To think schools ask for too much parental involvement

[zozzle]

I work and am getting a bit perplexed at how much the school wants us to do in the name of the home/school partnership. Am very happy to help with DCs homework (aged 4 and 8), and pay for their after school activities etc.

But I don't want to spend my time selling raffle tickets, making fancy dress outfits, buying buns, toys and chocolates for school fair in return for kids having a non-uniform day etc etc. It's all a faff and and a hassle when I'm trying to juggle everything!

Would much rather give the school £30 or so at the beginning of the school year for the PTA to spend as they choose and be done with it!

Does anyone else feel like this?

Its not always the PTA that arrange last minute things. In my experience it is the schools themselves. The pta generally does the work of many for no reward.

RavenRose so don't go to all of them then?!

I assume the school organises lots of events with the idea that all the parents will be available to come to some of them. That's certainly how my school thinks. Different events organised on different days/ different times mean Mr/Mrs A can't make this one but Mr/Mrs B can and next time it's the other way round.

You don't have to go to everything surely??

My kids understand that some things Mum can come to and some things she can't. So long as I show my face occasionally they're ok with that.

"Would much rather give the school £30 or so at the beginning of the school year for the PTA to spend as they choose and be done with it!

Does anyone else feel like this?"

Oh yes. Indeed we wrote a letter to the Headmistress suggesting exactly that. It did not go well. The Chair of The PTA was extremely upset.

The fact is that working parents find this kind of stuff very hard to organise and the basic assupmption is there is a SAHM to do it all which is increasingly not the case with either both parents working and single parent families becoming the norm.

We were not the only parents who felt this way - there was an event or some sort of parental interaction required on a weekly basis of 2 -3 times a week.

I can imagine the terms in which you wrote to the Head!

Don't make a big deal out of it. Donate the 30 quid and then just don't do anything else all year. Sorted.

But remember that some people can't afford to do that. Children enjoy the events that are organised. And some people enjoy working together to do things, rather than just throw money at the problem.

By the way I don't know what it's like in more affluent areas but around here most 'stay at home parents' would have babies/toddlers at home so equally don't have acres of time or the ability to pop into school at the drop of a hat. I don't personally know anyone who is at home all day every day with no children ready and able to go into school whenever requested.

Just making the point that it's not a working parents -v- stay at home parents thing.

As I said you do what you can and say sorry but no to the things you can't? Surely that's ok?

If you feel the school is being too demanding of your time, let them know.

Our school tends to do the same events every year, so there's a whole bunch of Tudor costumes, evacuee costumes, Egyptian costumes, etc doing the rounds, being lent out or passed on, so the only effort required is finding the people with children older than you with the costumes to pass on.

The less notice you get to provide a costume, the less effort everyone can put in. I know plenty at school who would go completely over the top with more notice to put something together.

How difficult is it to knock up a batch of fairy cakes? They're made from basic store cupboard items. Older primary children can make them themselves, so little effort required on your part (apart from a little washing up).

If you find it difficult to attend all events, lower your children's expectations, but pin point some events you are able to attend.

And remember, the PTA isn't some remote body in your school. It's what you're a part of. If you're not happy with the way it's run, get involved and gear the committee towards running it in a way more condusive to the majority of parents.

Yes, it's a PITA sometimes to do what might be asked of you by the school, but it won't be long before you have no involvement at all and the chances are you might miss it just a little bit.

Our DCs just moved to a new school and they have MUCH less fundraising.

We don't miss it one bit.

Yes I do think schools ask too much from parents especially Primary Schools. Today I've had a letter from my twins school about a school trip they want per child £11 for the trip, £3.50 spending money, a packed lunch (have school meals) and they have to dress up as a Saxon and they'd like parents to volunter to help out on the trip. Do they think I have nothing better to do than find a fancy dress costume of a Saxon and the total cost is asking too much. Yes the children will have a great day. But they seem to be going on trips all the time and if its not trips its wear what you like day for a £1 or a jar of sweets for the PTA. Nearly everyday I get a letter home asking for money or a dressing up outfit or to volunteer myself for something. What happend to the schools just educating our children. And the amount of homework they send home is too much, they probably don't have the time to educate them at school anymore, too busy with raising money for the school.