed at how much the school wants us to do in the name of the home/school partnership. Am very happy to help with DCs homework (aged 4 and 8), and pay for their after school activities etc.

But I don't want to spend my time selling raffle tickets, making fancy dress outfits, buying buns, toys and chocolates for school fair in return for kids having a non-uniform day etc etc. It's all a faff and and a hassle when I'm trying to juggle everything!

Would much rather give the school £30 or so at the beginning of the school year for the PTA to spend as they choose and be done with it!

Does anyone else feel like this?

Sometimes it can be a bit much, but my DC really enjoy it, and I do love that community spirit of it all.

I do. although you tend to get your arse handed to you for admitting you don't have this School Community Spirit

I particularly love having to go to tesco and spend a fiver on a pack of buns which then get sold for 20p each School gets a couple of quid, you've given the supermarket a fiver [boggle]

I would really rather just send my children to school, have them educated, pay for any trips and activities and that's that.

Let the people who enjoy it do it but they should not have the judgyface at those of us who really aren't interested, like we're letting the side down or something.

wheresmymilk - I PROMISE you that when I typed this, your post was not there

We're just considering sending our boys to a school that allows NO disposable packaging in a packed lunch. And I'm in Australia so there are no school lunches. FFS, I bet they expect me to learn to sew, crochet, bake etc too.

I'm with you. YANBU.

Yep I'm not really interested and can't really be arsed. My husband and I do volunteer in our community - so it's not as if the kids aren't getting the "community is important" message.

I completely agree. Thank goodness 2 now go to an independent school where they keep this annoying stuff to a minimum - probably realising that both parents tend to work and don't have all day to ponce about making cupcakes.

The cake sale thing drives me mad.

I buy the ingredients. I make the cakes. The school sells the cakes back to me.

Somehow paying fees seems more sensible.

I think the school does a great job, and my kids love it so no complaints there - but just don't rope the parents in all the time!

Really Hecate? :o

I suppose also in some ways, as we moved from a big city where didn't know anyone, that now, without being to vomit inducing I love all that stuff, plus I am not to ally altruistic as used it to get to know people.

I agree with you but just wanted to point out that the home-school agreement isn't a cast iron contract of law or anything like that. Just do what you feel happy and able to do; I never send in cakes or sell raffle tickets but I do give generously in other areas; I often round up my voluntary donations for trips etc and always send in extras if for example DD has to send in craft materials.

I agree especially re: the economic futility of spending £5 on donations for school that are then sold for 80p (not the mention the number of man hours that have gone into setting up the stall, buying the bags for people's cakes, finding volunteers to do it).

Once one of the PTA was complaining to me that they didn't have enough volunteers (when I'd just said that I wasn't going to be able to commit so many hours after needing to up my hours at work), I said 'Well maybe we could do less events, or make them smaller if we don't have enough volunteers? Or do events that are a bit more low-maintenance? We could just tell people that we're making it smaller because we dont' have enough volunteers and if people want a bigger event they'll have to volunteer next year to make it happen.' She looked at me like I'd suggested we burn down the school.

BECSTARSKY! I did EXACTLY this last year and got pretty much the same reaction.

We had a school soup lunch where the PTA moaned about not enough volunteers. In fcat they ended up with TWELVE mums helping (the school only has 100 kids in it).

They all got given a bunch of flowers for their selflessness. What a complete waste of money!

I agree with you whole heartedly. Luckily mine are now past primary school and secondary school don't ask you for much involvement at all.

It is unfortunate that schools have to raise all this money for bare essentials.

In the States children have to supply their own equipment. Mums are given a list at the beginning of the school year and the children take it in. My friend had a list that included: 24 pencils/pens, pack of printer paper, a packet of antibacterial wipes, rolls of paper towels, boxes of tissue, etc. Everyone brings in the supplies, it is put in cupboard and dished out when needed, to whom ever needs it.

Far better system I feel.

interregnum It appears to be a radical idea that could only come from someone who doesn't think of the chiiiilldren! I thought it was just common dog, but from her reaction I am clearly a bad, bad, selfish mother.

yes, I feel like this. But In know I shouldn't !

My DH never goes to these school do's, he just groans that cannot cope with all the cheerful goodwill around him , I know what he means.

The Grinch who ate Chandon

just give them the money, job done! I did the same with pre-school, as NO WAY was I selling bastard raffle tickets, so I just wacked on an extra £30 every term

In my defence, I work FT so time for anything other than work/kids is sadly slim

I'm afraid I disagree.
I'm on maternity leave and really enjoying getting involved. It's great to be invited in for open sessions and see my DCs in a completely different light, with their friends. I know it's tough when you're working too. DCs love when I go in too.
I also teach so see how excited all your DCs get when mummy/daddy is coming to school. Have a heart, grin and bare it!

Yep am up for going in and watching assemblies, open sessions etc - its the asking me to make, bring in, sell or buy things that gets me.

The trouble is when you look at the PTA accounts (unless yours is better run than ours), you see that it if it was a business it would be operating at a tremendous loss. Huge amounts of work, lots of coffee and biscuits, loads of donations from local businesses and helpful parents, ten meetings to agree one tiny point, masses of wasted food and donations left over after each fair, lots of stuff sold below cost price... Money and time and goodwill pouring in. And then a teeny tiny trickle of money coming back to the school. Maybe there are PTAs out there getting things done efficiently, spending very little and giving more to the school than they are taking - I've only got experience of the one I've helped out at. It doesn't even feel like I'm contributing anything when I help out or bring stuff in - I'm just doing it so that DS doesn't feel left out.

Too much faff and hassle to add a bit of fun to your DCs life, but not too much hassle to moan on here.

Yes PTAs can be a pain, I think we'd be delighted if people gave us a donation in Sept and a polite letter saying sorry WOHM or worlds worst baker.
A bit of cash in hand to buy burgers or tombola toys would be great.

No one ever has (I've done PTA for 10 years), People just moan

Schools expecting fancy dress at 2 minutes notice you may moan about, even as a SAHM that is a real pita.

Completely agree.

I grew up watching my (full-time working) mum initially stress about this stuff and rant about the school, and then laugh about it and take the piss, like sending my brother in normal wrapped in (not enough) tin foil as fancy dress, sending shop-bought frozen pizza in its box, not defrosted as contribution for a party etc etc.

Am following her example, maybe with more subtletly!

becstarsky

That is disgraceful and our PTA has made a loss on about one event in all the years I've done it and even that we managed to reschedule for a dry day and recoup.

Yanbu. It's the feckin fancy dress that tips me over the edge.

I must admit nowadays though I just do the bits I can and ignore the stuff I can't. I didn't get round to selling books of raffle tickets this time and the world still appears to be turning on it's axis. I don't let let get to me too much anymore.

I used to make my sister (very talented. lives miles away) make the costume.

And when people would say ooh, how wonderful, isn't that a BRILLIANT costume, I would smile and say thank you

I'm the opposite! Have lots of time on my hands, so don't mind all the helping out, just wish they didn't want so much money all the time! I think we should have a choice of whether we give either time, or money, and not be made to feel guilty when we can't do the other!