to think if you really wanted to, you wouldnt forget someone's birthday

[wineoclocktimeyet]

seriously, how hard is it to put note in a diary or calendar and buy/post a card?

Or if that is too much trouble in your such busy life doing sweet feck all as far as I can see then a phone call would have done.

So if you cant be arsed, then dont, a few days later when its much too late, give a simpering smile and pathetic little giggle and say how you really meant to but........

THERE IS NO BUT - he is a upset little boy

It depends on who forgot really and who the little boy is to them.

Depends on who it is. I always remember my friend's children's birthdays but she never remembers mine despite one being with her birthday and one sharing her dd's birthday.

Assuming that this is a specific grievance than I'm not sure how U you are being, but in general not everybody remembers everything they should or even wants to. I know I've often things like birthday parties, doctors appointments etc, which I really wanted to remember. When people are busy things do sometimes slip through the net.

I would. I've be known to forget my own birthday. Some people attach more importance to birthdays than others I guess. As Worra says, it depends who it is/what the boy is to them.

DH forgot his best friends birthday yesturday, and only realised when he went on Facebook. I forgot my cousins birthday this year. But it is because of me being in hospital and having a heck of a lot going on. They are adults and understand that people forget.

But YANB totally U. I think it depends on who forgot. An aunt / sister / gran / mother (and male counterparts) forgetting is bad. But a friend of a friend with no children forgetting is a bit different.
Is there a reason your son expected a card?
My DD is greatful of anything she gets for her birthday, and sees late gifts / cards as a bonus iyswim?

I'm a better late than never kind of gal. Life gets in the way sometimes.

To some people, birthdays are simply not that big a deal. OK, so a parent forgetting their own small DC's birthday would be a bit grim unless the whole family had a history of birthdays not being a big deal, but if it's a friend or a cousin or something who only sees the kid once a year, it just may not be that person's top priority.

Depends. We don't make a massive deal about birthdays, so I doubt any of my kids would notice if someone other than dh and I forgot theirs.

I think dh and I feel that our kids birthdays are our responsibility alone and no-one else's.

So it depends who forgot.

YABU. It is not unusual to forget close birthdays, usually I remember around the time - give or take a week or do - but not on the day. I'm ridiculously busy and can't retain it all, work things slip, doctors appointments slip, bills slip and sometimes so do birthdays even close family members. I don't have a calendar at home or a diary listing them. It's on the to-do list, although DH doesn't register it on his to-do list. I don't like myself for forgetting or not being organized enough to but, stamp, post a card but it happens often. I'll make up for it when I retire. I'm just saying, it happens, disappointing as it is, we're all just human.

My mum forgot my youngest brothers birthday one year........and he still takes the mick out of her now saying it's affected him all his life

She did have a damn good reason though - (me, literally at deaths door in hospital) and she was honest about forgeting it.

Nothing wrong in forgetting and being late - but people need to be honest about it in my eyes. Just say, shit I forgot, sorry.

Agreed. If a parent forgets that would be bad. Anyone else - no big deal.

Also, if the child's upset that's your influence I think.

Late bday cards are great

Tbh unless it's the mum or dad, I don't think it's that big a deal, and the only reason dh has a clue it's their birthday is cos we are together and I tell him (ie he would forget up to and including that day unless I was there to remind him)

Did person tell your ds they would send a card and that is why he is upset?

Late bday cards are great

Tbh unless it's the mum or dad, I don't think it's that big a deal, and the only reason dh has a clue it's their birthday is cos we are together and I tell him (ie he would forget up to and including that day unless I was there to remind him)

Did person tell your ds they would send a card and that is why he is upset?

I forgot my own this year . I put all my nieces and nephews dates in my diary, with reminders the week before, but then forget to look in my diary. In my defence, they always get a nice pressie ... just usually sometimes it's a month or late.

Fruity you are so right. I would much rather someone say, shit sorry I forgot rather than make up some elaborate excuse. I'm not that precious about birthdays apart from the fact that I hate getting cards, say the day after....that isnt my birthday so save it till next year!

I understand that the only people who must never forget DS's b/day is DH and I.......others are bound to, dont suppose their world revolves around him. But then DS wouldnt be upset if someone (apart from us) forgot his b/day - he too knows that the world doesnt centre round him.

In my extensive experience of forgetting family birthdays, it's always the mother that's upset, and not the child.

*month or two late

So who is it, exactly? Because anyone who had to "write it down" doesn't sound like they spend a great deal of time around your son; and therefore he might not be constantly in their thoughts like he is in yours?

I wouldn't remember my own birthday only for all the annoying people who insist on reminding me in the week running up to it. Unless it's a parent forgetting a childs, its perfectly understandable. Birthdays are only important to those who like to make a big deal out of them, it's not the same for everybody. Most people have a thousand things on their mind, they can't be expected to remember every occasion other people consider important.

My entire family is one of those that just doesn't make a big deal out of birthdays. We never have parties, will sometimes buy a gift if its a big milestone birthday, and sometimes buy cards, sometimes not.

We don't announce to anyone else when its our birthday, and just generally don't see them as that big an event. We are however very social and perhaps a bit over-the-top when it comes to things like Christmas.

Because I've grown up with this viewpoint of birthdays, I rarely remember (or even know) anyone's birthday outside of immediate family (husband and kids).

I don't really understand why its something that would cause upset if a relationship is otherwise great, and I tend to think that if it is really that upsetting then there is a lot of insecurity about the friendship/relationship.

I forgot my wedding anniversary last year. It was only our third.
I forget most things like that to be honest. Certainly wouldn't expect anyone to remember DD's exact birthday without prompting, takes me a minute sometimes when I have to fill out forms!

My dad has never remembered the dc's birthdays - not once. Because they have a relationship with him and would be hurt if they knew he forgot, I buy a present and a card from him every year. That way they are not hurt and he is not hurt. I am, but I am old enough to deal with that.

I forget everyone's except my DS and my DH.
Just because i forget their birthdays, it doesn't mean I love them less, it just means that I don't have time to get it sorted.
YABU.

I'm guessing it might be an ex who is the child's father?

My dad had 2 children with his first wife. He always sent cards, bought presents, had them to stay, remembered important events, etc. So they always maintained a good and close relationship with him.

Except that behind the scenes it was his second wife, my mum, doing all the remembering, buying, sending, inviting etc. Without her he could have very easily become a dad who never saw his kids. It didn't mean he didn't love them because of course he did, but he was seriously shockingly bad with remembering birthdays and buying presents. I don't think my mum ever got an anniversary card, and only got decent birthday and Christmas presents once I was old enough to advise my dad what to buy.

He died a few years ago and although this was one of a fair few faults of his, he was a wonderful, wonderful man. So I wouldnt judge somebody totally on their inability to remember birthdays - which is a good job as my brother has also inherited that trait!

well I guess I am the odd one out here then....

I have a set of friends who I've known for 30 years and to be fair for the best part of 25 years they've remembered my birthday, as I've remembered theirs & sent a card. We don't see each other as much as we'd like to but this year (just a few days ago) I didn't get a single card from them. This also happened about 3 years ago. I'll admit to being upset by this. In my mind it means they don't think very much about me....and maybe they don't? I don't forget them, or their children. I'd even be happy with a text saying 'happy birthday'.

I don't like cards that arrive days late, what's the point in that?

Sorry, didnt mean to drip feed but was fuming, had to edit all the swearwords out and just typing it helped!

It was my nephew 6th birthday and his poor excuse of a father (ex-BIL)who forgot his own son's birthday. He sees him every week so no excuse in my book.