Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Smoking in school grounds.

34 replies

MaryPorter · 25/05/2012 00:12

I was waiting to collect DC from pre-school, was 5-10 mins early and there were a few other parents also waiting. One parent got up, moved away from where we were waiting and lit up a fag. I was because

1 - It was right in the middle of the school grounds.

2 - Said parent then moved to stand outside the reception doors where the P1 and P2 children come out. Finished his fag then flicked it on the ground.

Anyway I said nothing. Then today they did it again. I'm not that comfortable with saying something directly. WIBU to mention to staff or should I just keep my mouth shut? There's only a few weeks left of the school year anyway.

Feel like I want to point out I'm not an anti-smoking lobbyist. Just that I don't think its an appropriate place to smoke.

OP posts:

doormat · 25/05/2012 00:19

could you not speak to the school and ask if they could laminate some no smoking signs they have printed on the doors....next time you see him smoking you could point to the sign...

definitely yanbu

Inertia · 25/05/2012 00:21

School sites are non-smoking (inside and out) , so YANBU even before you consider the utter selfishness of this man.

Don't tackle, report it to the Head teacher. Sounds as though the presence of a member of staff such as the caretaker is needed .

mumnosbest · 25/05/2012 00:25

YANBU. Schools are public places like hospitals. You are not allowed to smoke within school grounds. I frequently lean out of my window and remind parents of this

Original poster

MaryPorter · 25/05/2012 00:29

Thanks for replying :)

Inertia I definitely would only mention it to staff, tbh I'm not sure if any of the other parents even noticed or had an issue.

Doormat the parent has a visual impairment so I don't think that would work in this instance. I assume that's why they don't walk to outside the gates to smoke, however surely its possible to wait 5 mins?

OP posts:

Buckingfiatch · 25/05/2012 00:42

Can they not smoke outside the school gates then?

I see many of parents blocking hanging around the gates smoking. Does my nut in whilst trying to get through with a baby in a pram and coming out with DS too.

I am also not an anti smoker. I smoke, so would be hypocritical. But always assumed that because they was off school grounds, nothing but a "tut" etc could be done.

Noqontrol · 25/05/2012 00:43

Visual impairment has nothing to do with it. My Dh has a visual impairment

Buckingfiatch · 25/05/2012 00:49

Ah, think I took the inside or out statement wrongly. (as in, in and just outside of school grounds) Doh.

Ignore me :)

mumnosbest · 25/05/2012 00:52

Lol. That smoke cloud at the gate is annoying though

Original poster

MaryPorter · 25/05/2012 00:57

Ok I've decided then. Unless I wake up in the morning to a rash of "YABU lighten up you unreasonable cow" posts, I will speak to pre-school staff when I drop off.

They'll likely know it was me anyway, cos of my cats bum face

OP posts:

Original poster

MaryPorter · 25/05/2012 01:03

mumnosbest that's the thing, its a large school campus (pre school, primary, secondary) but I've only ever seen a few parents smoking outside the gate.

At previous school, when my daughter started Reception, I was stunned to see parents rocking up on the first day of term with a can of super lager! Maybe that's why I wasn't sure if I was being precious re the smoking, cos you know, its not alcohol, swearing or pyjamas

OP posts:

Buckingfiatch · 25/05/2012 01:06

I only ever smoke first thing before DC wake, whilst youngest is napping during the day, and on a night whilst they are asleep. Not that I judge others who smoke any other time, I just don't like my children having to (even temporarily) walk through/breathe in a cloud of smoke. Even if they stood a few metres away from the gates, it would be much better. But some don't, and hog the gates. Why, I don't know considering there is loads of room elsewhere.

Buckingfiatch · 25/05/2012 01:09

Mary, I had heard many a time of these stories of mums turning up in their pjs. I thought it was a myth till the other week. After DS being at the school for 4 years, twice within one week I noticed mums in their pjs and had to laugh to myself :o

missingmumxox · 25/05/2012 01:35

HOW awful! I would flog him, fortunatly I can hussle my Pfb's into my car and drive home very quickly as I only live round the corner. *

I have to say the local hospital have the same rule no smoking in the grounds, when I worked there well they could get me on a disaplinary, but now I live in the alley way by the hospital I go into the grounds and chuff away...so sue me.

To be fair I do agree with you OP, much as I smoke, I don't agree with it in certain places, and a school playground is not the place, but it is a stupid rule as the gates all the children are churning through, this father was in an empty playground, it is his littering I object too.
*tis a joke.. but not!

NicNocJnr · 25/05/2012 01:45

YANBU. I have been a smoker, Dh has unfortunately relapsed but what always got our goat was some smoker's blatant lack of manners (and other people in different ways but besides the point).

I never, ever wanted to smoke around my children & managed to give up. Dh didn't want to either so is out of the way - our reasoning has always been it's not up to us to decide that you want to smoke so we'll keep it away from you. Even more so from children, if we don't want it around ours why on earth would we do it around other kids?
The other things is who is so fucking lazy they have to throw a fag butt on the floor? We never have (as precious as that sounds) I hate it, I wouldn't chuck anything else on the ground when I was finished with it. If you can't get to a bin you have a) a fag packet right there in your pocket b) a pocket c) your hand that wont drop off before you pass a bin.
if you don't like the fact you might have to shove a butt in your lovely clothes maybe you should have thought to buy one of those little pots for fag butts (I can't remember what they're called now because I'm old. Handy for loose things now though!).

I'm a right grumpy git about stuff like this though and am often found open mouthed when a parent is bemoaning chewing gum or litter all over the street while at the very same second is flicking rubbish onto the ground! Hello?! self-awareness called, he missed your birth and desperately needs to catch up with you. If you are at school as an adult you are, by default, being a role model in terms of expected behaviour don't be a lazy, rude bastard.
But then I'm that woman - the one that said 'why don't you just say what you mean? I don't like dealing with other people's rubbish but am too entitled to deal with my own mess and expect someone else to pick up after me because I'm special'. Not in front of his child though...I'm not that that woman.

Huh, I'm obviously a cross one today! I'm not a litterer though so it really bothers me. It's not even about smoking because most of the people I see take it round the side of the entrance - never on the playground! And I'm fine with whatever they want to do as long as they continue being thoughtful like I try to be.

NicNocJnr · 25/05/2012 01:51

Awww MissingMum makes me look like I've the sense of humour of a blistered bumhole!

Gah, maybe I'm turning into one of those people that carry spray bottles and cough deliberately at smokers ye gads, I hope not.
They make me cringe. I can't help but see it as weird - like I wouldn't come and stand closer to you, fixing you with a stare and conspicuoulsy rub myself in spices to protest that your stinky food in an enclosed space will make me smell of curried/fried/oniony armpit - it's bizarre. Anyway back on point.
DH votes YANBU too.

LindyHemming · 25/05/2012 07:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmberLeaf · 25/05/2012 07:33

YANBU

The parent shouldnt be smoking on school grounds if the rules state that you mustnt.

However, I assume its out in the open air? and the children are inside?

Its going to blow away before they come out of class and its 1 cig not an atomic bomb.

I totally agree that its not a good example to be smoking in a school, but I think people get a tad hysterical over things like this these days.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 25/05/2012 07:42

YADNBU, that is disgusting, I would probably say something to the parent but then I am the smoking police around my children, especially my son who has a terminal lung condition.
I have reported smoking on the school grounds or at the gate loads of times, we have huge signs and a notice goes out in the weekly newsletter and in family assembly. There is no need for people to be smoking around others full stop, let alone vulnerable people (children, sick) as for the littering afterwards at a toddler picking up a cigarette butt.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 25/05/2012 07:44

Smoking in playgrounds is vile behaviour.

I smoke but smoking is just not a acceptable in children's areas like school playgrounds. It's disrespectful of children and of other parents and is just plain selfish.

Groovee · 25/05/2012 07:46

Edinburgh schools haven't allowed staff or parents to smoke on the grounds since the mid 90's. I remember passing the staff room after it was implemented at high school and thinking what a difference. I've twice seen grandparents standing in the playground smoking, in the 9 years i've been taking the children there.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 25/05/2012 07:52

I'm a smoker myself but in the 14 years my DCs have been at school, I have never felt the need to light up, either on the way to school, at the gates or in the actual playground.

Definitely report it to the head.

Original poster

MaryPorter · 25/05/2012 09:04

Euphemia no he probably didn't see me, but I'm guessing his wife did.

I think the reason I was miffed is because it wasn't in the middle of an empty playground, if it was I probably would have just done this and thought no more of it. Due to the layout, the pick up area is at the side of the building, so you're in between two buildings, this is where parents wait to collect and there are children there - younger siblings etc.

Fwiw he left the small gated play area for nursery, but only to move to somewhere no better imo

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 25/05/2012 09:16

How does the visual impairment allow him to walk in through the gates but not out again? . Talk to the teacher, they are obliged to stop him as it's illegal as well as totally inappropriate.

littlemissnormal · 25/05/2012 09:21

YANBU, I recently had the same issue with my DDs preschool. The worst thing was that one of the teachers frequently joined them and I felt it was really wrong for DD to see a teacher smoking outside the school.

I spoke to the HT who has stopped the teacher (she was also cross about it as they used her plant pots as ashtrays!) but so far seems to have not been able to prevent the parents even with signage.

mumnosbest · 25/05/2012 12:38

Mary I think you must come to my school with the parents in pjs and cans of super strength.
Euphemia It was me hanging out the window. This time of year all my windows were open and the kids were saying 'what's that smell?'
As for the dodgy haircuts, I think I'd turn a blind eye while the others played hairdressers and fixed it, only kidding but tempting

Flip

1 2