hairy legs!

[earpiece]

Being a mixed race/ dual heritage woman, i have non identical twin girls by a white father - however, one is white with some carib features, while the sister is of a darker skin tone and very aware at the age of 9 and a half of her hairy legs and growing moustache! I remember the trauma at primary school of being teased about my hairyness - problem is, do i give in to my daughters demands and pleas to resolve the problem?

oh mine use razors gillete agilite disposable which are great no cuts or nicks , but the other year we were abroad on holiday and I found before we left veet for younger girls/sensitive skin , i think it was called Debut , might do her upper lip

Cannot alter the neanderthal views of the boys in year 4

But you can raise holy hell at school over the bullying!

I agree that it's "ok" to let her get rid of the hair, but the neanderthals will just move onto something else if this is changed. Let her do it if it's something SHE wants for herself, not just to stop bullies.

I remember my friend's mum used to take her to get her legs sugared from an early age. No - 20 years later the hair that does grow back is alot finer and doesn't grow back as quick.

I totally get where you are coming from. DD (11) has hairy legs and I shaved them for the first time yesterday. She knows I shave mine as I am dark and hirsuit so she has a role model in me. I daresay that my views have been shaped by society, but I just don't find dark hairy legs on a woman attractive.

Is it possible to do lazar removal on a girl that young if your budget allows? That way perhaps it will last a little longer and she won't be bogged down with constant hair removal.

I agree that bleach just turns it blonde. I bleached mine and my ex commented in it, I said but it's blonde ffs! He still called me Tom selleck. What a charmer.

Flatbread what a horrible idea. Lovely message to send to our daughters

Quiet, why? Following norms of beauty can be painful, time-consuming and expensive...what is wrong with teaching that early on? If dd is committed, she will continue or she will decide it is not worth it.

Fwiw, I started waxing at the age of 10 or 12 (cannot remember) and have continued. Now even get a full hollywood every six weeks....am a glutton for punishment

Punami, that is but very funny too

I think if you sound a very supportive mum.if she wants to get rid of the hair then its her decision.what is sugaring?

kali, I think sugaring is a type of waxing, using a sticky, caramelized sugar paste.

I started waxing at 11 - I was incredibly hairy!!

I'm so glad my Mum encouraged me to wax instead of shave as I now have baldy patches and where I used to have thick black hair it has over the years become finer.

I agree that it is sad that a 9 year old is being made to feel this way. But you can't expect a 9 year old to fight the battle.

You sound very supportive and I'm sure you will be able to get rid of the hair whilst also boosting her confidence around her general appearance and her perception of herself

So what age do you feel it's appropriate to start the whole de fuzzing?

I have an 8year old who has dark hair on her legs (and back bless her). Do I leave it til she mentions it, til the teasing starts or do I raise it.

Btw she can as hairy as she likes for all I care (looks at own legs!)

Noy suggesting I start now, just wondered when most people do start

I think you start when they ask and you feel that on balance it makes sense to

If your 8 year old isn't bothered I would leave it. Little girls still have some of that baby hair on their bodies eg the back hair

I can't believe how few people have talked about the school and what they should be doing to prevent the bullying. The fact that it happened to you too doesn't make it acceptable.
I'm not going to tell you not to help her remove the hair but you MUST, absolutely MUST make it clear to the school that if she is being teased about this at school it is not acceptable - for the sake of all the other girls with facial or body hair (which is after all perfectly normal and healthy) people have GOT to start kicking up more of a fuss about this, not just roll over, obediently remove the hair and put up with it.

I agree with Turnip.

I am a very dark hairy person but because I was told I was nothing but beautiful by my parents I believed them and my winning personality ensured I wasn't teased.
I now bleach a bit and shave a bit but I'm still not bothered about most of it and think TBH you must not only vain but insecure if you need to do much else than the bare minimum. I

Of course 10 isn't to young to take on society, her peer group are going to be society!

oh goodness imagine the resentment she will feel to you if you dont help her out and yet her own sister has none of this! it will seem like wilful punishment!

if lots of girls had hairy top lip and excess hair then maybe you could just support her, however i think as its rare, she will stand out - kids pick on anything....why make her stand out?

poor little mite - i bet she is singing inside now your helping her to get rid of this problem....

re hairyness in general - i personally think alot of women should just let it grow somtimes so socitey gets more used to seeing hairy women!

remeber hte utter outcry when julia roberts showed some underarm hair....

why do we do it to ourselves! so many pressure...

Don't bleach the tache! Get rid of the hair, don't just turn it blonde, it's v obvious. Im constantly itching to tell my boss 'it's still v visible yno'

I would go with what she wants, 9 is the beginning of a long super tough time of life. if being hairless helps her through the coming phases then it's a tiny thing to do which will reap huge benefits.

I'm trying to imagine what a school could do about the teasing that would make the situation better rather than worse. Not being sarcastic, I just can't imagine how it would work.

Bubbaluv - when my dcs' school has dealt well with things they have done it by not making it personal and not singling anyone out. So particular issues re friendship have been dealt with by class activities and homeworks around the theme of friendship. If the school dealt with it by announcing in assembly 'You mustn't tease Earpiece'sDD about her hairy legs' that would of course be ghastly and make matters worse. But if they did some general sessions on how it is not ok to pick on people about physical differences, and made it clear that school was on the side of the victim not the bully, and talked about the deeper issues of how you should not be made to feel you must change yourself to fit in, it would not single anyone out.

my mum didnt want me to shave my legs or armpits when i was growing up because she didnt (feminist principles) and i was bullied mercilessly. It was such a relief when i finally did it, but by then i was already an outcast.
Its better to express individuality once youve left school, not while youre there.
Let her shave them is my opinion.

Turnip - it does sound good, but that's what they used to do when I was at school and it certain didn't change anything. I guess it might at least make the victim feel that she had the backing of the school, but that's nothing compared to feeling like you fit in and have friends.

So you think we should be totally defeatist about this kind of bullying?

I am not telling the OP not to get her daughter the Veet. But I think if she does so without making it clear that there is NOT anything wrong with her, there is something wrong with the behaviour to the extent that it needs fighting, she will be letting her down.

From what I can see, schools HAVE made progress with making it clear that certain kinds of bullying are unacceptable. Racist and disablist bullying still happens but a lot more kids know it is wrong than was the case in the 70s when I was at school. They haven't yet made the same effort with sexist bullying. Sexist bullying remains in the box marked 'acceptable bullying' and this needs questioning.