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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is unprofessional isn't it?

71 replies

happy2bhomely · 23/05/2012 19:36

I have a facebook friend who is a childminder. She often posts photos of her mindees on facebook. I have wondered about this, but thought maybe she has the parents permission.

Today she has posted a message similar to "Oh no, Moaning Martin Monday!" (I have changed the name!)
Lots of her friends have replied with, "Oh no! Not Moaning Martin!" or "You'll need your earplugs today. That kid doesn't stop crying!" And "Martin? Who calls a fucking kid Martin?"

I feel really sad thinking about 'Martin'. If this was my child I would be fuming. In fact, I am fuming, but am I over reacting?

OP posts:
misslinnet · 23/05/2012 19:52

YANBU. It's extremely unprofessional.

BerryCheesecake · 23/05/2012 19:53

Def take screen shots as evidence. Screen shot all comments made too.

Destrier · 23/05/2012 19:54

Yes, but is she fed up because the child in moany, or is the child moany because of her... wentheEternallySurprised

WenTheEternallySurprised · 23/05/2012 19:55

Ah, that I couldn't tell you, Destrier. :)

landofsoapandglory · 23/05/2012 19:55

You can ring OFSTED anonymously AFAIK. They will probably ask you if you would be able to provide the proof if necessary.

ENormaSnob · 23/05/2012 19:57

Yanbu

Definitely report the stupid bitch.

AKMD · 23/05/2012 19:57

Oftsted complaints information here.

You should definitely report her, with as much detail as you know and screenshots of every post and photo you can find. No child deserves this kind of treatment and she is breaching her duty of care in a very serious way. Can you imagine finding out that your small child had been humiliated in a public forum with names and photos? :(

NorksAreMessy · 23/05/2012 19:57

Perhaps she doesn't realise HOW many people will see this, link it, talk about it. perhaps she thinks that FB is like email???
A message to warn her might be a good idea BEFORE you send in the heavy artillery.
That said, if Martin were my child I WOULD be sending the entire might of officialdom in her direction

Original poster
happy2bhomely · 23/05/2012 19:58

I'm going to take screenshots now. Who exactly would I email? I should have done this last week. I feel terrible for not looking out for him. I've never used child care and was doubting myself about how wrong this was.

OP posts:
Destrier · 23/05/2012 19:59

Smile wentheEternallySurprised

I think the error is in her atitiude, rather than posting about it on Facebook (although that's wrong, too)

I hate the thought of children being upset and not being able to do anything about the situation.

HypercriticalOaf · 23/05/2012 19:59

Presumably Wen, people who can't abide moany children shouldn't /wouldn't really become childminders, would they? Grin

No point approaching her directly OP, if she's likely to just remove you from her 'friends' an carry on as normal.

Report her! Not only has she been disclosing confidential info on a public domain but she has clearly discussed poor Martin with her RL friends too. Not nice (or professional!) at all Angry

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 23/05/2012 20:00

She is extremely unprofessional and is yet another stupid oaf putting us childminders in disrepute yet again. Report her please!

People like her should not be in charge of looking after other people's children.

Stupid bloody twat.
Her, not you.

Original poster
happy2bhomely · 23/05/2012 20:02

Sorry, I'm not fast enough to keep up!

I will read the links, thank you.

I don't actually think she deserves a friendly warning...she knows she shouldn't be doing this and obviously doesn't care.

OP posts:
AKMD · 23/05/2012 20:05

The Ofsted info I linked to doesn't give an email address but the phone number is 0300 1231231. I would give them a call and ask where to send screenshots.

The information pamphlet does say that you can remain anonymous.

TheMonster · 23/05/2012 20:06

That's awful! She is paid to care for that kid, moaning or not!

WenTheEternallySurprised · 23/05/2012 20:07

Destrier, but the child isn't likely to read the posts in order to be upset, surely? I know that's incidental and that the CM shouldn't have written what she did regardless but I think might be padding the story out a bit to say that the child's going to be upset, IYSWIM.

HypercriticalOaf, oh my goodness you're so damn right! Or at least I hope you are! I have much admiration for childminders and honestly don't know how the hell they manage it. :)

Softlysoftly · 23/05/2012 20:09

No friendly warnings imagine if you were Martins mum, and in RL she can't be very pleasant to the kids she speaks of that way, never mind confidentiality I can't imagine can't parent signing off on using their child's photos and details on a social fb site.

Report report report, with screenshots.

Emphaticmaybe · 23/05/2012 20:11

It is unprofessional but sadly you see this kind of thing a lot. She is not chatting with friends at home, she is feeding a social media site with information that should be completely confidential. So often people just don't know when to shut the fuck up, which is fine if it's anonymous or just about yourself, but not when you are exposing someone else, especially a child, and your employer's child at that.
I would chat to her and tell her that you think she's mad to be doing this and the parents would be within their rights to get her struck off.

Original poster
happy2bhomely · 23/05/2012 20:13

I've just gone on to take snapshots and there are more comments. She has put that it is humiliating having to shout 'Martin' in public. She says she feels sorry for him.

For all I know she might be perfectly nice to the child, but her attitude is awful.

OP posts:
WenTheEternallySurprised · 23/05/2012 20:17

"in RL she can't be very pleasant to the kids she speaks of that way"

Now there's a poster who's never been out for a drink with a bunch of off-duty teachers! Grin

You think it's not possibe to be pleasant, polite and kind to children you don't particularly like, softlysoftly? Even I've managed it!

Lovelynewboots · 23/05/2012 20:24

"For all I know she might be perfectly nice to the child, but her attitude is awful."

No child care professional acts this way either on facebook, or discussing with friends. She should be Ofsted registered and subject to inspections by them. If she is not she should not be child minding. Don't doubt yourself about this.

frumpet · 23/05/2012 20:41

Have to say that some children i imagine are very difficult to look after , if they are the sort that constantly crys etc , this does not mean that the woman isnt doing her very best to deal with the child in a professional and caring manner . Perhaps she thinks that just having friends on FB means that she can offload to other people who understand how difficult it can be to placate a distraught child or baby who has been left by their parent in childcare .

Glitterknickaz · 23/05/2012 20:44

What the very jeff is wrong with the name Martin?
My son is Martyn for very good reasons. For that I'd poke her with a sharp stick.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 23/05/2012 20:46

Wen, there is a huge difference between having a private converstaion about children you don't like much with close friends or colleagues and actively disrespecting them and showing that you wish you didn't have to deal with them on the Internet.

If this has been going on a while I can't believe she still has business.

AKMD · 23/05/2012 20:46

Glitter, relax; Martin is not the child's name. The OP picked it to go with 'Monday'. Alliteration and such...