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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that DH has the day off too?

44 replies

NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:13

Quite prepared to be told that I am BU!

We go on holiday next week and I have booked the day before we go off work and I plan to pack, clean the house, lay out travelling clothes etc. I am a childminder and so although I am home alot- its work and I never get child free time to myself. My older children will be at school and I have arranged for someone to have my very demanding toddler for the day also. I'm very much looking forward to an empty house to get nice an organised for our trip.

DH mentioned a few weeks back that he wished he had booked that day off too (it's a Monday so he feels it's annoying to go back after the weekend for one day) I said I'd prefer him not too as Ill get much more done without him under my feet. He agreed.

Well this morning he has called up to say he's been given the day off as a RDIL for some overtime he did at the weekend. I'm so annoyed!

He's promised to help or go out for the day (hell play golf), whichever I choose but I don't want him to 'help' as it will be 'man help' ;) and I don't want him to play gold as I'll feel resentful that his child free time is having fun whilst mine is packing. I want him to be at work!!

Why the hell do I feel so irrationally annoyed that he has the day off??? AIBU?

Blush
OP posts:
GnomeDePlume · 22/05/2012 13:15

Er..

Yes

redskyatnight · 22/05/2012 13:18

Surely the solution is to give him the jobs you hate/you won't worry about him getting "wrong". Everything will be done quicker and you can then both enjoy a relaxing afternoon?

Original poster
NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:18

Ah shucks! :)

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 22/05/2012 13:18

Make him clean, even if it's not quite to your standards. Packing and cleaning sounds a lot for one day.

mumeeee · 22/05/2012 13:19

YABU Let him help it might not be what you usually do but I would trust him to get on with thingsin his way. DH often has the day off before we go on holiday, He does his own packing and sorts the car out and I do my things. Also why do you lay out travelling clothes? How old are your DCs can't they choose thier own clothes? My youngest is 20 now and she still comes on holiday with us but of coures she does ll her own packing. But even when my children were small I would let them help with packing then they gradually did it themselves and I lways let them choose what they wanted to wear on the day we went.

BonkeyMollocks · 22/05/2012 13:20

I would be the same Blush

Tis very U!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 22/05/2012 13:20

YANBU - My DH does this too and just gets under my feet, ruins my plans and generally annoys me, lol

I do love him really but I feel your pain!

samandi · 22/05/2012 13:22

YABU, obviously.

VodkaJelly · 22/05/2012 13:22

I hate it when i have booked a day off to get things done and DP gets the day off or is off ill, it ruins my plans as everything has to evolve around what he wants. I like to have a day off to do my own thing on my timescale

halcyondays · 22/05/2012 13:23

Yabu. Why didn't you ask him to take your toddler out? What is "man help"?Confused are men somehow incapable of packing suitcases and cleaning the house? Doesn't your dh pack his own clothes?

CleanHankie · 22/05/2012 13:23

YANBU.

Could he maybe take the toddler out for the day?

glenthebattleostrich · 22/05/2012 13:23

See I don't think you are being unreasonable. My DH thinks that because I'm at home all day I'm having coffee and watching Jezza. The reality is I have 3 aged 2 and under to look after (also a childminder) and nap times are usually for writing up sheets and doing paperwork which I'll do as soon as I get off MN I very rarely get them all to sleep together so my day is intesive from 7 until 6. Then I have to be Mammy and do the housework, cooking etc.

On the rare days I'm not working and get DD looked after I end up cleaning so I can actually get it done quickly and properly. I honestly could not tell you the last time I had a day just to do what I want.

So if I thought that DH was having a jolly lovely time whilst I was packing etc I would be masively resentful and make him clean the garage or some other horrible job just to stop it!!!

I would suggest that you give him his packing to do (not your problem if stuff is missed). Then send him to the shops to get some nice frozen food for the day you get back so you've got something to throw into the microwave and then you should both have time to relax.

fruitysummer · 22/05/2012 13:24

I know what you mean about being put out as you thought you'd have the day to yourself. You can get so much done when on your own.

However, he's got it off so get him to take all the kids out on Sunday so you have that day free of them to get stuff done. Then on Monday ask him to do cut the grass, tidy up outside? Clear the garage???

ps, enjoy your holiday - i'm Envy as I'm desperate for a break Grin

Original poster
NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:27

I know I'll just have to get over it but Grr

The dcs are 8,5 and 1 and I'll lay there clothes out because it needs to be specific- warm things for this end but hot when we land so removable layers.

He'll question or shortcut all the jobs Ill ask him to do. He already doesn't see why I'll change all the beds if we won't be here whereas I want clean sheets to come home to.

OP posts:
Fireandashes · 22/05/2012 13:29

YANBU to be privately annoyed but YwouldBU to let it show or make an issue of it with DH. He has offered to help, so let him help - don't make yourself a martyr over a bit of holiday prep.

chipmunksex · 22/05/2012 13:32

This would piss me right off.

Original poster
NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:32

My aunt is having the toddler and very much looking forward to it so I'll leave that in place.

He does do his own packing so I'm not a complete control freak Hmm

Man help- where I give him the list of things to go in the case and he asks me where he'll find this, that and the other and I have to stop my job to assist. In short it's quicker to do it myself!

OP posts:
fruitysummer · 22/05/2012 13:33

hell yeah, clean sheets to come home to is an absolute must, no better feeling nicknack

I'm lucky tho - my DH does that as standard

and now I know you're off somewhere hot i'm even more Envy

forevergreek · 22/05/2012 13:34

I would write everything that needs doing down, tear list in half and do half each

Then by lunchtime you should be finished to go for a pub lunch and wander through park/ by river etc...

Original poster
NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:35

:) I will enjoy thanks!

OP posts:
MarySA · 22/05/2012 13:36

YANBU. I'd be furious. When you so looked forward to having a day on your own to get on with things. But apart from sending him to a shop 200 miles away for that partcular item you must have or locking him out the house can't think of anything. But somebody suggested garden work. That might be the answer.

Original poster
NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:36

That would be a lovely plan forever but I'm very pessimistic

OP posts:
TheUnMember · 22/05/2012 13:38

Leave the bastard!

Original poster
NickNacks · 22/05/2012 13:38

I'm beginning to think you've all seen my front garden by the way you're all suggesting garden work! 'Tis desperate!

OP posts:
Gumby · 22/05/2012 13:38

He can do the school run for the older kids

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