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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have thrown this woman out of my house??

70 replies

Ruudiluca · 23/05/2012 15:00

OK I am fully prepared to be told that I was being very U!

At the weekend we had a small gathering of close family and friends to celebrate my DH's birthday.

One of our friends turned up and had a bit to drink and later phoned a woman (they aren't an item but are sleeping together I think), me and DH have never met this woman but a lot of people at the party have and do not like her.

Our friend did not ask either of us if she could come round and the first I heard of it was me opening the door to a complete stranger. I was a bit shocked but took the more the merrier approach.

Anyway this woman came into my home and proceeded to say hello to all of our friends there and completely blanked me and my dh. There was no thank you for having me or anything.

I tried to engage in conversation with this woman twice during the evening, both when she was sitting with people she knew so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger. The first time she ignored me, the second time I directed a question at her and she literally turned her face away from me. Talk about a snub But she was quite happy to talk to other people that she had not met before, just not me.

I felt her behavior was extremely rude. The final straw was when the a few guys at the party (who had had a bit to drink) were joking with her. She made a joke about my husband (a friendly one) which my husband laughed at and made a joke back (in no way was it offensive imo). She got really annoyed and stormed out of the room. I was in the door way and she knocked me as she was coming through. I made a comment like "hey!" in shock and she turned around and gave me the filthiest look I have ever seen in my life. It was a look of complete disgust, she looked me up and down.

I saw red and asked her (I didnt shout) to get the hell out of my house and told her that she needed to remove the massive chip on her shoulder before she was ever welcome here again.

She left but it put a massive downer on the rest of the evening, which pissed me off.

WIBU???

OP posts:
ViviPru · 23/05/2012 15:02

YANBU to have whomsoever you choose in your house. You lost the moral high ground a bit though with the "get the hell out" and "massive chip on her shoulder" etc.

RetiredDJ · 23/05/2012 15:02

YANBU.

Oogaballoo · 23/05/2012 15:02

What a bizarre person. Who blanks someone when they're a guest in their house?

Ithinkitsjustme · 23/05/2012 15:03

I'd have done the same. Why do you think you were being unreasonable? Has anyone said anything? Your house, your party - you have who you want there.

medievalgirl · 23/05/2012 15:04

YANBU. She sounds quite bizarre. It's your house.

redrubyshoes · 23/05/2012 15:05

Did the friend leave as well?

YANBU

bobbledunk · 23/05/2012 15:07

YANBU, you did the right thing, she might use her manners next time she's in someone elses home. What a weirdo.

MaisyMooCow · 23/05/2012 15:07

YANBU

Cheeky cow, I'd have dragged her out by her hair Grin

JoannaFight · 23/05/2012 15:08

She sounds awful. I wonder why she took on such a hostile attitudeConfused. Has your friend got anything to say about her by way of an explanation or apology?

Yadnbu. I think from what you say she does have a chip of some sort. What other conclusion could anyone reach?

eurochick · 23/05/2012 15:08

She sounds very odd. What a strange way for someone to behave when they are a guest in someone's house.

Clytaemnestra · 23/05/2012 15:09

I would have chucked her out the second ignoring incident.

Ruudiluca · 23/05/2012 15:10

This was the most odd thing about the night, the guy who invited her just stayed sitting where he was and there was a distinct lack of fucks that he gave. He just carried on chatting to my brother and didnt bat an eyelid. He let her go home alone. Hmm

I was wondering if I had been a bit heavy handed throwing her out and felt a bit bad that I might have humiliated her some what.

OP posts:
lisaro · 23/05/2012 15:10

YABU not to have removed her with more 'enthusiasm' and much, much sooner. Grin

lou2321 · 23/05/2012 15:11

What did your friend say about it all?

TBH I probably would have questioned her as to why she was being so off with you first but you were not really being unreasonable!

lou2321 · 23/05/2012 15:12

x posts

Ruudiluca · 23/05/2012 15:12

My theory is that I have a "lower" class accent compared to my husband's family and friends. So maybe she looked down on me a bit. She might have stuck her nose up and thought I was rough round the edges.

Oh god I have probably proved her right. Blush

OP posts:
OurPlanetNeptune · 23/05/2012 15:13

Well done. She clearly has issues. Leave her to it, she is clearly bitter about something. If anything feel sorry for her - imagine the unhappiness and bitterness that must be eating away at her...

lou2321 · 23/05/2012 15:13

Then you were DEFINTELY NBU!!!!

Get0rfMoiLand · 23/05/2012 15:13

No, I think you were well within your rights to ask her to bugger off. Good on you for doing so rather than just be British and put up with the rudeness quietly.

Shame it scuppered your evening.

JoannaFight · 23/05/2012 15:14

How odd. Who needs it though especially at your own party in your own home. Looks like we all agree with you but you seem to be doubting yourself. What did your other friends say about it? Did they notice her behaviour or was she quietly aiming it just at you?

Ruudiluca · 23/05/2012 15:15

My husband keeps taking the piss and doing the Peggy Mitchell "Git ahhhht ma pub!"

I have never thrown someone out of my house before aswell it is strangely exhilarating Blush

OP posts:
lisaro · 23/05/2012 15:16

So your accent was not as polished? FFS, at least your parents taught you manners shame hers didn't! Stupid, badly brought up cow.

Ruudiluca · 23/05/2012 15:17

Joanna I am only doubtful because I feel like my actions ruined the night and also because I dont know if I can ever face my PILs again. Oh no Blush

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 23/05/2012 15:18

YANBU!

TheUnMember · 23/05/2012 15:23

So what joke did your husband make?