Gym changing rooms

[Aloysius]

I have 4 boys, the eldest of which is 7 and we swim 4 times a week. The gym where I go has recently been dropping hints (the manager has a son in one of their classes) that he is too old to come in the ladies changing room, and has sent her son (aged 6 on his own in the mens). I am worrying myself to death about this and have so far flouted the rules. Apparently some lady complained when her son stared at her bust. My boys are quite at home with female bodies (we have no issue with nudity at home) and don't do this and I have no problem with him being confined to a cubicle (there are only 2) and then waiting outside when dressed. I can't believe that the lady who complained had any children/grandchildren because I did a quick straw-poll this morning and everyone agreed with me. Obviously my problem is compounded by the fact that I have 3 boys with me at any one time. There are no separate disabled changing rooms (only a disable toilet in the foyer). The showers in the mens changing rooms are all open and I have been informed that there is a male who 'likes younger boys' at the gym (this is from someone who was told by HIS wife). I am obviously worried out of my mind. I think it is unsafe and unreasonable. If the sign states "over the age of 7" could that be interpreted as until he is aged 8 ? I am seriously considering taking them to the municipal pool and keeping my £150 every 6 weeks for lessons.

Your last paragraph sounds quite selfish. Why should others using the corect facilities have to put up with people who wish to ignore rules?

In the case of special needs its different but then there does get to a stage where for everyone using the disabled facilities is the better option.

It does get to that stage Sirzy, but I don't personally think that 9 years old is it. They are still very much children at that age, but I would agree that by 10 it's a different matter.

I realise it may sound selfish, but I also think it is quite selfish to complain about a 9yo ( and especially a 7yo as in the OP) being allowed to change with his or her parents. Trying to explain to a child with AS why we had to use the disabled changing room one day, but explain why he had to wait in the queue for the toilet when the accessible one was empty the next is a lot harder than just putting knickers on under a towel.

As it is it never affected us because my ds always had his dad around at swimming when there were only male and female changing rooms, or it was all unisex cubicles, but that's not the point.

But if the op is at a private gym then surely by joining they agree to their terms and conditions so if they say 7s and older then that's what they agreed to.

I do see where your coming from and think 9 may be a better cut off but places have the rules in which you agree to when you sign up.

9 is waaaay too old for ANY boy to be in the ladies changing room.

Most people with disabilities accept that they are only disabled for certain activities though. For instance you may need a disabled parking space but not the extra space of a disabled toilet, because you can't walk far but have no problem going to the toilet and vv. If changing rooms are for opposite sex children under 7 only and an 11 year old boy is unable to use the changing room on his own because of his disability then that is what the disabled changing room is for. Whether or not he also needs a disabled parking space or accessible toilet are irrelevent. He doesn't have to take a guide dog with him either. You just use the stuff you need.

I personally wouldn't let my ds go into any changing room on his own at 7; male or female.

I remember going swimming with my Dad at about that age, and him getting me to go into the ladies' change. I hated it, it was always empty and in my head there were always monsters lurking in lockers

Can you not go somewhere with family changing areas?

YANBU, I find it interesting how much posters say that the chances of a paedo being the in the changing rooms is minute, let you ds go in alone, you are an alarmist, yet should you post asking whether to leave a baby in a house on its own for a minute to nip across to the shop, (where again the chances of anything happening to your baby are probably less than minute) most of mn jumps on you as a crazy unfit mother dicing with her babies life!

The child here is over 7 though and just in the next room and a fire starting is very unlikely.

I have all the usual worries about ds (just turned 7) going into changing rooms on his own, mostly in pool changing rooms we've not used before so he won't know where the loos are, where to wait for me, etc. The best design I saw recently was a gym where the wall between the men and women's changing room stopped a few inches below the ceiling. We could talk to each other while changing (it was only a small gym) but knowing that I would be able to hear him if needed or if someone was talking to him was very reassuring.

I swim all the time with my DCs and have done since my 10 yo DS1 was a baby and I have never come across this problem in real life, only have I heard such crap on MN.

My 10 yo can change alone my 8 yo does not because he is dozy and would take ages....... in no way was I ever sending a 7yo to a men's changing room alone. We have family change rooms at our pool now so is not a problem but if anyone would have stopped me getting changed with my young boys then I would have taken my business elsewhere.