hubby wants baby no2 when baby no1 isnt even 2 yet!!!!

[lilybeansmummy]

my husband has said he wants us to start for baby no2 when our daughter turns 2, which is the end of the year! i have told him i dont want to have another 1 before she is 4, my reasons being at 4 she can help out and 'be involved', she will be at school so wont notice that she's not getting as much attention! i just dont want her to feel that she wasnt enuf for us, i love her so much and i just dont want to hurt her in anyway, i know i am probably being ridiculous cos i do want her to have siblings but i just cant give up my time with her yet! my hubby thinks the closer the better cos than they can grow up together with the same interests!
i also believe i shud want the nxt baby as much as i wanted my daughter and right now i dont want another yet!

The other thing to consider - and really important IMO - is whether you feel ready in yourself to put your body through all of the pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding (if applicable) again yet. Your DH is absolutely not allowed to argue with this one

Aside from that, all age groups have their advantages and disadvantages, so I'd just go with the flow but obviously try to come to some kind of agreement! If you're worried about 2 under 3 being a handful, how involved is he, does he step in and do his share when he's home? If you want a longer age gap, have you thought about when/if you eventually go back to work and how that will fit in?

It's what's right for you, and no one else can decide that.

There is 21 months between my two which works really well for us. We planned that though, both felt we were ready to try for number 2 and I fell pregnant very quickly.

The first year was very tough, ds2 was a clingy baby, but they are so close now, it's great. I also was unlucky in that I had some health problems and when ds2 was 15 months old I had to have a radical hysterectomy so had we waited we may not have had a 2nd child.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

You have a baby when it suits you as a family. BUT you also need to factor in how long it might take you to get pregnant. I got pregnant with DS first month of trying but it took over 6 months with DD. Timings worked out really well for us as she arrived a couple of months before he started school and so all was settled by the time he went.

No right or wrong answer to this one. I have a 2 year gap ad they play together really well. Its like they have two birthdays as they both get excited about each otheres presents. However, we started trying when dd was 6 months due to having fertility issues.
Now I am expecting a third. Other dc will be 8 and 6. Think gap could be a challenge but dc are really excited.
As others have said bear in mind that if you leave it too long you may not fall quickly and have an even bigger age gap.

Neither of you are being unreasonable but I had that age gap and i think its a pretty common one. It isnt too difficult

You will be the one carrying the child, giving birth and possibly doing the larger share of child care, so your husband can give you his opinion but ultimately the descision is yours as it is your body. Wait until you are ready.

DH is the youngest of 3, his dsis is 10 years older and his db is nearly 6 years older. He isn't in contact with either and says that he's always felt like an only child.

Agree with everyone; no-one is in the wrong here. Just want to say I am another with a 20 month gap; it's fine. I know big gaps where there's been awful sibling rivalry and vv. and small gaps where the children have not been close and vv. I think it's down to temperament of the child really as to whether they'll be close to their sibling, not proximity of age.

I was 19 months older than my DSis and we are really close; my other Dsis is 10 years my junior and same goes. We just have a strong family bond.

When Man plans the future the Gods smile!!!

Considering you are the one who gets pregnant and - probably - who stops working for a year (at least) to raise the child, I think your opinion has a bit more weight. But still, both are right for wanting a smaller/bigger age gap, and you'd better talk about it and agree on a plan.